Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
FROM THE FIRST moment Eric saw Kat standing at the top of the stairs, looking beautiful in a pair of jeans and a tight shirt that showed off every lush curve, he’d wanted to take her in his arms and never let her go. He’d thought about her all day, and after that amazing kiss they’d shared in the parking lot, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about kissing her again and again, but he’d promised himself he’d take it slow tonight. This date wasn’t about getting her into bed. It was about getting to know her and letting her know he wanted more than a quick hookup.
He closed the door behind them and reached for Kat’s hand as they descended the porch steps and he led her toward the yard.
“Where are we going?” Kat asked as they crossed the grassy lawn to the large barn at the foot of the hill.
Eric pulled open the doors, and the scent of leather, hay, and manure assaulted them. He drew in a deep breath. “Smell that? That’s the scent of stability, family, and strength.”
“Because of Hal?” she asked as they walked into the barn.
“Because of all of the Bradens. Their love knows no boundaries, and it’s always been a source of strength for me.” He walked to the stall of an old red mare named Hope. Hope pressed her muzzle into his sternum, and he petted her wide jaw.
“How’re you doing, Hope?” he said to the horse. “Are you ready to give us a ride?”
“Wait, what?” Kat’s eyes widened. “I don’t ride.”
He took her hand in his. “Not yet, but with me and Hope, you’ll do fine. That is, if you trust me to help you conquer your fear of riding.”
“I don’t know,” she said, nervously stepping back.
He pulled her in close and gazed deeply into her eyes. “Do you think I’d let you get hurt? Trust me, Kat. I’ll be right there with you, holding you. I’ll make sure you’re safe.” He turned to Hope, who neigh ed and nodded her big head, as if confirming his idea was a good one. “I want to take you someplace special, and horseback is the only way to get there.”
“But…” She trapped her lower lip between her teeth, looking so damn cute he had to press his hands to her cheeks and kiss her.
“I’ll make you a deal. If we get up on the horse and you’re too scared, we’ll end this part of our date and go into town.”
She hooked her finger into the waist of his jeans. “You really won’t let me fall?”
“Never.”
“What if Hope takes off running and you can’t stop her?” The worry in her eyes was palpable.
He gathered her in his arms. “That won’t happen. Hope knows how to take care of her riders, and I know how to take care of you. Trust me?”
She swallowed hard and nodded.
He slid his hand to the nape of her neck and gazed into her blue eyes. God, he loved her eyes, and the way her neck fit perfectly into the curve of his hand.
“I’ve never met anyone like you, Kat. You’re as strong as you are vulnerable. I want to do dirty things to you and protect you at the same time.”
“Your filter is slipping again.” A rosy blush colored her cheeks.
“Yeah, that tends to happen around you.” He led Hope out of the barn.
“Where are we going, anyway?” She petted Hope’s side, and he could see her fingers were trembling a little.
“Let me help you up, and then I’ll tell you.” He hoisted her onto the horse, and she held on to Hope’s neck for dear life. A low laugh escaped Eric’s lungs, earning him a scowl from Kat. “I’m not laughing at you. It was just a loud smile at how cute you are.”
He grabbed a leather backpack he’d packed earlier and shrugged it on, then mounted Hope behind Kat. “Normally I’d have you sit behind me, but I don’t want you to feel unsafe, and besides, this way I can put my arms around you.” He circled her waist with one arm and hugged her close, then pressed his lips to her cheek. “And you can learn how to manage the reins. Okay?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“You sound a little nervous.”
“Uh-huh. Go, before I change my mind.”
He laughed and showed her how to hold the reins. “Okay. Put your hands on either side lightly so you can feel how I do this. You’re lucky. Hope practically has the entire mountain memorized, so she’s the perfect host for your first lesson.”
Kat leaned her head back against his chest and slid her hands along his forearms. “You’re the perfect host for my first lesson.”
Eric’s heart swelled in his chest. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and reveled in how right the moment felt. How right Kat felt, pressed up against him, putting her faith in him to take care of her.
Rex had long ago cleared the trail so that Jade could ride without worrying about her horse running over felled trees or large rocks, and he’d installed solar lights along the path for evening rides.
