Chapter 10
Ten
They lay facing each other, listening to the symphony of crickets on the nearby shore and the soft music. He twirled one of her curls around his finger as he whispered along with Sinatra singing “The Way You Look Tonight.”
She closed her eyes to hold back tears that threatened to ruin the loveliest moment of her life. He was everything—everything she had ever wanted and so much more.
“Are you sad, Andi?”
“How could I be? It was so… I’ve never…”
He leaned over to quiet her with a kiss. “I know.”
She ran her fingers up and down his back, wanting to savor every minute with him.
“I’m starving,” he said, his voice muffled against her breasts.
She laughed and hugged him for another minute before she let him go.
He pulled on a pair of shorts he unearthed from a drawer below the bed. “Don’t move.”
They stayed in bed and devoured the dinner he’d brought. He fed her crackers loaded with brie and thin slices of prosciutto ham.
“Mmmm,” she said. “That’s heavenly.”
The CD player flipped to the next disk, and Andi giggled when Sammy Davis Jr.’s “Candy Man” came on. “I’m sensing a theme.”
“Jamie loves all things Rat Pack. He’s even got a stash of Cuban cigars around here somewhere. Want one for dessert?”
“I think I’ll pass.” She leaned over to kiss him and refilled the wineglass they were sharing. Taking another handful of grapes, she fed him several and kissed the juice off his lips. “Speaking of Jamie, I meant to ask, how’re things with him and Frannie?”
“Apparently, he’s planning to propose.”
“Wow, how do you feel about that?”
“I’m thrilled. I love them both, and it’s funny how what would’ve seemed crazy a couple of weeks ago suddenly makes perfect sense.”
“I know what you mean,” she said with a coy smile.
He grinned. “I guess you do, don’t you?”
“The girls will be excited about Frannie and Jamie getting married, won’t they?”
“For sure, but you know who would’ve really loved it?”
“Clare.”
He looked up at the ceiling. “She was always fixing them up with friends of hers, trying to get them settled. She would’ve found this very ironic, to say the least.”
Andi rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m glad it’s worked out for them. It’s such a sweet story, how it’s taken them decades to find something that was always there.”
“It’s amazing.”
She reached up to play with his hair. “What’re you thinking?”
“It’s important that you know I was never unfaithful to Clare. I never even thought about it.”
Caressing his face, she said, “You’ve been so faithful to her, Jack.”
“Everyone’s been urging me to get back to living, and I thought I was doing that by reconnecting with the girls and going back to work.” He ran his fingers through her silky curls. “But it took meeting you to make me feel truly alive again.”
“You’ve been through an awful thing, but it hasn’t destroyed you.”
“I never would’ve gone looking for this, even though I’m so glad I found you.” He kissed her softly. “But I worry I’m dragging you into a no-win situation.”
“I’ve stepped into your life with my eyes wide open. We’ve asked nothing more from each other than what we have right now. You’ve got so many things to worry about. Don’t add me to the list.”
“Thank you for what you did…before. Somehow you knew just what I needed. I don’t think I could’ve done this with anyone but you.”
She hugged him close to her.
He trailed kisses up her neck. “Had it been a long time for you, too?”
“Since Alec.”
“Then why are you still on the pill, or is that none of my business?”
“To keep my periods regular. I get all out of whack without it.”
“Mmm,” he said, “we can’t have that. You taste so good, like wine and…” Taking another taste, he added, “Sweetness. I could very easily get addicted to you.” He flicked his tongue in a teasing stroke over her lips before traveling to her neck and breasts.
The feel of her fingers combing through his hair seemed to fuel his desire as he pressed his lips to her belly. Parting her legs with his shoulders, he trailed a finger through her dampness.
“Jack,” she whispered, arching her back.
He dipped his head and added his tongue.
She cried out.
Dropping soft, openmouthed kisses on her inner thigh, he kissed his way to her core and took her right over.
“Oh, God,” she said, gasping for air and looking up at him with wide eyes.
He kissed his way to her mouth. “I love you,” he whispered as he entered her. “I love you so much.”
She brushed the hair back from his forehead and kissed him. “I love you, too.”
Jack awoke next to Andi on Monday morning after a desperate last night of lovemaking.
