Chapter 18 Rain
EIGHTEEN
RAIN
“Who the fuck are you?”
The guy froze like I’d shot him then twisted around to stare at me. There was a strange stillness about his expression that had me wanting to run off, but he raised his hands and murmured, “I’m Harlow.”
I blinked. “Harlow? The guy I’ve heard Rachel talking about?”
“I assume I’m one and the same. I wouldn’t like to make assumptions though.”
Oddly soft spoken, I questioned, “What are you doing out here? It’s fucking freezing.”
“The same could be said for you,” was his retort.
My brow furrowed. “I’m in training.”
“What for?”
“I’m going to enlist after graduation.”
Wow.
That felt good to say out loud.
I’d never admitted it to anyone before, but the way he stared at me… it made me want to tell him the truth. It was like he'd know I was lying if I gave him some BS.
What the hell?
His head tipped to the side. “Which branch?”
“Army.”
“You want to fight wars?”
“I want to fight for people’s freedom.”
“Freedom’s relative.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“It shouldn't be, but it’s definitely relative. What you and I consider a breach of our civil rights is so far from a woman who’s not allowed to drive anymore because Afghanistan has changed governments.”
“I want to fight for women like her.”
“By killing people?”
I scowled. “What is this? A philosophical debate? I wanna know why the fuck you’re sleeping in a tent in my backyard?”
“This is your backyard?” He exhaled. “I didn’t realize. I thought it was just state land.”
“Well, it isn’t. Why aren’t you staying at the clubhouse?”
“Because I haven’t been invited to stay there yet. When Rex left… I don’t think he told anyone I was thinking about becoming a Prospect.”
My scowl darkened. “It was below freezing last night.”
“Of this I’m aware,” Harlow muttered before he popped a squat and started rearranging some logs on the ground.
It was only then that I saw he’d made a proper hearth for a campfire. It had stones around it and everything. I was an Eagle Scout, so I recognized someone who’d had the safety shit drilled into them.
And I wasn't just talking about Smokey Bear either.
“You were a scout?” I asked carefully as I stepped over to him, watching as he built a fire then set it to blazing.
All without us uttering a word.
Like I hadn’t told him he was trespassing, and like he didn’t know he was camping in my backyard.
“I was a scout, yeah,” he rumbled, shadows flickering on his face thanks to the flames.
I crouched down in front of it, feeling the heat seep into my frozen limbs.
I’d researched SEAL training, knew it went down in subzero temperatures, and had decided I could start preparing myself for that day.
Didn’t matter it was years in the future, preparation was everything.
Rach had taught me that.
“How are you staying warm? This fire won’t do dick.”
“Paper.”
“Paper?”
He nodded. “Shoved into my coat then down around my legs into my sleeping bag. It works well.”
I huffed. “It’s going to be colder tonight.”
“Maybe. It’s all good.”
Was it?
“If the brothers knew you didn’t have anywhere to go, they’d let you stay at the clubhouse.”
“I’m not forcing myself on them.”
Hesitantly, I said, “My sister, Rachel, mentioned there was going to be a new Prospect.”
“She mentioned that? To you?”
I grunted as the desire to stay quiet morphed and I admitted, “No. I heard her talking on the phone to someone in the Sinners. Are you the new Prospect?”
“Potentially.”
Getting pissed at the non-answers, I grumbled, “Is that a yes or a no?”
“It’s a ‘Rex told me that was the only way I could get what I want.’” He cast me a look, and something in his eyes…
He didn’t need the fire in front of him to look like he was burning in the flames.
There was something reminiscent about those eyes of his. Not the color, not even the Arctic frigidity in them that didn’t invite conversation.
Nyx.
That was it.
Nyx.
He looked the same kind of tormented.
Like he’d been damned and sent to hell, but this was earth. Not the devil’s playground. This was reality.
People shouldn’t look like that. They wore masks that got them through daily strife and locked shit down with red wine after work. Rach did that. She didn’t think I saw her pain, the anguish she endured, but I knew.
I’d caught her on Christmas Day, puking beyond the gates as Rex rode off. She’d looked like she was dying. I knew she grieved Bear, I did too, but there was no way that look was for Bear.
Sometimes, I thought she believed I was an idiot.
I knew how she looked at him; I just didn’t understand what held her back.
“There are worse things than being a Sinner.”
“There are?” He laughed. “Like what? If they’re so great, why don’t you want to be one?”
“I’ll Prospect eventually with them. Rach won’t like it, but I’ll do it.”
“She’s your sister?”
I hummed. “I think she wants me to be a cop, but I’m not going to be one of those corrupt bastards.”