“This trail runs all the way to the river,” Eric explained as they entered the forest. The last rays of sunlight peeked through the trees, illuminating the dirt trail.
“When the sun goes down, won’t Hope have a hard time seeing?”
“When it gets a little darker, the solar lights that Rex installed will come on.” He pointed out lights attached to the trees. “Safety first, remember?”
They rode up the mountain, serenaded by the sounds of the breeze rustling through the trees and skittering along the ground. Eric felt Kat’s body relax against him. He hated not being able to see her face, but he was learning to take his cues from her body language and from changes in her breathing.
“Feeling more at ease?”
“Yes, thank you. Hope is so gentle, and you make me feel safe.”
“Thank you. Hope is a doll. Hal bought her for his wife, Adriana, when she first got sick. He swears he can communicate with Adriana through the horse.” He had never understood how a man could love a woman so much that he refused to let her go, even after death, and he’d never been one to believe in love at first sight, but every minute he spent with Kat made him question those beliefs.
“Hal’s heart belongs to Adriana,” Kat said. “He probably sees her in everything and everyone he loves, don’t you think?”
“Maybe so. Can you hold the reins for a minute?”
“Sure, but what if I do something wrong?” She pressed her back to his chest, like she needed the contact and reassurance.
“You won’t. Just hold them gently. Don’t tug in one direction or another.” He released the reins and wound his arms around her waist. “I just needed a minute to be closer to you.” He rested his cheek against hers. “Don’t you love being out here, without the noise of the city or commitments nagging at you?”
A happy sigh escaped Kat’s lips as Hope followed the trail around a wide bend. The smell of damp earth and chillier air enveloped them as the river came into view.
“I’ve always loved it here,” Kat said. “But I like it even more being here with you.”
“Me too. I think you’d like my property in Sweetwater. I’ll have to take you there sometime. We can skinny-dip in the lake.” He felt her bristle against him.
“I don’t do deep water.”
Eric tightened his hold around her middle, thinking of the little girl from his past. “Just another thing we can overcome together.”
As the sun set, the lights on the trees came to life, illuminating the trail down to the river. He held tightly to Kat as they descended the mountainous slope, and when they reached level ground, Eric helped Kat off of Hope.
“How’d you do?” He brushed her hair away from her face so he could see her eyes and felt himself getting lost in the emotions he saw there.
“That was remarkably romantic. I never knew riding a horse could be romantic, but that was…” She sighed a contented, dreamy sigh that tugged at his heart. “Wonderful.”
He touched his forehead to hers and breathed her in. “I’m so glad. And there’s more romance where that came from.” He kissed her softly, loving the sweet sound of appreciation she made.
Together they unpacked the backpack and spread a blanket out on the ground. Kat took out the sandwiches he’d made while she was getting ready for their date.
“When did you have time to make these?”
“Right after I picked up your flowers.” He smiled, watching her move to Hope’s side. She looked thoughtfully at the horse.
“Don’t we have to tie her to a tree or something?” She petted Hope.
“Any other horse, maybe, but not Hope. She never takes off. I swear sometimes I think Hal is right about her ability to understand humans.” He removed a bottle of wine and two plastic wineglasses from the backpack.
“You thought of everything,” she said as she came to his side.
Eric held up one finger as he took candles out of the side pockets of the backpack. “Now all we need are candleholders.” He scanned the ground and found two big, flat rocks and placed them by the edge of the blanket. He set the wide-based candles on them and pulled a lighter from his pocket. “Feel free to lavish me with praise now,” he said as he lit them.
She rolled her eyes, and he tugged her against him, making her laugh. He loved her laugh. Hell, there was no denying how much he loved everything about her. She was sassy and sharp, and the way she looked at him made his stomach go all sorts of funky, in a very good way. It occurred to him that he should probably be freaked out by how quickly he’d become taken with her, especially since he’d felt himself falling for her from the moment he first set eyes on her. But freaking out wasn’t anywhere near his radar screen. He wanted to bring her deeper into his life, to drive full speed ahead into the feelings she stirred in him.