He experienced a horrible, sinking sensation every time he imagined going back to the lonely existence he’d led before she swooped in and changed everything. She’d helped him see that, despite how it seemed, his life wasn’t over. Altered? Yes. But over? No.
The weekend had been one of the best of his life.
They’d sailed and fished and gone swimming and exhausted themselves making love into the wee hours of each morning.
But with her departure time creeping closer, Jack had sensed her withdrawal, as if she was preparing herself to leave him.
Her quiet introspection had begun to worry him as the sun rose on their final morning together.
He hugged her tight against him, and she stirred.
She pushed her hair back and turned to face him. “Are you all right? What is it?”
He stroked her cheek. “No, I’m not all right. I don’t want you to go.”
“I have to go. You know that.”
“What happens now?” he asked.
She studied him for a long time. “I don’t know,” she finally said. “Maybe we go about our lives with a lovely memory of a once-in-a-lifetime weekend.”
His stomach dropped. “You can’t be serious. You expect me to pretend this never happened?”
“We have to be realistic, Jack.” As she said the words, her lips quivered and her eyes filled.
“We live more than a thousand miles apart. We have established lives and children who can’t be uprooted.
How can we put ourselves through a long-distance relationship that can’t go anywhere?
It’ll just get more difficult every time we see each other. ”
“Isn’t an occasional weekend or vacation better than nothing?”
“You can’t do that to your girls, Jack. How will you ever explain me to them?”
Frustrated and panic-stricken, he stared at her. “If you felt this way, why did you come this weekend?”
“I almost didn’t, but I needed to see you. I needed to know—”
He sat up and moved away from her. “What? What did you need to know? That you’re walking away from what could be the love of your life?”
A sob hiccupped through her. “I have no doubt that’s exactly what I’m doing.
I’m so sorry, Jack. I wish things could be different, but I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest after one weekend with you.
How can I keep putting myself through this when I know we can never really be together? ”
Jack rubbed his eyes as despair crept back in.
He hadn’t missed that feeling this weekend.
“There has to be a way. I can’t lose you now that I’ve found you—now that we’ve found each other.
I love you, Andi. I’ve loved only one other woman in my life, and I knew it just as quickly then as I do now.
This is right between us. I can’t tell you how I know. I just do.”
“I love you, too.” Her voice caught with emotion as she cradled his face in her hands and turned him to her.
“I love you so much. I’d like nothing more than to have the rest of my life to show you just how much.
I’ve never admired anyone more than I do you, the way you’ve survived in spite of everything.
I wish things were different, that we’d met at a different time in our lives. ”
He held her close enough to drink in the scent that was so uniquely hers, knowing she was right. But he couldn’t imagine going back to the bleakness he’d been living with before. When everything in his world turned to black and white, she’d brought back the color.
“I’m not sorry,” she whispered. “I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”
“Me either.” He kissed her gently at first and then with more passion as her enthusiastic response fed his desire. Knowing they were short on time, he entered her with a quick thrust of his hips and then gave her a moment to adjust. He gazed down at the lovely face that would haunt him forever.
She reached for him and fused her mouth to his.
“How can we let go of this?” he asked, filling her and then withdrawing, leaving her bereft.
When he went deep again, she wrapped her legs around him to keep him there and rocked against him.
The end, when it came, was more powerful and consuming than any other time.
“How am I supposed to let you go?”
“Please, Jack,” she whispered. “Please.”
He shifted off her but kept his eyes fixed on her when she got up to take a shower.
Two hours later, they drove over the bridge on the way out of town, and Andi took a last look back at the harbor.
When they reached the airport, Jack parked to walk her in. At security, he took her hands. “Thank you,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion.
Her long lashes sparkled with tears. “I had the best time, Jack. I’ll never forget it—or you.”
He hugged her and whispered, “This is not the end, Andi. It’s not over.”
They held each other for a long time before she backed away. “Bye.”
He said nothing as he watched her go.
Those who knew Jack best agreed that the recent healing they’d witnessed had suffered a serious setback in the aftermath of Andi’s departure.
“I’m so worried about him,” Frannie said to Jamie late one night when they were in his bed. “It’s almost worse this time because he had a second chance at happiness, and now that’s gone, too. He looks devastated again.”
“He’s been trying to hide it, but he’s a mess. Do you think he’s in love with her?”
“I’m sure of it.”
“Maybe he could convince her to move here.”