Chapter Three
Tatiana
I always slept best in the city. The car horns, random shouting, and distant sirens acted as my personal sound machine.
Sleep would come to me like an infant after eating baby cereal and drinking a bottle of formula.
At our Greenwich home, things were different.
I would try almost anything to fall asleep, but nothing seemed to work.
When I pulled back the covers and got into bed, I’d lie there staring at the ceiling while counting backwards from a million.
It was hard to get a good night’s sleep in a home that once overflowed with love.
Yet, despite how our story began, it grew into something beautiful.
Karim was patient, kind, and loving––the same qualities I missed with Nazir.
We showed each other grace because neither of us was perfect.
Raised by a father who solved all of his mother’s problems, Karim naturally became a man who tried to do the same, remaining by my side despite the baggage I carried.
For the first two months after we got married, I stayed at my condo in the city and only went home when he texted me that his parents or mine were coming over for lunch or dinner.
Karim was understanding that way. He knew I needed my space and time to process everything happening.
It was never about him, but more about me.
I was fighting with myself not to love this man.
My first true love had abandoned me, and I didn’t want to be vulnerable with anyone else like that again.
After silencing my annoying alarm, I sat up in bed and admired the city skyline and skyscrapers. The breathtaking view made me wake up feeling refreshed and excited for the day.
Sliding the silk sheet off my body, I swung my legs over the bed’s edge and stretched before placing my feet on the wooden floor.
I looked back at my bed and decided I would make it after finishing my morning routine.
Before heading downstairs to the gym, I quietly tiptoed down the hall to check on Nazira, who was still sleeping soundly.
Despite having a queen-sized bed to herself, she still took up the entire bed, with her legs and arms sprawled across the mattress.
Smiling, I gently closed her door and then went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I would wait until after my workout to do my skincare routine and take a shower.
As I slipped out of my pajamas, I looked at my size-eighteen reflection in the mirror and smiled.
I gave my booty a little bounce, admiring the body that had given me my angel down the hall.
I’ve always been curvy, and my mother raised me to appreciate the body God blessed me with.
I never went through that phase of wanting to be skinny to fit in.
My mother built my confidence throughout my childhood, which is why I wasn’t offended when my father made that smart remark.
The comment might have offended someone insecure about her body, but not me.
I was very confident and knew I was that bitch.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been passionate about fitness.
I played softball, soccer, and even tried running track until I realized it wasn’t for me.
I’ve always been active and loved doing anything physical, especially to avoid gaining too much weight.
My daughter was the complete opposite. Nazira inherited my mother’s genes and was naturally thin.
The girl had the appetite of a football player but never gained weight. I envied her metabolism.
I put on my sports bra with matching leggings and then went to the kitchen to grab my favorite water bottle, iPad Mini, and earbuds. Given my busy schedule, I made working out in the morning a priority; it helped me get the energy I needed to get through my hectic days.
Nazira knew my routine, so I usually found her eating breakfast with her iPad propped up whenever she woke up before I returned. I was truly blessed to have a child who was so easygoing and independent. Besides her constant habit of losing her lunchbox, she never gave me any trouble.
She reminded me a lot of myself, and sometimes I felt guilty about it.
Growing up as an only child, I was forced to be independent and resourceful, and I had to mature faster than my friends.
I often overheard adult conversations around me, and sometimes I was even included in those conversations.
Nazira was very mature for her age, and at times, I had to remind myself that she’s only ten.
Even though I liked to call her my little bestie, I had to remember she was still a child, and I couldn’t vent to her the way my mother did with me at her age.
As a child, I knew too much because my mother treated me like her personal diary, sharing things I shouldn’t have known.
I never blamed her and was always there for her, understanding her loneliness.
However, I chose to raise my daughter differently, refusing to make her feel older than she was.
I wanted her to enjoy being a child for as long as possible and kept my loneliness and sadness hidden from her as best I could.
I used my key fob to enter the state-of-the-art gym. With my iPad on the treadmill and earbuds in, I stretched before starting the machine. Just as I was about to hit play on my favorite workout playlist, Yaya’s name popped up on my phone’s screen.
