Chapter 35
Thirty-Five
They spent most of the next day at the hospital where Lillian was sleeping for longer stretches and was less lucid when awake.
After he and his father consulted with her doctor around noon, Ted said, “I don’t know if Smitty’s going to make it.”
Caroline put her arms around him from behind. “She said she’d wait for him and she will.”
Ted clutched her hands. “As much as I want him here because he belongs here, I’m worried about seeing him. He’s going to freak when he hears we’re married.”
“He’s had a week to get used to the idea of us as a couple.”
“That’s not long enough, baby. He’s going to be shocked to hear we’re married. Everyone is.”
“I’ll be very surprised if he says a word about it with your grandmother being as sick as she is. He’s going to know this isn’t the time or the place.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
Parker, Chip, and Elise came in late that afternoon, and after they had exchanged hugs with Ted’s parents and sister, Ted took them in to see Lillian and Theo. Since the small room was getting crowded, Ted stepped into the hallway to wait for them.
Elise came out first, wiping away tears as she hugged Ted. “Are you doing all right?”
“I’m hanging in there.”
“If there’s anything I can do for you—any of you—I hope you won’t hesitate to ask.”
“Thanks, Elise.”
“Um, congratulations. On the wedding and everything.”
“Thank you,” Ted said, touched by her support.
Parker and Chip came out of Lillian’s room a minute later.
“Thanks for coming, you guys.” Ted noticed Chip fixating on his new wedding ring.
“Do you need anything?” Parker asked.
“No, we’re good,” Ted said.
Chip put his arm around Elise. “Well, we’re going to get going.”
“Okay.” Ted hid his disappointment at the brevity of their visit. “I know my grandfather appreciates you coming.”
Chip nodded and escorted Elise down the long corridor. She looked back over her shoulder and blew Ted a kiss.
“He’s pissed,” Ted said to Parker.
“What did you expect?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never been in a situation like this before, so I don’t know what to expect.”
“I think you know exactly what to expect.”
“So you too, huh?”
Parker’s shrug was weary. “I don’t know what I am. I’m doing my best to keep an open mind, but I’ve got to be honest with you. It isn’t easy.”
“Parker . . .”
Parker held up his hand. “You’ve got enough on your plate right now. We’ll talk about this later. Call me if there’s anything I can do. I mean that.”
“Thanks. Are you getting Smitty in the morning?”
“Yeah.”
“Will you, I mean, can you . . .”
“Prepare him for what he’s going to find here?”
Chagrinned, Ted nodded.
“Of course I will. Do you think I’d let him discover you’ve married his ex-girlfriend when he sees the ring on your finger?”
The shaft of pain surprised Ted and sent him reeling.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Parker said.
After he had walked away, Ted leaned back against the wall and hung his head, struggling to absorb the blow. When he looked up he found his grandfather watching him through the window. Ted managed a small smile for the old man.
Caroline came to find Ted a short time later.
“Did they leave?” Ted asked.
“A few minutes ago.”
“Were they nice to you?”
“Elise was. Parker and Chip kept their distance.”
“Same here. If everything were normal, they would’ve been here all day.”
She put her arms around him. “I’m sorry, honey. Maybe with time . . .”
Ted pulled free of her embrace. “I need some air.”
“Want me to come with you?”
“No,” he said with an absent kiss to her forehead. “I need a minute, okay?”
“Sure.”
His shoulders were stooped as Caroline watched him go.
“I take it his visit with the boys didn’t go too well.”
Caroline turned to find Theo behind her. “No, not so well.”
“He’s going to need you in the next few days, Caroline. Maybe more than he’ll ever need you again.”
“He’s got me. I’m just afraid he’s not going to let me in. After all, I’m the cause of this. I’ve come between him and his friends.”
“You’re his wife now. How that came to be is almost secondary at this point, wouldn’t you say?”
Caroline thought about that for a minute. “Yes, I guess it is.”
“My Lil knew what she was doing,” Theo said with a proud smile. “Yes, she did.”
“What do you mean?”
“She figured if you were married it would be a lot harder to walk away from each other when the going got tough. And it’s going to get tough, Caroline.
Really, really tough and maybe for quite some time.
So Lil made sure you two got half a chance.
The other half is going to be up to you and your husband. ”
Caroline smiled. “Crafty.”
“Yes, she sure is. I’ve always loved that about her.” His eyes filled when he glanced into Lillian’s room.
She rested a hand on the old man’s arm. “Are you all right?”
“Sixty-five years,” he sighed. “How do you say goodbye after sixty-five years?”