He pressed his lips to hers, and they sank down to the blanket side by side. He handed her a sandwich and poured the wine. “To our first date.”
“So, this is how a race car driver woos a woman? I was expecting fast cars and faster hands.” She leaned back on her palm and shifted onto her hip, looking radiant in the evening light. Her lips were curved up in a smile, and her baby blues hovered between shy and seductive—a look that was not only hard to resist but also seemed to come straight from her heart. It was probably the most honest look he’d seen on anyone in a very long time.
“You’ve already experienced my fast hands, and you know I love fast cars.” He sipped his wine, enjoying the way she was waiting to hear what else he had to say. She was so different from the women he usually dated, none of whom would enjoy a meandering horse ride to a river. He wanted to enjoy every second with her and not rush through any part of their date.
“I don’t usually woo women, but I think you know that by now.” He stretched out beside her. “I want to woo you, Kat. I want to get to know you and let you see the real me, which I can assure you, will also include fast hands and fast cars.”
“The real you? Tell me about the real you.” She finished her wine and set her glass aside.
Eric thought about her question as they ate, and when they finished, he slipped off his boots, then rolled up the bottom of his jeans. “The real me wants you barefoot, please.”
She smiled and did as he asked. “I’m game.”
He rose to his feet and reached for her hand. With their jeans rolled up to midcalf, he led her along the water’s edge.
“Are you avoiding my question?” she asked.
“No. Just thinking about it. I don’t often think about who I am with any real significance, and I don’t want to give you a glib answer—a race car driver, an adrenaline junkie. I guess over the past few months I’ve been learning more about who I want to be, so who I am is changing.”
“For the better?” she asked.
He stopped to pick up a rock and tossed it into the water. “I’d like to think so. The growth of the foundation is part of that.” He drew her in close and kissed her. “Maybe you’re part of that, too.”
“YOU MAKE THIS seem so easy and so right,” Kat said, gazing up at him with appreciation.
“Should it be difficult?” He picked up another rock and studied it for a moment.
“Complicated, maybe? I don’t know. Usually when I go out on a date it doesn’t feel like this. It’s more… questionable . There’s nothing questionable about how I feel when I’m with you. I want to be with you, and I can sense that you want to be with me, too.” She watched his lips curve into a smile as he tossed the rock into the water and reached for her hand again. Even though she’d been surprised by his kiss at the racetrack, she loved that he was openly affectionate. Something as simple as holding his hand made her feel special.
“Tell me about your foundation. How did you choose what type of families to help when there are so many families in need?”
“Experience,” he said, and that one word, spoken with a modicum of heaviness, made her wonder if he’d had drug issues in the past.
“Personal experience?” she asked carefully.
He sank down to a boulder and pulled her down beside him. “This isn’t something I usually talk about, but since we seem to be breaking all the rules…”
“I didn’t mean to pry,” she said quickly.
“You’re not prying, and if there’s a chance you’ll go out with me again, which I hope you will, then I want you to know the real me, like I said.” He squeezed her hand, but his eyes searched the river, as if he might find some answers there.
He turned to face her, and the way he took her hand between his underscored the importance of what he was about to reveal. Kat readied herself for a confession of drug use, which was something she wasn’t sure she could deal with.
“I didn’t have what you’d call an ideal childhood. My father was a stonemason, and he hurt his back when I was three or four. My mom was a stay-at-home mother, but after my father hurt his back and was put on disability, she took a job at a grocery store. My father was left to care for me while she worked, and between his pain and my being a rambunctious little boy…”
His voice was laden with sadness, and when he shrugged like it was no big deal, Kat knew he was just trying to act strong.
“I’m sorry. Was he abusive?”
“Not often. He went from pain pills to heavier drugs. Heroin mostly, and my mom eventually quit her job to care for me, but somehow she got tied up in the drugs, too. I don’t really know how or why, but by the time I was six or seven, they were both a mess.”
Her heart cracked wide open at the thought of Eric as a little boy, having to deal with that situation. “Did you have any other family members who could take care of you?”
