Chapter 1
Shannon
Present Day
The flashy, unfamiliar car in the driveway should’ve tipped me off.
Sadly, I was too busy fretting about being on time to pay the shiny black Range Rover much attention.
I was a little obsessive about my time keeping.
Arriving right on time was late as far as I was concerned.
I needed to be places at least fifteen minutes early to allow for unforeseen circumstances.
A little out of breath from the brisk walk, not to mention rosy cheeked from the evening chill, I glanced at my watch and noted we were five minutes early. I exhaled in relief. Not my usual fifteen minutes, but it would do.
This was the street I grew up on, and the house where I lived out my lonely existence as the only child of two workaholic lawyers was right next door.
A nice family lived there now, the haphazardly strewn kids’ bikes and blooming wildflower beds out front belied a far warmer atmosphere than the one I’d grown up in.
No, all my happy memories had happened right here in the Fields’ house, where my eight-year-old daughter Zara’s grandparents, Jay and Matilda, lived.
Zara was the reason I could never hate my ex-husband, the world famous front man and lead guitarist of Astro, Jace Fields. He gave me my little girl, so even though our marriage had gone up in flames, I didn’t hold any resentment, not anymore.
It hadn’t always been this way. When we’d divorced, I was lost, feeling like I’d given up, abandoned my marriage when perhaps it could’ve been saved if I’d just persevered.
If I’d held on that little bit longer. Jace had struggled with a drug addiction for years, and though I’d tried to stand by him and help him get better, it hadn’t worked out.
He hadn’t been ready to get clean, and ending the marriage had been my decision.
The most difficult choice I’d ever had to make.
At the time, I’d been lost in heartbreak, feeling like I’d never be whole again.
Not only did I feel like I was losing my husband, I also felt like I was losing a family because Jace’s parents and sister had been far more loving to me than my own family had ever been.
Thankfully, as time wore on, and with a lot of therapy to sort through my anger, sadness and despair, I began to heal.
Jace’s family didn’t go anywhere. They were still a huge and supportive part of mine and Zara’s lives.
And Jace had eventually gotten clean. Maybe two years too late to save our marriage, but still, it meant he could now be a father to our daughter in all the ways that mattered.
Despite the pain he’d put me through, there was a part of me that would always love him. He was just that sort of person. Even when he broke your heart, he could be devastatingly charming about it.
Well, it was no surprise given his who his father was.
Jay Fields, a world renowned illusionist who’d spent his life wowing audiences across the globe, was well-known for his charismatic personality and was just as famous as his rockstar son.
So my ex had inherited his charisma from his dad and his sweet side from his mother.
It was the reason I’d fallen for him as a starry-eyed teenager, thus resulting in me getting pregnant at the tender age of eighteen.
We’d married soon after Zara was born and were together for four years before everything fell apart.
Now, at twenty-seven, I just wanted to co-parent in as easy-going and drama free of an environment as possible.
The first two years after the divorce were rocky, but everything had smoothed itself out after that, mostly because Jace had gone into rehab.
I hadn’t laid eyes on him in person in over a year since he’d been touring for most of that time.
His mother typically collected Zara to bring her to see her dad, sometimes flying her to foreign countries to spend time with him on his days off, and returned her home afterwards.
This way, there was no need for Jace and me to interact, and that was better all round.
Matilda knew how hurt I’d been by Jace’s drug use, so she went out of her way to make things easier for me.
She was a saint, really. I wasn’t sure we’d be able to coordinate with Jace’s hectic schedule if it weren’t for his parents helping out.
And Zara was always so excited to see her dad, even though I sometimes got the sense that it made her sad not to have him around all the time.
“Did you make sure to tell them it starts at seven?” Zara asked as we stepped up to her grandparents’ front door.
She was a bundle of nerves because her choir was performing a concert at her school, and she had a small solo.
I was so proud of her. She’d had to audition against several other kids to get the part.
It appeared she’d inherited her singing voice from her dad because I’d never been able to hold a tune.
“Yes, I told them,” I said, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. She looked so cute in her black and grey uniform, her hair in a French plait that I’d carefully styled.
