Chapter 18
Eighteen
With the notable exception of the still-euphoric Chip and Elise, a quiet group left the Duffy’s home to catch the three thirty ferry leaving Block Island that Sunday afternoon.
Other than a gracious goodbye and thank you to Ted’s parents and grandparents, Caroline hadn’t said a word to any of them before they left the house.
This time she squeezed into the front seat with Elise rather than sit on Smitty’s lap.
The tearful goodbye with his mother and grandmother had left Ted feeling sad.
He didn’t get to spend as much time with them as he would like to these days, but they would be back in Boston after Labor Day.
I need to make a point of seeing Grandy and Grampa at least once a week from now on. They’re not going to live forever.
He glanced over at Smitty who stared intently out the window on his side of the car. He and Caroline must’ve had a fight. Good timing in light of what she’s going to tell him when they get home. By the time this day is over, she’ll be free, but he’ll be heartbroken.
Smitty’s behavior at the pool had rattled Ted—not just because he had wanted to scream at the sight of another man’s hands on the woman he now thought of as his. No, it was more than that. Smitty’s demonstration had given Ted the chance to see for himself how deep Smitty’s feelings for her were.
The thought of his friend being hurt bothered Ted, but not quite as much as the thought of her being in bed with Smitty had bothered him.
He was dying to know what had transpired between them when they returned to the house from the pool, but he would have to wait to find out until she called him later.
On the ferry ride back to the mainland, Chip and Elise stood by the rail whispering and giggling.
Caroline pretended to be engrossed in a book, Smitty went downstairs to the bar, Parker tipped his head back and went to sleep, and Ted took advantage of the opportunity to gaze at Caroline when no one was paying attention to him.
Ten minutes before the ferry landed, an announcement called the car owners down to the freight dock. The New York contingent stood up and gathered their belongings. With quick hugs for Ted and Parker and murmurs of “good time,” “thanks for having us,” and “see you next weekend,” they were gone.
Four hours back to the city and an hour to talk to Smitty. Ted checked his watch. I should hear from her by nine thirty, ten at the latest. Five hours.
Smitty offered to drive, which is how Caroline ended up in the passenger seat listening to Chip and Elise whisper and kiss in the back seat.
This is going to be a long four hours. Smitty had ignored her since the incident in the bedroom, which was fine with her.
As she glanced over at him to find his face expressionless and his eyes fixed on the road, she couldn’t believe what had happened earlier.
He had been like someone she had never met before and bore no resemblance to the generous, thoughtful man she had come to know.
She couldn’t imagine what had gotten into him.
She rehearsed what she needed to say to him.
It’s been a lot of fun. I’m so glad I met you, but this isn’t working out.
I hope we can still be friends. Her stomach fluttered with nerves as she imagined his reaction to hearing that.
And then she thought of Ted, and the knowledge they would be together again in two weeks was enough to sustain her through whatever might happen with Smitty.
That’s what I need to do. I need to focus on Ted and my feelings for him. That will get me through this. He’ll be there for me when it’s done. I wish I were with him right now.
With a deep sigh, she eased her head back against the headrest and drifted off to sleep to pass the endless time in the car.
The ride back to Boston was marked by quiet, as well. Ted’s mind raced as he relived the events of the weekend. He was filled with anxiety as he thought about Caroline breaking up with Smitty. Ted wanted that part done for everyone’s sake.
“What’s going on, Duff?” Parker asked about thirty minutes after they left Point Judith.
“Nothing. Why?”
“I’ve known you a long time, man. Something’s up.”
“I could say the same thing to you. Smitty asked me yesterday if I know anything about a girl you’re interested in. Something you said to him the other night has him wondering what’s going on with you.”
“How’d this get turned around on me? We were talking about you.”
“Well, now we’re talking about you.”
“There’s not much to tell. I’m interested in someone, but I don’t really want to get into it just yet.”
“Who is she?” Ted asked, relieved to have something else to think about besides his own situation.
“Someone I met through work.”
“Does she like you, too?”
Parker shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“Well, when are you going to find out?”
“In four days.”
“What’s in four days?”
“The one-year anniversary of her divorce.”
“She’s a client?”
“Ex-client.”
“Tell me,” Ted urged.
Parker glanced over at him and appeared to be debating whether he should say more. “I’m afraid to jinx myself.”
“Well, cross your fingers or something. But you have to tell me.”
Parker laughed. “What kind of stupid superstition is that?”
“Old Irish folklore.”
Parker raised a hand, crossed his fingers, and told Ted about Gina.
When he was done, Ted took his eyes off the road long enough to stare at his friend. “You’ve been in love with this woman for two years, and you’ve never said anything to us?”
Parker shrugged. “There was no point in talking about it when there was nothing I could do about it. Her divorce was ugly—as bad as it gets. She needed time to get her life back on track before she could think about being with someone else.”
“But you’ve dated other people in the last two years.”
“Just to kill time. I didn’t sleep with any of them.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“Nope.”
“Holy shit, you’ve got it bad! If I were you I wouldn’t wait one more day to contact her.”
“I’ve waited this long. Four more days won’t matter.”
“Parker, come on! This isn’t the nineteenth century. Chivalry only goes so far. What if you’ve already waited too long?”
“Believe me, I’ve had a lot of sleepless nights over that very possibility, but something tells me that giving her the full year was the right thing to do. I’m in the home stretch now anyway.”
