Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
Nathan walked Georgie to the front door. Cat had left the porch light on when she left, but otherwise the house was dark.
“Looks like I’m the first one home.”
“Seems like it.”
An awkward pause hung in the air between them.
“Georgie—”
“I had fun today.” She smiled up at him. “Sorry. What were you going to say?”
His face grew serious.
Her heart raced.
“I want you so much,” he said in a soft, sexy voice.
He rested his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes.
“I want to feel your silky skin against mine. I want to kiss you and taste you and smell you. I want to be inside you, so deep I can’t tell where you end and I begin. I want you. Desperately.”
No one had ever said such things to her. “Nathan,” she sighed. “I want you, too. I want to spend another night with you the way we did before. I want that so much.”
He hooked an arm around her neck and kissed her with a ravenous appetite that took her breath away. That this strong, decent, kind, beautiful man wanted her this much . . .
“Nathan.” She pushed gently but insistently on his chest. “What you said last night, the reason you couldn’t stay. Nothing’s changed. And if we do this, it’ll only make it harder—”
“Not possible,” he joked.
“Stop,” she said, laughing. “Don’t make jokes. I’m serious.”
“I know.” His mouth twisted into a grudging expression. “And I know you’re right, as much as it pains me.”
She looped her arms around his waist and pushed hard against his arousal. “Does it help to know I want you just as much?”
“Ah, yeah,” he said through gritted teeth. “Sure.”
“I do. And if I wasn’t certain it would make things worse rather than better, I’d be dragging you upstairs right now.”
He groaned. “I could do without that visual if you’re saying no.”
“I’m saying I wish. I wish so many things were different.”
He leaned his forehead against hers and stayed there for a long time before he pressed kisses to both her cheeks. “Are you opening the center tomorrow?”
She nodded. “And then I’ll be at the hospital waiting to hear about Gus’s surgery.”
“I have court first thing, and then I’ll try to come by the hospital.”
“You’re going back to work? Already?”
“Light duty this week. I have to appear at a hearing on that pedophile case.” His face clouded. “I was the first one in, so I’m the only one who saw . . .”
Georgie swallowed. “Saw what?”
“What he was doing to her before he pulled a gun from under the pillow and started shooting.” His tone was matter-of-fact, but she saw the truth in his eyes.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Once in court will be plenty. Besides, I’d never want you to have that picture in your mind. Never.”
She reached up to cradle his face in her hands. “You take care of everyone, Nathan Caldwell. Who takes care of you?”
“I’m advertising to fill the position right now. Interested in applying?”
“You make a joke whenever something strikes too close to home.”
“I do?” he asked, seeming genuinely surprised.
“Uh-huh.”
He shrugged. “I don’t need a lot.”
“Everyone needs some.”
Turning his face into her hand, he kissed the palm. “Are you offering?”
“For what it’s worth, I wish I could.”
“It’s worth a lot. What about you? Who takes care of you when you’re in Atlanta?”
Georgie had to think about that.
“Doug the agent?” he asked with a sneer.
She laughed. “Hardly.”
“Then what were you doing with him?”
“He was a distraction.”
“Is that what I am?”
“No, Nathan, you’re a delight.” She shifted her hands from his face to the back of his head, pulling him down to her. Pouring herself into the kiss, she tried to show him, to tell him.
He raised his head to stare at her.
Georgie’s heart thumped in her chest.
“I have to go,” he whispered. “Before I can’t.” Hugging her tight, he touched another light kiss to her lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Thank you for sharing your family with me. It was a wonderful day.”
“My pleasure, sweetheart.” He squeezed her hand and released it. “I’ll wait until you get in.”
Georgie unlocked the door and turned back to him. “Sleep well.”
“Not likely,” he said with that irresistible smile.
From inside, she watched him amble down the stairs to his car. He waved on his way by.
Georgie stood there for a long time wondering why she had let the best thing that had ever happened to her leave.
She trudged up the stairs with a heavy heart. While she had succeeded in putting most of her worries aside during the day with Nathan, they all came back down on her the minute she was alone in the big, quiet house.
