Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
RHODES
I wasn’t intimidated in the least. In Oakland, this was a normal occurrence. I got ran up on by niggas a few times and had to make believers out of their asses. However, I didn’t want no static with Karima’s family. I only recognized two of them as her younger brothers. The others looked slightly familiar, but I didn’t remember them. This tall muthafucka had to be her uncle though. He sort of resembled her dad.
“That won’t be necessary, Uncle Mayor.”
He didn’t respond to her. I could feel his eyes on me. My eyes were trained on the beautiful pregnant woman in front of me. I didn’t want to feel any other emotion but love and remorse in her presence. She looked back at me, then walked past me. I gave the crowd a last look and followed her outside. They respected her, so I knew I was safe as long as she didn’t “say the word” like he suggested.
She walked through the door then went to the side of the diner. When she turned to me, a frown graced her face. “What are you doing here, Rhodes?”
“I needed to see you,” I said as my eyes dipped to her small bump.
She glanced at it, too, then looked back up at me and said, “Well, you’ve seen me.”
She was about to walk off, but I grabbed her hand and felt the tremble in it. She was trying to play it cool, but she was everything but. I didn’t know if that tremble represented anger or nervousness, but I had to try to appeal to her sensitivity. The last time I’d seen her face, her gun was aimed at my head. This time, her eyes were like daggers aimed directly at my heart.
“Karima, please give me time. Give me an opportunity to prove how remorseful I am. Don’t take destiny away from me. Please, baby. I miss you so much. You know I love you.”
She turned to me and pulled her hand away from mine. “You love me, huh?”
“I do. I know what I did didn’t say love. I’m so sorry.”
“You know why I called you Rosewood?”
I frowned slightly. “The same reason everyone else did. That’s what my name sounded like when said quickly.”
She slowly shook her head. “My reason was different. I could see the beauty inside of you. The woods was your rough exterior. Once I could get past that and the horrible thorns, I could see the roses. As your woman, I should have never been directly exposed to the woods or thorns, Rhodes. When it came to me… when you were dealing with me, I should have only seen the roses. You getting me pregnant was the woods, but your deception was the thorns. They cut me deep, slicing through the feelings I had for you.”
She stepped closer to me and put her hand to my cheek. I knew she wasn’t being endearing by doing that. I was bracing myself for the slap she could inflict.
“I had planned to tell you that I loved you that night. I had fallen in love with you, Rhodes. What you did proved that love really isn’t in the cards for me right now.”
When the tears fell from her eyes, I had to close mine. I grabbed her hand and pulled it from my face and kissed it as she stared at me. Gently wiping her tears away with my free hand, I said, “Damn. I can’t believe I fucked all that up. You were planning to give me everything I’d desired from you. Fuck!”
I released her hand and brought mine to my head and slid them down my face. Her admission really fucked me up.
“Most of all, I’m disappointed. I expected so much better than California Rhodes. I was under the impression that you’d matured. After learning you’d gone to college and gotten two degrees, I thought your personality aligned with that as well. I was so wrong. Let’s just concentrate on our baby that’s coming and creating a healthy coparent environment. Our child is of utmost importance.”
“KD, you are the mother of my child. That makes you just as important. I’m going to be there constantly, making sure you’re okay… making sure you eat… making sure you rest. I want to be a part of the entire process. I really do. I didn’t just want a child. I want you. You are the woman I want, baby.”
She looked away, and I noticed she swallowed hard. This was hard for her. When she turned back to me, another tear slid down her cheek. “I know, Rhodes. I just can’t get past the deceptive part of it all. I realize I got pregnant before I came to the realization that you were the only man I wanted, but one thing I have always been to you, or at least I thought I had always been to you, was a friend. I gotta go. If I’m out here too long, they will come looking for me.”
I grabbed her hand again and slowly pulled her to me to see if she would even be receptive. When she willingly stepped closer, I pulled her in my arms, feeling my body shudder from her touch. “I love you so much. I’m going to do right by you, baby.”
She tried to pull away, and I held her a little tighter before releasing her. After she backed away, she left me standing there and went back inside the diner. She’d fallen in love with me, and my actions kept her from expressing that to me. I literally wanted to disappear. I got inside my truck and sat there for a moment before heading home. I needed to gather my composure, because I was going to stop by my aunt and uncle’s house first. I didn’t need him fucking with me about being soft.