Ted sighed. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“I have no idea what I’m doing. I just know what I feel when she’s in the room, and it’s something I want to feel every day for the rest of my life.”
Ted knew exactly what Parker meant.
“It’s like Chip said the other night, we all want what your parents and grandparents have had. Is that too much to ask for?”
“No,” Ted said. “No one should settle for anything less than everything.”
“Exactly. Now, are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?”
Oh, how I wish I could. I’d love nothing more than to unload on you, but I won’t put you in that position, Parker. “For the first time, I’m dreading going to work tomorrow,” Ted said, voicing a thought that had been on his mind lately.
“Why?”
“Up until recently, I’ve been able to deal with all the highs and lows, but the lows have been hitting harder and lasting longer than they used to. I’m starting to wonder if I might be burned out or something.”
“I’m surprised it’s taken this long.”
“Sometimes it’s hard to have perspective when you’re in the midst of it,” Ted continued. “My boss is sending me to a conference on grief and loss for physicians in a couple of weeks at Sloan Kettering. You know you’re in trouble when you think you could actually benefit from that bullshit.”
“Well, at least you can get away for a couple of days and have some fun while you’re in New York.”
“Yeah.”
“Listen, Duff. Just because your father and grandfather stuck with pediatric oncology for their entire careers doesn’t mean you have to. I know you worry about letting them down, but this your life. You have to do what’s best for you.”
“You’re right, their opinions do factor in even if I wish they didn’t.
I’m going to give it some thought over the next few months and see what develops.
I don’t want to give one patient too much credit or blame, but losing Joey was a blow.
It was like something in me kind of shut down after that.
And in my line of work, being emotionally removed isn’t a luxury I can afford. ”
“You’ve had a bad month, and it’s probably best not to do anything rash right now.”
“I know. I need to ride it out for a while until things are more normal and I can think clearly.”
“That’s a good idea. You love that job, Duff. It’s getting you down right now, but I think you’d regret it if you walked away without giving it careful consideration.”
“I know I would.”
“Well, I’m here if you need to vent.”
“And I’m going to be dying to know what happens when Gina gets those flowers.”
“Me, too,” Parker said with a sigh. “Me, too.”
Smitty pulled up to Caroline’s building right at ten o’clock. Traffic in Connecticut and on the New England Thruway had added an hour to an already interminable ride. Chip and Elise got out of the backseat and helped Smitty and Caroline retrieve their bags.
Chip shook hands with Smitty. “See you Friday, if not before.”
“Sounds good.”
Caroline hugged Elise. “Congratulations again. I want to hear all about the wedding plans.”
“Oh, you will. Don’t worry.”
Chip and Elise got back in the car and pulled into traffic, leaving Smitty and Caroline standing on the sidewalk.
She looked up at him. “I want to ask you to come in because we need to talk, but after what happened earlier I don’t know if I want you in my house.”
“I’m sorry about that. I was totally out of line, and I apologize.”
She eyed him warily. “All right, then. Come on in.”
Smitty carried their bags and her crutches up the stairs to the brownstone where she rented the first floor.
She unlocked the door and flipped on the lights.
He dropped his two bags next to the door. “Where do you want these?” he asked, holding her bags.
“Right there is fine, thanks. I’ll take care of them later. Do you want something to drink?”
“No, I’m good.”
After a moment of awkward silence she turned to him. “Smitty—”
“Caroline—”
“Go ahead.” She twisted her hands. “You go first.”
“I really am sorry about what happened before. There’s no excuse for that kind of behavior. No excuse at all. I hope you’ll forgive me.” He looked down, and his foot nudged at the edge of the faded oriental carpet that covered the wood floor.
“I do forgive you.”
He slanted his eyes back up to meet hers. “I think we both know this isn’t working.”
She stared at him in amazement. He was breaking up with her? For real? After the way he’d acted earlier at the pool?
“I’ve had a really great time with you, but I think it’s run its course, don’t you?”
Astounded, Caroline stared at him. “If that’s how you feel,” she sputtered, “what was with that whole alpha male act at the pool today?”
He shrugged. “I was just enjoying the time we had left on Block Island. I can’t believe you’re surprised. I haven’t exactly been feeling the love from you the last week or two.”
“See, that’s the thing. I’d kind of been feeling it from you. The love that is.”
He snorted. “Sweetheart, you’re a great girl, and we’ve had some fun times, but that’s all it was. Fun. I’m sorry if you read more into it than that.”
Thrown, Caroline said, “No need to be sorry. It was fun, and I enjoyed being with you. Very much. I hope we can still be friends.”
“Sure we can. I’m going to be out of the country for a month, maybe two. When I get back we can go for a drink or something.”
“Where are you going?” she asked, confused. What’s going on here?
“My partners asked me to go to Sydney to check out a company we want to acquire that’s headquartered there. I didn’t want to say anything about it until after the Duffys’ party.”
“You haven’t told the guys?”
He shook his head. “You’re the first to know. I’d been putting off going because it’s summer and we’ve got the house in Newport. But they told me Thursday they want me there within the week. I didn’t want to get everyone wound up about it this weekend.”
Caroline was reeling. “Will you let me know you got there safely?”
“I can do that. So what did you want to say?
“Nothing.” She took a step toward him. “It doesn’t matter now.”
He leaned in to kiss her cheek. “Take care.”
“You, too.”
He picked up his bags at the door and turned back to look at her one last time but didn’t say anything more.
After the door had closed quietly behind him, Caroline dropped into the closest chair. What the hell just happened here?