Chapter 30
Thirty
Clare’s heart beat fast, so fast she couldn’t catch her breath. He grabbed her, and she shrieked.
The car was hurtling at her, offering relief, blessed relief.
Big, blond, handsome, vicious. He was going to hurt her. Then she was on the floor. He was on top of her, tearing at her clothes.
Clare screamed when he forced his way inside her, but there was no one there to hear her.
It went on forever, or so it seemed. The red-hot pain tearing through her took her breath away.
Then he was done. Somehow, though, he managed to do it again, but this time she blacked out when his crushing weight stole the air from her lungs.
The car came at her—a blue sedan, the driver hunched over the wheel. Take me away. Make it all go away.
The monster dragged her to her feet, ordered her to get dressed.
Her clothes were torn, but she put them on anyway.
He made her drive him back to his car. Before he got out, he grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her so close his spit hit her face.
“If you tell anyone, I’ll kill one of your kids.
You won’t know when, and it won’t matter to me which one, but I’ll do it.
Breathe a word of this to anyone and one of your girls is dead, you got me? ”
Mute with shock and fear, Clare nodded.
“Try to get me locked up,” the monster continued, his once handsome face now twisted and ugly, “I’ll get someone to do it. Don’t fuck with me.”
Clare nodded again, desperate to be rid of him.
He released her abruptly and was gone.
The car came at her faster this time. Not in front of the girls. Don’t do this to them. I’m so tired. I can’t move. He can’t hurt them if I’m dead. Take me. Take me away. Make it all go away. She saw Jack’s handsome, smiling face, and then blackness—beautiful, peaceful nothingness.
Clare woke up screaming and crying.
Nurses came running into her room.
“Clare, honey, what is it?” one of them asked, brushing the hair off her sweat-soaked forehead.
On the verge of hysteria, Clare fought for every breath.
“I’ll get the doctor,” the other nurse said. “She’ll give you something to settle you.”
“No!” Clare shrieked. “I want to remember.” She’d had the dream before. The car was new, but she remembered dreaming about the attack for months afterward. She’d been haunted by it but had suffered even the nightmare in silence to protect her children.
“What do you remember, Clare?” the doctor asked.
Clare forced herself to take a deep breath in an attempt to calm down but couldn’t stop the shaking of her hands or the hard, relentless beating of her heart. “I want Jack,” she whispered. “Will you please call my husband?”
Jack ran through the dark hospital parking lot. His first thought when the phone rang in the middle of the night was that Andi had gone into labor early.
The nurses were waiting for him when he reached Clare’s floor in the rehabilitation facility.
“What happened?”
“She had a nightmare and woke up screaming and crying. She’s asking for you.”
He ran past the nurse’s station to Clare’s room. She wept quietly while one of the nurses held her hand and tried to comfort her. When Jack stepped in, the nurse got up and left the room.
“Clare, honey, what’s wrong?” he asked, taking the hand the nurse had been holding.
“I remember,” she whispered. “The car… I did it on purpose.”
“No. You wouldn’t have done that to the girls.”
“I should’ve told you then.” She shook her head as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. “Maybe none of this would’ve happened if I had.”
Confused, he said, “Told me what, honey?”
“I was raped. By a client in an empty house I was showing him.”
Stunned, Jack stared at her.
“I didn’t tell you or anyone because he told me he’d kill one of the girls if I did. I believed him.” She choked on a sob. “His name was Sam Turner, and all the girls in my office were jealous because he was so handsome, and I got to work with him.”
Jack moved onto the bed and put his arms around her. “I would’ve killed him, Clare. Before he could’ve harmed anyone else in my family.” He struggled to contain the rage that threatened to consume him. “I would’ve killed him.”
“I wanted so badly to tell you,” she whispered against his chest. It was the first time she’d let him hold her in all the weeks since she’d come back to them.
“But all I could think about day after day was what I’d do without one of my girls.
One day I’d imagine Maggie was gone. The next day it would be Jill and then Kate.
The way he said it, I know he would’ve done it. ”
“I never would’ve let that happen.”
“I was so afraid, Jack. That day, in the parking lot when the car was coming at me, all I saw was a way out.”
“Clare…” He gasped, stunned by her admission. “But the girls, they were standing right there. How could you do that to them?”
“I thought of them. I thought of you. But I couldn’t make myself move. I just knew if I were gone, they’d be safe. They’d all be safe.”