“I don’t know.” Caroline brushed at the tears that suddenly wet her cheeks. “I can’t imagine how you do that.”
“It doesn’t just happen, you know.” He shifted his eyes back to Caroline. “Finding someone you love is only the start. The rest takes hard work. Every single day. Even the first day. Go find him. Make sure he knows he’s not alone anymore.”
Caroline hugged him. “I feel very lucky to have a grandfather-in-law who’s so wise and a grandmother-in-law who’s so crafty.”
Theo grinned as he kissed her cheek. “We’re happy to have you, honey. Now, go find your husband.”
Caroline worked to compose herself in the elevator but couldn’t seem to stop the flood of tears as the past few emotional days caught up to her all at once.
Theo’s grief had made her see how trivial her problems were in comparison, and she summoned the strength to support Ted. Theo was right. Her husband needed her.
She found him on a bench outside the hospital’s main door. Bent over, leaning on his knees, he looked so sad and alone that Caroline ached for him. Sitting down next to him she laid her arm on his back.
He seemed almost startled to see her.
She eased him over to rest against her. “It’s all right, baby,” she whispered. “I’ve got you.”
After a somber second night at the Ritz during which Ted didn’t sleep at all, they packed their bags so they could get back to the hospital.
When she found him staring into space in the middle of the elegant parlor, Caroline put her arms around him.
She was alarmed at the distance he had put between them since his friends had visited the hospital the day before.
Reaching up to smooth the blond hair off his forehead, she couldn’t miss the far-away look in his blue eyes. “Honey?”
He looked down at her, his distraction apparent.
“Hey.” She gave him a little shake. “Are you with me?”
“Yeah.”
“I know you’re worried about seeing Smitty and about your grandmother, but no matter what this day brings, I’m right here with you, okay?”
He nodded.
“Do you remember what you said to me the other night about sticking together and fighting our way through this?”
“Yes.”
“It’s time to fight.”
“Okay.”
“I love you with my whole heart, Ted Duffy.”
He clutched her hands and kissed her. “I love you, too.”
“Stay focused on that today.”
“I’ll try.”
They were in the hallway heading for the elevator when Caroline gasped. “Oh my God! We left our list in the room!”
He withdrew the key from his pocket and handed it to her.
She came back a minute later holding the piece of paper to her chest. “I would’ve been heartbroken if we had forgotten this.”
“We could’ve made another one.”
“It wouldn’t have been the same,” she said, adding with a teasing smile, “We never got to number nine last night.”
“I’m sorry. I just wasn’t in the mood.”
“I know. I was only kidding.” When she realized she wasn’t going to be able to cajole him out of his funk, she decided to stop trying.
Parker missed Gina when he woke up without her after having her next to him the last two mornings.
He was going to have to convince her to marry him so he could wake up with her every day.
Before they could take the next step, though, he had to meet her sons.
He hoped that could happen soon so they could get busy becoming a family.
A family. Parker wondered why the idea didn’t horrify him nearly as much as it should have. You’re a mess, man.
He moved quietly through the house so he wouldn’t disturb Chip and Elise, who were sleeping in one of his extra bedrooms. He had prepared another room for Smitty the night before.
Parker downed a quick cup of coffee before he left for Logan Airport to meet Smitty’s flight.
His stomach clenched with nerves over what he had to tell his friend.
Lucky me. I really got stuck with the short straw in this situation. Thanks a lot, Duff.
The traffic was light on that Sunday morning, and Parker made it to the airport in fifteen minutes, just before the red-eye from Los Angeles was due to arrive.
He parked and walked into the terminal to wait.
Smitty called twenty minutes later to let Parker know he was on his way down to baggage claim.
Parker honestly felt like he could puke as he waited for Smitty. If it hadn’t been so early he would’ve called Gina for moral support. A few more minutes passed and desperation had him reaching for his phone to call her when he looked up and saw Smitty on the escalator. Here goes nothing.
With a two-day beard and bleary eyes Smitty greeted Parker with one of his signature bear hugs.
“You look like hell,” Parker said.
“I feel like I’ve been on a plane for a month over the last week. How’s Lillian? Please tell me she’s still alive.”
“She’s holding her own.”
A sigh of relief rattled through Smitty’s big frame.
While they waited for his bag, Parker tried to work up the courage to tell Smitty what he needed to know before he went to the hospital.
“Spit it out, Parker. Whatever it is, just tell me.”
Parker glanced up at him but couldn’t get the words out.
Smitty kept his eyes on Parker. “Tell me.”
