Chapter 18
Shannon
I thought I’d go straight to bed and sleep as soon as we got back.
Instead, I was buzzed, my mind racing. It wasn’t anything to do with the events of the day, but something deeper.
Jace’s proximity awakened me in a way I hadn’t anticipated.
I was wired with a building, uncontainable energy.
Maybe it was because I’d kissed him earlier in the night, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
My skin was tingling, lungs burning, cheeks flushed.
“Hey.” Jace leaned in the doorway, arms folded as he surveyed me pacing my kitchen floor.
“What? Yes. I’m fine.”
He chuckled. “I didn’t ask anything.”
A flush crept up my neck. “You didn’t? Oh, well.”
He stepped into the room, tilting his head as he set himself in my path. “What’s going on, Shannon?”
I paused, peering up at him, skin tingling as I blurted, “I think I need you.”
He took a step closer, eyes darkening as they travelled down my form.
I felt everywhere they lingered, from my lips to my neck, along my collarbone, chest, and hips.
I realised I was standing in the exact same spot from the morning after my sex dream.
There had been more of those. With Jace sleeping on my couch, his irresistible presence filling the house with so much light and warmth, music, and laughter, I couldn’t help dreaming of him.
Sometimes he sang to me; other times he kissed me until I was short of breath. Often, he’d sink his cock inside me, and I’d wake feeling empty.
“What exactly do you need from me?” he asked low, giving me a chance to back out.
But I didn’t want to back out. I only wanted him.
I watched as he prowled towards me, and then, just like that morning when I’d almost come and he’d barely touched me, he dropped to his knees.
My breath caught as a tremble wracked my entire body.
“I need your mouth,” I whispered, my gaze tracing the familiar lines of him, the breadth of his shoulders, the set of his jaw, the lips I’d missed more than I’d ever admit.
Wanting him had never been the dangerous part. Pretending it didn’t mean something was. Jace was all I’d ever wanted, and though I’d tried to convince myself otherwise during our years apart, there was no more denying it.
“If I give you what you want,” he asked softly, “will you be mine?”
The question settled deep, right where the truth lived.
Not about tonight. Not about desire. About choosing.
About staying. I’d told myself for months, years, that I could live without him, that I could want less, feel less, survive it.
But every path I’d imagined had led me right back here. Back to him.
“You know I’m yours,” I said quietly. “I’ve never been anyone else’s.”
And saying it didn’t feel like giving something up. It felt like coming home. I stared into his eyes and the rough, satisfied growl he emitted told me he understood what I was saying. Just like I was the only woman he’d ever slept with, he was the only man I’d ever been with, too.
His hands went to the waistband of my pants. He pulled them down and off, revealing the sheer, lacy underwear I’d put on this morning. I wore it because I liked to wear nice things. I never once expected that anyone would see it before the day was through.
Jace dragged a hand over his jaw, his gaze swallowing me up. “Are you trying to kill me?”
“Touch me,” I begged, and his hazel eyes practically blazed with want.
He rested his cheek against my belly as he peered up, his hand massaging my thigh before his fingers wandered to the lace.
He traced the pattern. Teasing me … testing me.
I wanted to cry out but managed to stifle it by biting my lip.
“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve imagined this since that morning when you told me about your dream?”
“More like forced me to tell you,” I countered, and a smirk shaped his lips. I reached for his tie, loosening it a little before he batted my hands away.
“You first,” he rumbled, and then in the space of a few seconds, he had my knickers pulled down, the elastic resting mid-thigh as he brought his face to me and licked right up my centre.
It was the single most erotic moment of my life.
A strangled moan escaped as I stared down, transfixed by the ravenous way he ate me.
When my underwear got in the way, he growled before tearing it with a forceful rip.
“I’ll replace those,” he promised, tossing the material aside. I didn’t even have time to be mad because in the next moment he’d hitched my leg over his shoulder and buried his face between my thighs. He looked up, watching for my reaction as he sucked my clit into his mouth. I shuddered.
He withdrew to take a breath. “It’s been way too long.”
“Jace.” I ran my fingers through his hair, gripping tightly.
