Chapter 9
Nine
Kara had taken leave of her senses. That was the only possible explanation for having wild sex with Dan Torrington—on one of the launches, no less. She would’ve cringed at her loss of self-control if she hadn’t enjoyed it so much.
In the aftermath of explosive passion, she’d had an unsettling realization.
If she’d married Matt, she never would’ve experienced what had just happened with Dan.
The difference was so stark as to be life-changing.
Kara wasn’t sure she wanted her life changed by a man. She’d already allowed that to happen once before and wasn’t ready for anything like it again. As long as she kept things with him limited to sex and a little fun here and there, she could survive him and maybe even enjoy him.
But she would not fall for him.
No way. No how. She was finally on course to a whole new life that didn’t include drama or heartache or any of the other miseries she’d left behind in Maine. All she wanted was peace and quiet, and she’d never have either of those things with Dan.
However, she’d take some more of the most intense orgasms of her life.
Why was it so different with him?
That was all she could think about as she brought the launch back to the dock and tied it up, as her body continued to throb with aftershocks, which were also new to her. Usually, it was over before it began, but not this time. Not with him.
She should’ve known he’d be exceptional at that, too. He seemed to be good at everything he did.
Kara told herself she could bring him home with her, have sex with him again and let him go in the morning with no promises of more. They were both adults who could consent to a one-night stand. She wasn’t down for anything more than that, and before he left, she’d find a way to tell him that.
He was quiet as he drove them the short distance from the marina to the driveway outside her place.
Dan Torrington was never quiet. His silence put her on edge as they went inside.
Her gaze landed on the festive bouquet of Gerbera daisies he’d brought without knowing they were her favorite. She was willing to give him credit for getting a lot of things right on this first date, but he was the kind of man who could take over her life if she let him.
She wouldn’t let him.
If the last two dreadful years had taught her anything, it was that she could rely only on herself. The minute she put her well-being in the hands of someone else, she lost control of her own situation. That wouldn’t happen again.
She would keep her wits about her even as he rendered her witless and every other thing with the way he looked at her.
Then he ran a finger over her back, and she was all in again that quickly.
He was dangerous.
Kara turned to him.
He looked at her with a palpable hunger, as if the earlier encounter had never happened.
As he took a step to close the distance between them, she had the clarity to realize it wasn’t too late to put a stop to this. If she said no and asked him to leave, he would go. She had no doubt about that.
The word was on the tip of her tongue. No. No more. That was it.
But she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Not when he was smoothing his hands over her bare arms and goose bumps were erupting over her entire body. Not when he looked at her like she’d hung the moon, like she was the only woman in the world he wanted.
He made her feel cherished, which she hadn’t known she needed until he’d shown her.
Just for tonight, she thought in the instant before his lips found hers in another desperate kiss.
It was all too much.
He was too much—and not enough.
Her brain was being thoroughly scrambled by the insistent sweep of his tongue against hers, or she might’ve wondered how both those things were possible at the same time.
Dan walked her backward toward the bed, releasing the button on her dress as they went.
The dress fell away, leaving her bare to his gaze, since she’d tucked her bra and panties into her purse on the boat.
She regretted that and the night-light she left on all the time, which made it possible for him to really see her this time.
“You’re stunning, Kara. Absolutely stunning.”
They were the first words he’d said since they’d left the boat, and they were exactly the words she most needed to hear.
How did he do that?
It was better not to think about such questions since this would be over in the morning. What did it matter how he knew what she needed before she needed it?
He arranged her so she was seated on the edge of the mattress and encouraged her to lie back as he positioned her feet on his shoulders.
Wait a min—
Oh, holy hell.
That’d never been something she particularly enjoyed, but true to form, he made her forget her own name as he pulled out all the stops to bring her the kind of pleasure she’d only read about before now.
Right when she thought he was finished, he started all over again.
She lost track of how many times…
She lost track of everything.
As he pressed into her, startling her out of the sex coma he’d put her into, she understood she’d made a huge mistake by bringing him home. This was a man who played for keeps, and she wasn’t interested in being kept by anyone.