The problem was that I wasn’t soft enough with her. The way she broke down my nickname had me sinking even more. Just as I was about to back out, I saw her heading to her car with a to-go box and her brothers right behind her. She set the box on the hood and hugged them both. She glanced over in my direction, then got in her car. While I wanted to follow her to see where she lived, I figured I had just better head back to Cheek. I’d had enough of today.
After I pulled out, she still ended up in front of me. I had to find a way back in. Then again, it was that desperation that got me in the predicament I was currently in. This time, I needed to just chill and be me. I planned to wine and dine her, buy gifts, and show her attention and affection. The deceptive plans were out. I couldn’t try to force this, or it would backfire in my face all over again.
When she turned at the traffic light, I had to assume she was going to her parents’ house. They lived down that highway. I would be turning at the next traffic signal in China. When I got to it, I ended up in line, waiting to turn. I picked up my phone from the console and texted Karima.
I love you.
Every day she would receive at least that message from me, even if she never responded. I needed her to see me trying. She said she knew that I wanted her, but I could read her very well, so I didn’t ask anything further. Her knowing how badly I wanted her didn’t excuse what I did. I got that loud and clear.
Glancing at the thread, I saw that she’d read it. Hopefully, she wouldn’t choose to block me again. This was going to be an uphill battle, but it was something I was willing to put my all into. I knew that I could convince her to eventually give us another try. She didn’t say it couldn’t be done, so I would cling to that hope.
She didn’t seem angry either. Her hurt was evident through her dark, slanted eyes. Living with myself had been tough the past three months after seeing her tears. Hearing her expressions of hurt was much worse than her anger. I would much rather her curse me out than cry. My phone chimed, and I damn near ran off the road to see if it was Karima.
When I picked it up and saw her name, my heart fluttered. I opened it, only to see she’d sent me an ultrasound picture. As I drove, that fucking Dave Hollister song came on. “Destiny” was the song that said everything I needed to say to her. Although I’d said all these things he talked about in the song, I felt like it would reach her core if she could hear it for herself. I sent it to her, then set my phone near the gear shift.
Once I’d gotten to my aunt’s house, I grabbed it again and stared at the ultrasound picture of our baby. I hoped the baby had her hair, her eyelashes, her drive, her amazing smile, and her loving spirit. I’d been staring at the picture so long I didn’t see my aunt standing at the window until she knocked on it, scaring the shit out of me. I huffed, then turned the engine off and got out.
“So she’s pregnant, huh?” my aunt asked as she glanced at the picture on my phone.
“Yeah.”
“And she still don’t wanna be bothered wit’chu?”
“No. I hurt her so bad, and I could see that shit in her eyes. She fell in love with me and had planned to tell me until she found the condoms. She told me that today. It’s been three months, so I don’t know if she still loves me or not.”
“Did you catch her alone?”
“Naw. Several niggas in her family were around her, at least nine or so. One threatened to make my ass disappear if she ‘said the word,’” I said, holding up air quotes.
“She still loves you then. I’ve heard a lot of shit about those Hendersons, especially the ongoing beef they have with the Andersons.”
“What beef?”
“Shiiiiid, two of her cousins have literally killed a couple of them. That’s the word on the street, anyway. There was plenty of shit that went down back in the day too. So if those niggas didn’t take yo’ ass out, she still loves you. If it took her this long to fall in love with you, I can imagine that it will take just as long for her to fall out of love. Don’t let her, Rhodes. Don’t give her the opportunity.”
“I don’t plan to.”
She took my phone from me, that had the picture on display, and asked, “How far along is she? Did she even plan to tell you?”
“She called me about fifteen minutes before I got there. So she wasn’t going to keep it from me. I hurt her bad though. She just wants us to focus on the baby, but I’d be a fool to not see to her needs as well. She’s like sixteen weeks, I think she said. So she probably got pregnant within that first month.”
She slowly shook her head and handed my phone back to me. “I still can’t believe you did that shit.”
“Me either. It was definitely a complete lapse of judgment. But I can’t say that I’m not happy about her carrying my baby, despite my actions.”
“She’s a good girl, Rhodes.”
“Yeah. You’ve told me multiple times.”
“I have to keep reminding you. It won’t be easy to gain her trust again.”
I nodded then followed her inside the house. Glancing at the picture again, I sent a response to Karima. Thank you. Let me know the day and time of your appointment. I really want to go. I moved back btw. I’m sure you figured that out by now.
She probably didn’t give a fuck that I’d moved back. However, now that I knew she was having my baby, I knew I’d made the right decision by coming back. There was no way I would want to live that far away from my baby… or her, whether she was mine or not. She didn’t know it, but she had me for life. Then again, maybe she did.