He growled again, leaning back in. This time, his tongue circled my clit, and my legs almost went out from under me. I couldn’t believe how easy this was, letting him take me, drive me to the heights of ecstasy. He’d always been an expert at making my body sing.
“Those eyes,” he said, pausing to take me in, and I wanted to whine in protest. “I could write an entire album about your eyes alone, Shannon.”
“You can write your album later. Right now, I really need you to—”
Before I could finish, his mouth returned, making me grip the counter with my free hand as I came within moments, shaking and shuddering against him. I wasn’t surprised by how little effort it took. Just being around him this last week had felt like foreplay, the build-up intoxicating.
I was a hot, depleted mess.
“Feel better?” he asked, smirking up at me, his hair going in different directions from all the tugging I’d done.
“Much,” I said, heart racing. “You?”
His handsome smile stole my breath. “On top of the fucking world.”
We stayed like that for a long time, him on his knees, gazing up like I was something to be venerated, me staring down in awe at this man who’d put us both through hell but was making every effort now to change.
He’d been taking Zara to and from school, cooking us meals, tidying the house, and generally being there whenever I needed him.
It was night and day to the Jace who disappeared into his addiction, seemingly incapable of swimming to the surface.
I’d reached out so many times, trying to pull him to safety.
Maybe that was never something within my capability.
Maybe it always had to be him who did the heavy lifting and struggled to the top.
“You tore my underwear,” I said as I stared at the fabric lying on the floor.
“I’m sorry, baby.” His large, warm hand came to my thigh, rubbing apologetically. “I’ll buy you new ones.”
“Well,” I breathed, getting worked up again just from his touch. “Are you going to stay down there all day?”
“View’s pretty spectacular.”
I chuckled. He really was impossibly charming.
“Do you want me to—”
“I’m going to run you a bath. Then I’m going to put you to bed, and you’re going to sleep for as long as you need, no six-thirty alarms.”
His plan sounded like heaven, yet still, a part of me was disappointed. I didn’t want a bath or to sleep. I wanted him. Wanted him to carry me to my bed and make love to me, remind me of all the ways we were perfect together.
“Jace.”
“Yes, beautiful?”
The way he so naturally called me beautiful had a new flush staining my cheeks. “Can I suggest an alternative?”
At last, he stood, carefully helping me back into my pants before running his fingers through the ends of my hair. “Of course, you can. What is it?”
“I want you to take me to bed.”
His chest rose steadily. He effected a demeanour of calm, but I could tell from his eyes that he was struggling not to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder. Bending close, his lips brushed the shell of my ear. “And what would I do to you there?”
“Everything,” I whispered, and the smirk returned, his eyes alight.
“You’ll have to be more specific.”
Frustrated, I gripped the waistband of his trousers and tugged him close, letting my hand drift to the rock hard cock straining beneath the fabric. I palmed his erection, and his loud groan filled the room. Going up on my tiptoes, I let my lips brush his mouth as I spoke, “I want you inside me.”
“Fuck, Shannon.”
I kissed him lightly, tasting myself on him.
Less than a second later, his mouth was on mine, kissing me with a passion that almost floored me.
He practically devoured me as I reached for his shoulders to keep balanced.
Then his arms banded around my waist, folding me in tight like he never wanted to let go.
We didn’t quite make it to my bed. Jace picked me up, still kissing me as he carried me to the stairs, but he only made it three steps before he put me down and backed me up into the wall.
We kissed like we were starved for one another.
I felt myself sliding down the wall before Jace had me spread out on the stairs, his hand dipping inside my pants and stroking my clit that begged for more of his touch.
I fumbled for his waistband again, this time pushing his pants down and freeing his cock. I stroked it until he shuddered and grabbed my hands, pushing them away. He pinned them against the step behind me, his eyes aglow with desire.
“Are you still on birth control?”
Wordlessly, I nodded.
Then several things happened in quick succession. First, Jace shoved my pants down while I tugged free his already loosened tie and tore at the buttons of his shirt. I definitely felt one or two pop, but since he tore my fancy lingerie, that made us even.
His mouth found mine, and he kissed me with abandon, his large hands spreading my thighs. I felt his cock nudge at my entrance and emitted a shuddering sigh. I wanted him.
“Now,” I begged, breathless.