Reaching out, I pressed the doorbell, expecting either Jay or Matilda to answer. Turning to Zara, I bent down to tuck a stray golden brown curl away from her face just as the door opened, and her eyes widened in delight.
“Daddy!” she squealed, and my heart froze.
No, no, no. He wasn’t supposed to be here.
I knew his tour schedule by heart in order to avoid situations such as this.
It was just so hard seeing him. He’d been in recovery for a little over two years, but I was still traumatised from when he wasn’t.
My wounds hadn’t yet healed, and at this rate, I wasn’t certain if they ever would.
“Hey, honey,” he said to our daughter as I turned to face him, my heart lodged in my throat.
He’d scooped Zara up into his arms for a hug when those infuriatingly gorgeous hazel eyes flicked to mine, practically burning into me as he rose and Zara clung to him, talking about how excited she was that he was going to be able to see her choir perform.
The handsome bastard had the gall to smile at me.
I reiterate: He wasn’t supposed to be here.
“Kryten,” he said in greeting, and I instantly stiffened.
No way was I letting him call me by my old pet name.
As teenagers, we used to be obsessed with the space comedy, Red Dwarf, and had taken to referring to one another by the names of our favourite characters, mine being Kryten and his being Dave Lister.
So, we were Kryten and Lister. It was a silly teenage thing, and I refused to let him charm me with it like he used to.
He’d even named his band Astronavigation for Beginners, which referred to the fact that another character on the show, Arnold Rimmer, was constantly failing his astronavigation exam.
I’d told him from the start that it was too much of a mouthful for a band name, but there’d been no talking to him.
I’d been proven right over time since most of their fans now referred to them simply as “Astro” for short.
“My name is Shannon. And shouldn’t you be in Japan right now?”
“The last stop on the tour was cancelled because of some crazy storms, so I’m home a few days early,” he explained.
“Well, your mother should’ve told me. I could’ve arranged for—”
Jace turned to Zara, his hand sweeping over her hair. “Why don’t you go say hi to Granny and Granddad while I talk to your mam?” he suggested.
Zara nodded happily and skipped into the house.
Jace brought his attention back to me, his expression less cheerful than before.
“I wasn’t going to miss my baby’s first ever gig, and I’m sure you weren’t either, so we were both going to be in the same room anyway.
Besides, I wanted to discuss a few things with you. ”
“It’s not a gig; it’s a school concert. And what exactly do you want to discuss?”
Jace rubbed his jaw, and my attention went to the five o’clock shadow there. He’d always been attractive, and annoyingly, he seemed to be getting even more so with age.
“The tour is over, so I’m going to be home for a while. The band agreed to take some time off.”
“Okay,” I said, a sinking feeling coming over me about where this was heading.
“I was hoping we could come to a new arrangement so that I can spend more time with Zara. I’d like to start bringing her to school every morning and collecting her in the afternoons. I’d also like to have her stay with me one or two weekends out of the month.”
I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. I was conflicted because I knew our daughter would be overjoyed to see her dad more, but at the same time, I’d miss her being gone.
Not to mention, seeing Jace in person on a regular basis would be tough for me emotionally.
I knew I couldn’t be selfish in this, though.
Spending more time with Jace would be beneficial for Zara, and that meant I couldn’t say no to his proposal.
Despite his addiction, he’d always been a good father.
“Okay, that sounds reasonable.”
“And I want to be able to come to your house, Shannon. No more of my mam acting as the go between.”
Ah hell. Now I really wanted to argue. Only having to deal with Matilda had made my life so much easier these last few years, but deep down, I knew it wasn’t fair on her.
She might’ve been Zara’s grandmother, but she had a life, too.
She couldn’t be expected to deal with communication between Jace and me forever.
“All right. I’ll consider it,” I replied soberly and met his gaze. Those intense eyes had been my undoing so many times in the past, always managing to penetrate my defences. I felt them assessing me, gauging what I might be thinking.
“I’m not trying to make things difficult for you, Shannon. I just want to take care of our girl in the best way possible.”
“I know that, and I completely understand.”