“Yes, Yalina,” I answered with a sigh.
She snorted. “Well, you can at least pretend to be excited to hear from me.”
“Calling at this hour and expecting me to be excited is actually nuts. I’m more anxious about why you’re calling me.”
Yaya laughed. “No bad news. The location you wanted for the spa’s second site is available, and the realtor says we can sign the papers whenever you’re ready.”
I did a little jump while still maintaining my stride on the treadmill, excited because the location I’d wanted was perfect.
“Have him send the documents over electronically. I want to secure this location quickly.”
I could hear Yalina typing rapidly on the other end.
“Drafting his email now. Have you spoken to your mother about you and Zira possibly moving to the city?”
This time, I snorted. “Nope.”
“Girl, you said you would. How do you think moving her only grandchild away without telling her will make her feel?”
“Yaya, we’re not relocating across the country. I haven’t even discussed it with Carlotta yet. Excuse me for wanting to finalize everything before bringing it up to them.”
Nazira was everyone’s favorite, and everyone wanted time with her. If she wasn’t at my mother’s house, she was at Carlotta’s or Walt and Aja’s. So, I knew they wouldn’t be happy about that news.
“You’d better. Anyway, did Bloom go with you to the city?”
“She flew with us but said she had her own plans. When we’re in the city, I don’t need her to help me with Zira. Why? Is everything okay?”
“My father called and said he heard she was messing with that man again. And you know how Bloom is. She’ll get defensive if I meddle in her business.”
“And you think she won’t with me?” I asked. “She’s made it clear that our work and personal lives are separate, Yalina. She’s grown. We can’t keep babying her.”
Yaya sighed. “I don’t want to baby her. I just don’t want to see her waste her life on that nigga again. After the way things ended, I thought she’d finally be done with him.”
Although we were all thick as thieves, Bloom kept her love life private. We only knew what she chose to share. What I did know was her ex was the reason she once showed up at my front door with her eyes swollen and red from crying and a suitcase in hand.
That man dragged her through hell, and she mistook it for heaven.
She thought that because he claimed to love her, the pain and chaos he caused somehow proved it was real love.
I told her many times that love doesn’t feel like hell.
Love feels like curling up on the couch and watching your favorite comfort movie during a thunderstorm.
Sure, the thunder might startle you, but instead of fear, it just sets the perfect background for a relaxing evening.
It’s loud, wild, and unpredictable, but never unbearable.
That’s what love felt like to me. I constantly reminded Bloom that just because a man says he loves you doesn’t mean he truly does.
As her sister, Yaya wanted to protect her.
She could see as clear as day that Bloom’s boyfriend was no good and wanted to shield her from what she knew was coming.
But Bloom wanted to live life on her own terms. Her choices were hers to make, even if that meant stumbling.
“She’s stubborn,” I said softly. “You can’t control her life. She has to make her own mistakes. Hopefully, this last spin the block will finally show her he’s not the right man.”
“Yeah,” Yaya sighed. “Hopefully.”
“I love you, Yaya,” I said with a smile, keeping pace on the treadmill.
“Love you, too. Oh, don’t forget we have that meeting with the skincare company. Also, Jonah wants to discuss opening a location in the Dominican Republic at that new resort.”
I groaned. “He’s corrupted you, too?”
Yaya chuckled. “He may have called and asked me to add the meeting to your calendar.”
“He wants to expand too quickly, and I don’t think I’m ready for that.” I increased the incline and wiped the sweat from my brow.
“Tatiana, you’ve had Hush for six years. It’s the most sought-after spa in the area. People travel from the city to Greenwich just to visit. It’s time to stop being scared and expand.”
“I worry about Nazira. Expanding means I’ll spend more time away from her, traveling and fulfilling other commitments. I don’t think she’s ready for that.”
“Is she not ready, or are you not ready? You have a support system that will gladly step in and make sure Nazira is cared for. Plus, you pay Bloom good money to do that. I think you’re making excuses.”