“They got married.”
Smitty’s eyebrows knitted with confusion. “Who did?”
“Ahhh, Duff and Caroline. They’re married.”
“Married.”
Parker nodded. “Smitty, listen—”
“I don’t want to hear another word. Not one more word.” He grabbed his bag off the carrousel. “Let’s go. I need to see Lillian.”
Smitty and Parker came in through the ICU door thirty minutes later, and Smitty made a beeline for Mitzi without so much as a glance at Ted or Caroline.
Mitzi enveloped him in a tight hug. “Come on, darling,” she said, leading him down the hallway.
At the door to Lillian’s room, Mitzi stopped and turned to him. “I know this is going to be upsetting for you, but she’s not in any pain, and she’s saying she’s ready. She’ll be very happy to see you.”
Smitty kept a tight grip on Mitzi’s hand as tears tumbled from his raw eyes.
“Come here, honey.” Mitzi reached for him and wiped the tears off his face. “Go ahead.”
Smitty stepped into the room.
Theo got up to greet him with a hug. “Thank you so much for coming.” He leaned over to gently nudge Lillian awake. “Sweetheart, Smitty’s here to see you. He’s come all the way from Australia.”
“Smitty,” Lillian whispered. “Theo help me sit up a little.” After he had raised the bed she said, “Will you give us a few minutes, my love?”
Theo kissed her forehead. “Of course. I’ll be right outside if you need me.”
When they were alone, Lillian turned to Smitty. “You look exhausted, honey.”
Smitty broke down. “I was so afraid I wouldn’t get here in time.”
“I told you I’d wait for you,” she said weakly.
“I should’ve had more faith in you,” he teased through his tears.
“That’s right.” She squeezed his hand as she studied him. “Your heart is heavy and not just because your favorite old girl is about to check out.”
“I don’t want to waste the time we have together talking about that.”
“Honey, why do you think I asked you to come? I never would’ve put you through such an emotional journey if I didn’t have something important I needed to say to you.”
Smitty took a deep breath hoping to somehow manage the riot of emotions.
“I want you to do something for me, but mostly I want you to do it for yourself.” She kept her eyes trained on him. “I want you to forgive him.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“If you don’t, the bitterness will poison you. Your friendship may never be the same, but if you carry this around with you it’ll eat away at you and keep you from finding happiness of your own.”
“Lill—”
“You have to find a way.”
“I only just found out they’re married half an hour ago. I’m not feeling very forgiving at the moment.”
“They got married because I asked them to. They were going to anyway. I just pushed things along a little.” She paused to take a deep, wracking breath.
“I know it was terribly selfish of me, but I wanted to see my Ted married before I left him. I wish I was going to live long enough to see the same thing for you.”
“I don’t think it’s going to happen for me.”
“It will. I know it will, but you have to make room for it. If your heart is going to be open to receiving love, it can’t be full of anger and bitterness.”
“I know you love him, Lillian, but he’s done a terrible thing to me. You’re asking a lot of me.”
“I’m not saying you have to forgive him today. But eventually.” Her face lit up with a coy smile. “I’m on my deathbed, so I could make you promise me . . .”
“You wouldn’t do that to me.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” she said with a fading twinkle in her eye.
“You’re a wonderful, kind, generous man, Smitty.
You deserve a woman who has eyes only for you.
Caroline wasn’t that woman, and while I’m sorry you had to find that out the way you did, it’s better now than later.
There’s someone out there just for you, and she’ll see everything I see when I look at you. ”
He attempted a smile. “I met a woman in Sydney this week who seems to think I’m pretty cool.”
“Then she must be a smart girl.”
“She is.”
“I’ll be watching over you.”
New tears coursed down his face as he kissed her hand. “Thank you for showing me what a real family is and for being my family. I love you.”
“And I love you. Be good to yourself.”
He leaned over the bedrail to hug her and dissolved into sobs.
Mitzi finally came in and eased him up. With her arms around him, she led him from the room and held him until he had collected himself.
He swiped impatiently at tears that refused to quit. “Will you understand if I can’t stay here and wait with you?”
“Of course,” Mitzi said.
“We’re all at Parker’s.”
“I’ll call you,” she said. “It was very, very good of you to come. It seemed important to her that she see you.”
“It was.”
She escorted him back to where Parker waited for him.
Ted stood up and came to the door of the waiting room. “Smitty—”
“Are you ready to go, Parker?” Smitty asked.
“Sure.” Parker kissed Mitzi’s cheek. “Call us if there’s anything you need.”
“I will.”