“Had you been thinking about that?” He chose his words carefully. “About taking your own life?”
“It never crossed my mind until that car was coming at me.”
“I don’t know what to do for you. What do you want me to do?”
“Call the police, Jack. I want to report a rape.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded. Her tears were gone, and in their place was anger and determination.
Jack asked for Sergeant Curtis, the officer who’d investigated the accident, and he arrived thirty minutes later.
“Good to see you, Jack.” Curtis shook his hand. “I was delighted to hear about your wife’s recovery.”
Jack introduced him to Clare, and she told him her story, gave a description of the man, and the approximate address of the house where the attack had occurred.
She said her office kept logs of agents’ appointments, and they’d have the exact address and be able to confirm the dates she’d worked with Sam Turner.
“I’ll be honest with you, Clare,” the officer said.
“I believe you. I believe your story. I want you to know that.” He paused before adding, “But there’s no physical evidence to tie him to the crime.
” Curtis had cringed when she said she threw away the clothes she’d been wearing.
“The crime scene itself was long ago compromised. If—and that’s a very big if—we’re ever able to bring this case to trial, it’d be your word against his. An entirely circumstantial case.”
Jack stared at him, incredulous. “So you’re saying this guy can rape my wife, terrorize her by threatening the lives of our children, and he could get away with it?”
“We’ll do our very best for you,” Curtis said. “I’ll have his name run through all the databases, and I hope we’ll find he’s in the system somewhere. If we can nail him, Clare, we’ll do it.”
“Thank you, Sergeant,” Clare said as she clutched Jack’s hand.
“I want your guarantee that my daughters will be safe,” Jack said, mentioning that Jill was at Brown. “If he finds out we told the police—”
“We’ll have people everywhere they are. I’ll contact the Brown University police, too. Nothing will happen to them,” Curtis assured them as he got up to leave. He promised to keep them informed.
After he left, Clare’s psychiatrist, Dr. Baker, came in to talk to her. Clare told her story yet again, and when she was finished, she had only one question for the doctor.
“Did I try to commit suicide?” she asked in a small voice.
“I think it might’ve been more of a post-traumatic stress reaction.”
Clare was relieved to hear that.
“We’ll need to spend a lot of time talking about this,” Dr. Baker said. “But right now, you need rest more than anything. I’ll be back in later to check on you.”
When they were alone, Jack said, “I need to talk to the girls so they’ll know why the police are around.”
“I should tell them myself,” Clare said.
“I’ll take care of it. I don’t want you to worry about anything.”
“Thank you for coming when they called you. I appreciate it.”
Jack sat back down on the bed and took her hand. “Of course I came. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
“I haven’t been very nice to you, and I’m sorry for that.” She reached up to caress his face. “Jamie was in the other day. Did you know that?”
Surprised by the loving gesture, Jack shook his head. Jamie hadn’t told him.
“We had a long talk. He said a lot of what everyone else has said, but he also told me how worried you were that people would think you’d forgotten about me if you pursued a relationship with Andi. It helps to know you thought of me.”
“I never stopped thinking of you.”
“But you had a life with her,” Clare said sadly. “You’re in love with her. I don’t know where I fit into that.”
“We don’t need to talk about it now. You’ve had a tough night. Why don’t you try to get some sleep while I go talk to the girls about the police?” He pulled the covers up around her and leaned down to kiss her. “I’ll be back.”
“She was raped?” When his legs seemed to fail him, Jamie dropped into a chair.
Jack had stopped by Frannie and Jamie’s house on his way back from seeing Jill in Providence.
The girls had been stunned to hear what’d happened to their mother.
He’d glossed over some of the details to keep them from being terrified.
As much as it pained him, he’d had to tell them they’d been threatened so they would be vigilant and ask for help if they needed it.
Maggie was still afraid the bad man would make good on his threats, but after Jack pointed out the police car in the driveway, she felt better.
“Why didn’t Clare say anything?” Frannie asked, shocked by the news.
“He threatened the girls.” Jack told them about Turner’s threat.
“Son of a bitch,” Jamie swore under his breath.
Jack relayed what Sergeant Curtis said about the lack of evidence and how they should be prepared for Turner to possibly get away with what he’d done to Clare.
“No way,” Frannie said. “There’s no way we can let that happen. All the pain and grief… He can’t get away with it.”