Chapter 27 #2
As they stretched out on the bed together, Tess wondered how to eventually broach the subject of making love with him.
Just being around him made her burn with a kind of desire she had never felt before.
But if he didn’t feel the same way, that was going to be a problem, not to mention a terrible disappointment.
After what she had been through with her ex-husband, she wasn’t going to settle for anything less than everything ever again.
Ben laced his fingers through hers, brought their joined hands to his chest, and was asleep within minutes.
Over the next hour, Tess wondered how he could possibly sleep when they were alone together in an elegant hotel room.
Somehow she had to move this whole thing forward.
But how? What if there was a medical reason he couldn’t have sex, and he was afraid to share that with her?
He knew she was a nurse, so why would he think she wouldn’t understand?
She hated the idea of embarrassing him, but she wanted him, and after her disastrous marriage, she was desperate to know what it was like to really make love.
Her heart ached when she remembered the last time she’d had sex.
Kurt had forced himself on her, and when she resisted, he punched her in the ribs, breaking two of them.
She shuddered at the horrible memory. But this wasn’t the time for such thoughts, not when the man she loved was right here next to her. This was the time for action.
Raising herself up on one elbow, she watched him sleep for several more minutes before she leaned over to press soft kisses to his belly.
He tensed, squeezed her hand, and then settled back into sleep.
No way, mister! She added her tongue to the mix, dragging it in lazy circles through the thatch of hair that trailed off into his pants.
Even though his breathing stayed steady, she was fascinated to watch him become aroused.
Do I dare? She bit her lip as she studied his adorable face.
Yes, I do. Moving very carefully, she unbuttoned his pants, slid the zipper down, and reached in to wrap her hand around him.
While Tess held her breath and hoped her heart wouldn’t leap right out of her throat, he only sighed in his sleep. Was he for real? This was clearly going to require radical action. She moved closer and took him into her mouth.
He awoke with a start. “Tess. Jesus Christ, what’re you doing?”
That he sounded mad didn’t deter her. She moved her tongue over the sensitive head, and he sucked in a sharp deep breath.
It was all she could do not to smile when she realized she had him.
Pushing at his clothes to gain better access, she moved her hand in time with her mouth, drawing him in and then backing off slowly.
She ventured a glance up at him and found him watching her intently, his eyes narrowed with desire and something else.
What was that? Later, she thought. I’ll worry about that later.
Keeping up the steady pressure of her mouth and hand, she put everything else out of her mind and focused only on bringing him as much pleasure as she could.
“Tess,” he said through gritted teeth.
She felt the change in his breathing, knew he was close, and redoubled her efforts.
With his fingers in her hair, he tried to warn her, but she didn’t back off. He came with a restrained groan that was more reluctant than rapturous. When she tried to move up to kiss his belly, he turned away from her.
Stunned and frightened, she stared at his back.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” he finally said.
“Why not?” she cried. “I love you! I want to make love with you.”
“I can’t.”
“Of course you can. You just did.”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what, Ben? Is it me? Do you not want me?”
“No, honey,” he said with an ironic chuckle. “That’s not it. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.” He shifted onto his back and reached for her.
Resting her head on his chest, she studied him. “Then tell me what’s wrong. I want to understand. Is it your leg?”
“Yes.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Always.”
“We can work around it. I’m not going to hurt you, Ben.”
“I know.” His cheek pulsed with tension. “It’s just that it’s . . .”
And right in that moment she finally got it. “You don’t want me to see it, do you?” She realized she had never seen him in anything other than long pants, even on the hottest of days.
“It’s horrible, Tess.” His eyes filled. “Totally disgusting.”
“And you think that matters to me?”
“It matters to me.”
She sat up.
“Where’re you going?”
“Right here.” She raised her skirt, turned her leg, and showed him her scars. “Do you think I’m proud of these?”
He lifted himself up for a closer look. “How the hell did that happen?”
“I got burned.”
“By what?”
“A cigar.”
His head whipped up, his eyes met hers, and what she saw there told her everything she would ever need to know about him.
“Someone did this to you.”
“Yes.”
He shook his head, and when tears filled his eyes, he covered his face with his hand. “I can’t hear this. The thought of someone hurting you on purpose . . .”
“I didn’t tell you to upset you, and it’s the last thing in the world I want to talk about right now.
” She took him by the shoulders, pressed him down on the bed, and straddled him while being careful to steer clear of his injured leg.
“I have scars, too, Ben. Yours won’t make me love you any less.
Nothing could. Do mine make you love me less? ”
“No,” he said emphatically. “They make me want to kill someone.”
She smiled. “How about you use that energy more productively?”
His hands found her hips and then moved up her back to bring her down for a kiss. “I love you,” he whispered against her lips. “I never dreamed in a million years that I would find you.”
“Well, now that you have, whatever will you do with me?” she asked with a teasing smile.
“Everything—as long as you promise not to look.”
“I won’t look. We’ll need condoms. A lot of them.”
“Am I going to survive this?” he joked.
She laughed and kissed him with all the joy and love she felt in that moment.
“Nate stuck a box in my bag as I was leaving.”
“I knew I loved him.”
“He’s such a dad. I swear to God. He drives me nuts.”
“Except that he saved us the trouble of having to go buy them right now.”
“That’s true. Maybe he’s not so bad after all.”
“Mmm,” Tess agreed as she kissed her way down the front of him. Keeping her promise not to look, she removed his pants and quickly covered his injured leg with the sheet.
The relief on his face was palpable, as she had known it would be when she eliminated his worries from the equation. As she lifted her dress up and over her head, she didn’t want him thinking of anything but her.
“Come here,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion and desire.
She stretched out on top of him.
He hooked an arm around her neck to bring her in for a sizzling kiss while using his other hand to unhook her bra.
“Very impressive,” she whispered as he moved her up so he could reach her breasts. “And you thought you’d lost your moves.”
“It took finding you to get them back,” he said, drawing her nipple into his mouth while brushing his thumb over her other breast.
Tess looked down to find him gazing up at her. “Where’d you say those condoms are?”
He directed her to a zipped pocket in his bag. When she returned to the bed, she shimmied out of her panties and rolled a condom on him.
Being careful not to go anywhere near his injured leg, she straddled him and took him in slowly.
He sighed as his fingers caressed her thighs and came to rest on the series of circular scars.
Tess rolled her hips to take him deeper and looked down to find him watching her with eyes full of love. “Good?” she asked.
“So good. You?”
“Mmm,” she said with a smile. “Anything hurt?”
He shook his head, reached for her hands, and held on tight as she began to move faster. “Tess, honey, what do you need?”
“Only this.”
Using his good leg for leverage, he moved with her and drove her up so fast, she had no time to prepare for the powerful orgasm that crashed through her. With his hands on her hips, he anchored her, surged into her one last time, and went with her.