I knew for a fact Rex wanted me to go into law enforcement. We’d had a couple conversations about how ‘good men’ like me were what ‘the country’ needed.
I didn't disagree—that was why I was enlisting and not becoming a pig.
Harlow rubbed his hands together, letting the flames heat them. “Can you fight for people’s freedoms as a soldier then inhibit other people’s on your home turf?”
“What do you mean?”
Harlow cast me a look. “They run guns and drugs, don’t they?”
Pretty much. Not that I said that.
“People’s freedoms involve being able to bear arms and to smoke whatever they want…” My lips twitched. “Nothing freer than being on the road.”
“Why not just go straight into the MC?”
I shrugged. “Got things I want to do first.”
“Like what?”
“Prove shit to myself. What about you? What were you before you came here?”
“Broken?”
I thought about that. “Lots of broken folk in the MC. Seems to be what puts people back together again.”
“I don’t think anything can put me back together again.”
Nyx sprang to mind, but I didn’t say that. I wasn’t supposed to know that he hunted pedophiles in his spare time. It was one of the major reasons I wanted to be a Sinner.
Theirs was a righteous cause.
“Then why are you here?”
“Because at least I’d be around like-minded men.”
“Not sure any of the brothers would be camping outside at the beginning of January. They’re not fucking crazy.”
Harlow’s lips quirked up. “I’m one of a kind.”
Jumping to my feet, I muttered, “I gotta get going.”
“I’m not stopping you.”
No, he wasn’t.
But… there was something magnetic about him.
I fully admitted that I wasn’t a leader. Neither was I a follower. I was a team player; I guessed that was the best way to describe me.
Harlow gave off a weird vibe, but it didn’t seem right, leaving him here.
“Want me to intro you to the brothers? Get you set up on the compound?”
“They already know who I am.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I want what I want and, to get it, I need to Prospect. I guess my principles are the problem.”
Confused, I asked, “What about them?”
“Carry on with your training, soldier boy. My problems and my freedoms aren’t something you can solve.”
While that annoyed the living fuck out of me, I couldn’t let the dick stay out here. Not when he could end up dead.
And it wasn’t just because the last thing we needed up on the hill was more cops roaming around, sniffing over the compound.
I couldn’t think of a worse way to goddamn die than being slowly frozen to death.
Shuddering at the thought, I asked, “Are you a cop?”
He barked out a laugh. “No.”
“You wouldn’t tell me if you were undercover though, would you?”
“No, I wouldn’t,” he agreed with a smirk. “The MC helped my little sister out. That’s why I’m here.”
Our eyes clashed and held, and his phrasing rammed its way home.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” I whispered.
“Thanks.” His gaze darted back to the flames.
“You want…” Jesus, how did I say this without getting the Sinners into trouble?
“They’re good people, Harlow. Might do shit that’s technically not approved of by certain members of society, but they’re good people.
They save lives. They just do it in their own way.
” I hesitated. “My conscience won’t let me leave you out here.
There’s a spare bed at home. Tonight, you can sleep—”
“What makes you say they’re good people? Don’t they live up to their names?”
“Sure they do. Not saying they’re not sinners, but isn’t to be human to invite sin?”
“You go to church?” he asked flatly.
I scoffed. “No. Rach isn’t the type. The Sinners aren’t the type either. More likely to sleep in on a Sunday than go to church. That doesn’t mean you can’t though. So long as you do your shit, I’m sure if you wanted, they wouldn’t stop you.”
“Are you trying to sell them to me? This sounds like a sales pitch.”
“Mostly I’m just trying to get you inside and out of this cold,” I admitted. “But I’m not lying. I don’t do lies." Especially with him and those weird eyes of his that seemed to see everything.
“Why not? Everyone lies.”
“Because lies can be caught out. Rachel, she’s a lawyer, she taught me that. Better to say nothing at all than to lie.”
“Good philosophy.”
“She’s smart.”
Harlow hummed as he got to his feet. “It really bothers you that I’ll be sleeping out here?”
“Yeah. It really does.”
“You’ve never slept on the streets before?”
“No. I couldn’t imagine anything worse—”
“Oh, I could,” Harlow rasped, his voice breaking.
Shit.
“I’m sorry, man. I didn’t think—”
“It’s all good.” He raised a hand. “I’ll put the fire out and head to the compound.”
“You will?”
He rocked his head back to look at me, and in the firelight, his eyes burned even hotter than before. “I will.”
I felt like a kid, but I asked, “You swear?”
“I swear.”
I didn’t realize that would be the first of many promises I’d ask of this man.
And I sure as hell didn’t realize it would be the first he’d live and die by.