Chapter One #3
“Tati, I lost a very close friend, but the only way I know how to cope with my grief is by working through it. Before Raph passed, he told me he wanted me to take control of everything so you never had to worry.”
Neither Carlotta nor I had the strength to watch the video Raphael left behind, a recording he made shortly after Nazira’s birth to update everything.
I knew I had to be the one to view it and meet with the lawyers.
It was difficult bearing all this weight, especially with my father acting like a rabid dog, biting at my ankles to help.
“I will let you know when I need your help, Daddy. Right now, I just need you here as a father. When I meet with the lawyer, I will tell you if there is something for you to do.”
He was focused on trying to help me, even though I never asked for it.
I understood that this was my father’s way of offering support and comfort as I mourned.
Business was his forte, and he believed his help could ease some of my stress.
It was his version of giving a hug to comfort his grieving daughter.
Raphael had been sick for several years, so we all knew his death was coming.
Karim’s sudden and unexpected passing, however, left me in a fog of grief for a while.
Now that I was working through it, my father wanted to be there.
But where was he when I was clutching Karim’s T-shirt in the walk-in closet, crying until I could hardly catch my breath, or the days I struggled to get out of bed to care for my daughter?
He wasn’t there then, but now he wanted to step in.
Bullshit.
With his attention on his phone, he replied, “Tatiana, my job has always been to protect you, but you’re making it very hard for me to do that.”
I watched as he silenced it and then looked back up at me.
“I’m not trying to make it hard. Raphael also prepared both me and Karim for what would come next if he passed.”
“Well, now they are both gone, and the Sterling name is barely hanging on,” he scoffed, glancing at his ringing phone again. The more he ignored the call, the more irritated he seemed to get. “Nazira isn’t going to carry on the name, considering she’s not biologically a Sterling.”
“Wow,” Yaya muttered, clearly disgusted by his words.
I fought to keep my composure. “What do you mean?”
The only people who knew that Nazira wasn’t Karim’s biological daughter were Karim, his parents, Yaya, Bloom, and my mother. I never bothered telling my father because, as long as I married into the Sterling family, I knew he wouldn’t care.
Once again, he casually waved me off and took a sip of his water.
“Please, Tatiana. I already knew Nazira wasn’t Karim’s daughter.
You didn’t let that man breathe in your direction, and you expect me to believe he impregnated you?
You were pregnant when you got married. Thank God your being a slut didn’t ruin the deal I had put in place. ”
Leaning back, he lit a cigarette and took a long drag while staring at me. My words caught in my throat as I looked at him. The nerve of him to say those things when he auctioned me off like prime stock at a market.
“How dare you speak on something you never cared about until money came into the equation,” I snapped. “The only reason I’m even here is because you want control of the Sterling empire. You don’t give a damn about anything I’ve been going through.”
“Clearly you haven’t missed a meal, Tati,” he shot back, smoke curling from his lips.
“Oh, hell no,” Yaya said sharply, jumping up from her chair.
My father turned to face her, appearing calm and unfazed that she was eyeing the steak knife only inches from her hand.
“Look, I have more important things that need my attention than wasting my time having a conversation with an immature man who lost his family.”
I stood up as my father put out his cigarette. He then raised the hand holding the unlit cigarette to his temple and peered up at me.
“Shit, Tati...I apologize. Things have been stressful, and I’m just trying to keep everything together.”
“By attacking my weight? Dad, I have everything under control on my end. If I need any help, I’ll let you or Walter know.”
“Walt? Why the hell would you let him know anything? He’s not even your blood relative.”
Walter was my godfather and more of a father to me than my own. I used to call them best friends, but over the years, I noticed how Walt started to distance himself from my father.
When I was growing up, he and his wife moved to Greenwich Pointe to be closer to me.
Walt and Aja were involved in everything–whether it was my sports games, recitals, or other events.
They cheered with my mother from the bleachers and made sure to attend every performance, even if they had to rush across town.
“That man has been there through everything in my life. I don’t care that he’s not blood-related. He’s my family.”
“Heard you have Nazira calling him Pop-Pop,” He shook his head, flicking the cigarette into the dish in front of him.
Nazira knew Walt better than my own father.
My father would visit whenever the mood struck him, which wasn’t often.
With children, you have to be consistent, and my father wasn’t, just like he hadn’t been for me.
Walt, on the other hand, was very involved in my daughter’s life.
He and Aja never had children of their own, so Nazira was their whole world.
I was grateful to have so much support in raising my daughter.
“He’s just as much her grandfather as you are. Maybe you should come around more often instead of criticizing her mother’s weight. By the way, I have no problem with my weight. I’m perfectly healthy, and my husband had no issues with it either. Have a great day, Father.”
“The husband I had to set your ass up with in the first place,” he hollered behind me.
I tightly clutched my purse as I left the restaurant with Yaya behind me. I knew she regretted not poking him in the throat with that steak knife. If she didn’t, I sure as hell did.