After being surrounded all afternoon and evening by Nathan’s big, loving family, she was more acutely aware of what was gone from her own life.
She wondered if Tess had given in to temptation and slept with Ben.
They had been awfully cozy by the fire, and Georgie wouldn’t be surprised if Tess didn’t make it home that night.
Cat was at work, but Ian had put Rosie to bed in Kevin’s house and left a short time later.
Georgie had suspected he was going to find Cat.
Wound up and frustrated after sending Nathan home, Georgie decided to do some more work in her mother’s room. She changed into the boxers and cami she slept in and put her hair up in a high ponytail. She taped together another box and took it in with her.
The room was so quiet, almost eerily quiet, that she flipped on her mother’s bedside radio and brought the jewelry box over to the bed.
She sat to go through the mostly costume pieces, again making a small pile of things to keep for herself and Ali and a larger pile to get rid of.
A few of the pins brought back memories of Christmases and Halloweens past. Long after Georgie and Ali had given up trick-or-treating, their mother had still dressed up to hand out candy to the neighborhood kids.
Inside a velvet box, she found her grandmother’s engagement ring and realized she needed to add it to the list of valuables she had to bring to probate court on Tuesday. At some point, she and Ali would have to decide what to do about all the valuables, including the house.
At the bottom of the jewelry box, she found a false bottom that she lifted to make sure she hadn’t missed anything.
Two pieces of paper were folded into the small space.
One was addressed to Ali, the other to her.
Georgie opened hers to find a key taped to the bottom and her mother’s familiar handwriting.
My darling Georgie,
If you’ve found this, then you’ve reached the point where you feel strong enough to go through my things. I’m so sorry for all I put you and your sister through the last few months, but having you both here with me brought me such joy in my final days.
By now you’ve probably discovered there’s not much of any value among my things.
As you well know, I was never one for fancy clothes or jewelry.
The things I valued most in my life couldn’t be paid for with money or worn on a finger.
You, my darling child, you and your sister were the ones I cherished above all others. You were the loves of my life.
Georgie held the letter aside when she was so blinded by tears she could no longer see through them to read. A few minutes passed before she could work up the courage to continue.
When I look back over my life, I have few regrets.
But the ones I do have are not insignificant.
I regret that I smothered you, that when you went far away to college you never came home again because you knew if you did you’d never truly be independent from me.
I’m sorry it took me so long to let go, and I’m sorry you felt you had to go so far away—and stay there so long—to make your own way.
I’m proud of you, Georgie. Truly proud of the caring, compassionate, independent, successful woman you grew up to be.
Since I’m not around for you to kill, I suppose it’s time to confess that I’ve been planning your wedding in my mind for years.
Upstairs in the attic you’ll find my wedding dress hanging in one of the garment bags.
I have little hope that it’ll suit your finely tuned sense of style (how you came by that with me as your mother is anyone’s guess!), but it’s yours if you’d like to wear it or alter it to suit you.
My feelings won’t be hurt (even in heaven) if you wear something of your own choosing.
Whatever makes you happy makes me happy.
I’ve been squirreling away the money to pay for this big day I dreamed of for you from every paycheck I’ve ever received at the center.
The key below is for a safety deposit box at the credit union.
Inside you’ll find a passbook for an account in your name.
When you’re ready to get married, I hope you’ll use this money to pay for a day that makes all your dreams come true.
Or, if you’d rather, use it as a down payment on a house.
Either way, I hope you’ll think of me and remember always how very much I love you.
Be kind to yourself, follow your heart, put love before everything else, and be happy, Georgie. Be very, very happy, my love. You made my life.
Mom
Georgie’s sobs echoed through the quiet room.
Without taking the time to think about the implications, she crossed the hall to her room and rifled through her purse in search of the note Nathan had written to her after the first night they spent together.
When she found it, she wiped her eyes and used her cell phone to call the number he had given her.
His voice was heavy and sleepy sounding.
“Nathan.”
“Georgie? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
“I . . .” She couldn’t seem to form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence.
“I’m coming. I’ll be right there.”
Before she could protest or remind him he had court in the morning, the phone went dead.