But as he tucked his hands under her and raised her to receive his deep strokes, she had the disturbing thought that being kept by this man might not be so bad.
No, no, no.
“Kara.”
She opened her eyes and looked up to find him staring at her, his expression as serious as she’d ever seen it as he throbbed inside her.
“Are you okay?”
No, she wasn’t okay. Not at all. But with the start of yet another release putting her entire body on full alert, she couldn’t marshal the fortitude to put a stop to this madness. “Yes, I’m okay.”
That smile. Those damned dimples. The powerful orgasms that made her scream.
This had been a huge mistake.
Perhaps the biggest mistake of her life.
When Kara’s alarm went off at six, Dan wanted to weep.
He’d been asleep only a short time and was sincerely sorry he’d ever agreed to sail.
But Mac and the others were counting on him, so he wouldn’t renege.
However, he wanted to. All he wanted was more of what he’d had during the night—the best sex of his life.
He glanced over at Kara, asleep next to him with her hair spread out on the pillow and her lips pursed into an adorable pucker. She was so damned gorgeous, and he felt like the luckiest bastard on the face of the earth to have spent the night with her.
Where they’d go from here was the big question.
Would this be one magical night, or was it the start of something more?
He wanted very badly to know the answer to that question but wouldn’t wake her to ask.
Instead, he slid out of bed and got busy gathering his clothes, which were flung about the room.
She hadn’t changed her mind about inviting him home.
If anything, she’d been even more enthusiastic when they got to her place.
The missing buttons on his dress shirt were an indication of just how enthusiastic she’d been.
To Dan, the gaps in his shirt were like hard-won trophies.
Now he had to ensure that he didn’t mess up what had been a promising start.
“Are you leaving?”
Dan turned, surprised she was awake. “I’ve got to be at the dock in an hour.” He sat on the edge of the bed and kissed her exposed shoulder.
She shrank away from him.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“You promised you wouldn’t hate me.”
“I don’t.”
“But?”
“Nothing,” she said again.
Anxiety rippled through him. “Why do you keep saying that?”
“Because that’s what I want—nothing. Last night was fun. I enjoyed it very much. But it doesn’t mean we’re a thing now.”
“So you were just using me to get laid?”
“I didn’t say that!”
“How would you put it, then?” Needing to channel the hurt and anger, Dan stood and grabbed his belt off the floor, jamming it through loops with unsteady hands.
“I don’t want to be involved with anyone.” She looked remote and closed off, the way she had for weeks before he’d finally gotten through to her. “I told you that from the beginning.”
“I knew we shouldn’t have had sex. I suspected I’d regret it when it was happening, and now I know it for sure.”
“I’m sorry you regret it.”
“The only thing I regret is that we’re back to square one.” He snapped his watch onto his wrist and grabbed his coat off the chair in the corner. “And I regret that I don’t have time now to discuss it further because I have somewhere to be.”
“That’s fine. There’s nothing left to discuss.”
Staring at her, incredulous, he said, “I’m disappointed in you, Kara.
I thought you had more guts than that. I guess I was wrong.
” He made the mistake of taking one last look at her face, which was how he discovered his words had stunned and hurt her.
Though he regretted that, he didn’t regret saying it, because she’d hurt him, too.
In the car, he pounded on the steering wheel until his hand was sore. “Goddamn it!”
Kara curled into a ball and pulled the covers up over her head as tears slid down her cheeks.
Her first thought: That was exactly the kind of scene she’d hoped to avoid.
Her second thought: She was a jerk.
Her third thought: He hadn’t deserved that.
Ugh! He’d been nothing but lovely to her, and she was a nasty bitch to be taking the sins of another man out on him.
Because she still didn’t have his phone number, she couldn’t call him to apologize, but she’d tell him that the first chance she got.
How would she spend all day feeling like total shit while he was off sailing and probably thinking the worst kinds of thoughts about her?
This was all Matt and Kelly’s fault. They’d screwed her up when they screwed her over, and this was the mess she was left with.
A decent, sexy, wonderful man seemed to really like her. He’d proven himself sincere a hundred times since she first met him, and how had she responded after the most erotically charged night of her life?
