Chapter 26 #2
“What was that about?”
“I went to see Blaise Merrick.”
“What? Why would you do that?”
“I did it for you! If she doesn’t testify, this whole thing goes away!”
“Who called?”
“The guy from the AG’s office. That Spurling fellow. He said what I did is technically considered witness tampering, and I could be charged if I approach her again.”
I go to her and put my arm around her shoulders. “I appreciate what you were trying to do, but you have to stay out of it. It’s bad enough without us making it worse. Remember what happened when Dad confronted Captain Sutton? We don’t need more trouble.”
“We have to do something! We can’t let that woman ruin your life.”
“She’s not the one who ruined my life. I did that, Mom.”
She turns to look at me, seeming shocked. “What’re you saying? You never went near that girl!”
“Yes, I did, and apparently Blaise witnessed it.”
“No. You wouldn’t have done that.”
“I did do it, and I’ve hated myself for it ever since.”
She pulls back from me. “What?”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I hate that I’m putting you through this again.”
In barely a whisper, she says, “You attacked that girl.”
“Yes.”
She shakes her head as her eyes fill.
I take a step toward her.
“No. No.”
Giving me a disgusted look, she leaves the room.
I watch her go with a sinking feeling. I shouldn’t have told her. If they kick me out of here, I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m sick over what I’m putting my family through. Every time I think of that night, I’m filled with revulsion and regret.
Not that it matters now. Who cares if I regret it? Who cares if I’ve wished every day since that I could go back and undo the hideous thing I did to someone who’d never done anything to me?
I pick up the phone to call Cam. I’m almost surprised when he takes the call. “I, uh…I think I’ll plead guilty, so I don’t drag you all through the mud of a trial.”
“If you do that, you’ll never see your kids again.”
I close my eyes as the pain of that possibility sears me. “What else can I do, Cam? Maybe they’ll go easier on me if I express a willingness to own what I did.”
“It’s a huge risk. I’m working on getting you a better lawyer. Bennett is good, but you need someone with more experience with this kind of thing. Wait to hear from me before you do something that can’t be undone.”
“I told Mom the truth.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because she went to talk to Blaise Merrick and then received a call from the AG’s office telling her witness tampering is a crime.”
“Holy hell. What was she thinking?”
“She was trying to protect me. I told her the truth, so she’d stop doing that.”
“Don’t tell anyone else.”
“Why not? It’s the truth.”
“Ryder… Do you want my help or not?”
“I do.”
“Then take my advice and keep your mouth shut. Don’t talk to anyone and tell her not to tell Dad.
God only knows what he’d do with that info.
If the AG subpoenas Mom, she has to testify truthfully or land in jail if she’s found to be lying.
You’ve just given her information she didn’t have before, which is now a legal burden to her. Don’t tell anyone else.”
“I don’t want to put the family through a trial.”
“Wait until you have proper representation before you do anything. I’ll be back to you soon.”
The line goes dead before I can thank him for his help.
I hate the tension between us. We worked long and hard to get our relationship back on track after I initially confessed to him.
I put a burden on him, too, with that information.
I’d catch him watching me at various times, as if trying to reconcile how I could’ve done such a vile thing after being raised to respect women and girls, to protect and honor them.
I wish I had the answer to the question of why I did what I did, but I don’t, and I never will.
Right before Caroline and I were married, I tried therapy for a while as I was struggling to deal with the lie I’d told my future wife, not to mention the guilt over what I’d done to an innocent young woman in a moment of evil madness.
Without fully confessing to the therapist, I made him understand I’d done something terrible that I deeply regretted and was having trouble living with it.
He talked to me about making amends to the people I’d hurt, which wasn’t possible in this situation.
But I wish it was. I wish I could tell Neisy that what I did was despicable and wrong, and if I had it to do over again, I never would’ve gone near her that night. However, if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that there’re no do-overs in life.
I hope the lawyer Cam is talking to calls soon. I want to take a plea to get this over with for my loved ones—and myself.
Maybe if I confess to my crimes and accept my punishment, I’ll have a prayer of seeing my kids again someday.
My cell has been ringing off the hook with calls from media who want a statement about my suspended congressional campaign and the criminal charges. I’ve ignored every one of them.
I get a text from Cam. Take the call from the 617 area code.
The phone rings half a minute later with a 617 number.
“Hello?”
“Ryder Elliott?”
“Yes.”
“This is Bridget Doyle. I’m a defense attorney. Is this a good time to talk?”
“It is.” I run my fingers through my hair as the sleepless nights suddenly catch up to me in a wave of exhaustion.
“Your brother briefed me on your situation.”
“They have a very strong case.”
“They do, but there’re things we can do to fight back.”
“If those things include besmirching the reputations of the victim or the witnesses, that’s a nonstarter for me. I’d like to discuss a plea.”
“I’ll contact the prosecutor.”
“You aren’t going to try to talk me out of it?”
“Not if you’re unwilling to mount a full-throated defense. There isn’t much I can do for you without that. I’ll reach out to them and get back to you.”
“Thank you.”
I put down the phone as despair and exhaustion come at me from all sides.
Cam calls a few minutes later. “How’d it go?”
“She’s going to talk to them about me pleading guilty.”
“That’s it? You aren’t going to fight it?”
“Not if it means going after Neisy and Blaise, which is what Bridget would do to mount what she called a ‘full-throated’ defense. Besides, how do I fight two eye witnesses?”
“There’s a second one?”
“Ramona Travers saw us leave the party together. After I was charged, she came forward.”
“Oh my God. This gets worse by the minute. Don’t do anything right away. Let the hysteria die down a bit.”
“It won’t change how I feel. I’m choosing not to put myself or my family through a trial that I’ll lose anyway. At least this way, there’ll be some money left for Caroline and the kids.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing to say. The past has caught up with me, and now I have to pay the price.”
“You sound shockingly calm about this.”
“What else can I do?”
“Nothing, I suppose.”
“What’re you hearing about the situation with you guys and the affidavit?”
“I asked Bridget to look to into it.”
“I really hope nothing comes of that.”
“You and me both, brother.”