She cringed when she recalled telling him she wanted nothing from him along with the flash of pain that’d crossed his handsome face.
Why had she said that when she didn’t mean it?
“What is wrong with you?”
She wiped her face, sat up in bed and reached for her phone to call Bertha, the first person on her list of favorites.
“Good morning, my love. This is a nice surprise.”
Kara could hear the low hum of the diesel engine that powered her grandmother’s lobster boat. That sound made up one of Kara’s core childhood memories. “How’s the weather?” She couldn’t care less about the weather in Maine, but since that was one of Bertha’s favorite topics, she asked.
“Chillier than I like for this time of year, but so far, a good haul today.”
“Is Buster with you?” Her autistic uncle was one of the best trap haulers in the business and was one of Kara’s favorite people.
“Working the traps as always.”
“Glad to hear it. Tell him I said hi.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Why?”
“Honestly, Kara, do you think I couldn’t tell with one word that you’re upset about something?”
She wouldn’t have thought it possible to laugh, but leave it to Big B. “There’s a guy…”
“Hallelujah and praise the Lord!”
“Stop.”
“I won’t stop. I’ve watched you mourn for that absolute putz Matt long enough. Tell me everything about your new guy.”
“He’s not my guy… You think Matt is a putz?”
“Hell yes.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me that?”
“Because you wouldn’t have wanted to hear it. Although, with hindsight, I should’ve said something so you wouldn’t have been blindsided by them.”
“You’re right that I wouldn’t have wanted to hear it. I thought he was the one.”
“He was never the one for you. Kelly deserves him.”
“Bertha!”
“What? Anyone who’d do what she did to her own sister deserves a petty, self-centered man like him. But enough about the putz. Tell me about the new guy.”
“His name is Dan Torrington.”
“The lawyer?”
“You’ve heard of him?”
Her deep guffaw was another of Kara’s favorite sounds from childhood. “Sweetheart, the whole world has heard of him.”
“I hadn’t until someone clued me in to what he does.”
“I’ve read about some of his cases and seen some pictures of him.”
“And?”
“Do I have to tell you that the man is sinfully handsome?”
“No, you don’t. He’s also very nice, charming, annoying, persistent, funny, sexy…”
“Oh my. This is music to my ears, love. I’ve wanted so badly for you to meet someone who truly deserves you.”
“How do you know Dan does?”
“Because you called to tell me about him.”
“That’s not why I called!”
“Liar.”
“Why do you have to know me so well? It’s annoying.”
“So you’ve told me a thousand or two times in your young life. What happened with Dan that has you upset?”
“Things happened. Things I’m not sure I’m ready for.”
“Oh for goodness’ sake, Kara. Of course you’re ready for it. The nonsense with the putz happened two years ago. You can’t possibly still be thinking about him.”
“I never think about him.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I don’t know. Something is keeping me from giving in with Dan. I like him. I really do. I didn’t want to, but he keeps showing up and bringing me Mountain Dew.”
“The man already knows the way to your heart.”
“My heart isn’t what it used to be.”
“Yes, it is. It’s stronger now than it was before because it knows what can happen if its owner isn’t careful about who she gives it to.”
“So my heart is a person in this scenario of yours?”
“Something like that. You get my point.”
“I do.”
“Is he someone you might be able to take a chance with?”
“Maybe. He’s been through some heavy crap of his own.”
“Then he must understand where you’re coming from.”
“I think he does, until I turn into a miserable bitch who tells him she wants nothing from him after the most romantic night of her life.”
“Ouch. That must not’ve gone over well.”
“It didn’t. I hurt him, and I didn’t want to do that.”
“Stop running scared and live your goddamned life, will you? Don’t give those two one more second of your time or attention. What happened with them is on them, not you.”
“It’s sort of on me since I didn’t see it coming.”
“They didn’t want you to see it. That says more about them than anything ever could.
Don’t let them continue to live in your head rent-free.
A man like Dan could be doing a lot of things with his life.
Look at how he’s chosen to use his considerable talents.
That says a lot about who he is as a human being. ”
“Yes, it does.”
“So you’re going to fix things with him and apologize for being a nasty bitch?”
“The first chance I get.”