He shook his head, and in the next breath he squared his shoulders, lifted his chin, and strengthened his tone. “No other family members, but I took care of myself. I learned to stay out of their way, to sense when they were high, or when they were in a bad place needing to get high.”
Kat couldn’t imagine living like that, and at such a young age. She wrapped her arms around him, wanting to comfort him and wishing she could make all the hurt she saw in his eyes disappear. At first he didn’t embrace her back, but she pressed her cheek to his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, and a few seconds later his arms came around her and he breathed deeply. She felt tension seep from his body, and she was thankful he trusted her enough to open up to her.
“I’m sorry you went through such a hard childhood.” She pulled back and pressed her hands to his cheeks, holding his gaze. “Look how far you’ve come. You’re a real-life hero, helping other families.”
Eric’s brows knitted together. “Say that again.”
“Look how far you’ve?—”
“No, the hero part,” he said quickly, searching her eyes.
“You’re a real-life hero?”
“That’s how I know you, Kat.” He scrubbed his hand down his face. “Holy shit. You’re Kay. You were at Camp Kachimonte. You were my bright light the summer I turned nine.”
Her chest constricted, and now she was the one searching his eyes. “How did you know I went there? I didn’t become Kat until I was a teenager and wanted a cool name. I went to camp the summer I was six.”
“I was there. That was a particularly difficult summer with my parents.” The muscles in Eric’s jaw jumped a few times. He rubbed the back of his neck, as if the conversation had caused a knot there. And when he finally spoke again, it was with a heavy tone. “We rarely had food in the house, and I spent most of my time outdoors, keeping a low profile to stay out of their way. But that summer I snuck into the camp.” He caressed her cheek and said just above a whisper, “And I met you. I knew you looked familiar when I first saw you in the airport, but I thought I was imagining it.”
“I don’t understand.” She had only a few fleeting memories from that summer, none of which included Eric.
“I met you that summer. You dropped an ice cream sandwich, and I snuck into the kitchen and got you a new one. And I stopped a bully from beating up a kid. You told me I was the bravest boy you knew.”
Kat smiled, but she had no memory of those incidents. “I must have been too young to remember.”
“Do you know why you’re afraid of deep water?” He pulled her up to her feet and walked to the water’s edge, kicking water up and speaking fast. “I wasn’t supposed to be there. I’d already gotten caught sneaking in once, and the punishment was pretty harsh, but I saw that you were in trouble, flailing in the water, and no one was helping you. I couldn’t let you drown. I dove in and dragged you to shore. You were so scared. God, I’ve thought about this a lot over the years. Your words pulled me through some of my darkest nights. You grabbed my face, the way you just did, and you said, You saved me. You’re my real-life hero .”
Kat’s heart thundered against her ribs as memories came rushing back. “I remember now. You ran away.”
He nodded. “The counselor came after me. After you said that to me, you pressed your lips to mine. You were so little, so scared. It was like relief was flooding out of you. I think the counselor thought I was doing something wrong, because you were crying, but I couldn’t stick around to explain and chance being brought home by the police again.”
“I called after you. I think I said, Boy, come back! ” She remembered now. Eric’s wide eyes had stared back at her, and then he was gone. “You must have been so scared.”
“Only of what waited at home if the police had brought me to the door again. I can’t believe it’s really you. It’s surreal. Like you’ve been there all the time, just waiting for me to find you.”
She smiled at that. “Do you know how slim the chances are that we’d meet again after all these years? Or that you’d even remember something like that? Like me?” She took a moment to digest it all before saying, “I think I’ve just seen your sentimental side, and I really, really like it. What happened next?” They held hands as they walked back toward the blanket.
“I don’t know. The years blur together in a shameful nightmare of making it through each day. Lots of scary nights, fights, days where my parents were too drugged out to speak to me. At fifteen I got a job working at the track, and a mechanic there took me under his wing. I eventually moved out of my parents’ house, and they eventually got clean.”
“And that’s why you help families that have been affected by drugs.” She understood so much about him now and admired him even more for what he’d been through.
“Yes, and believe me, the irony of the fact that I’ve spent my life moving as fast as I can, and that it probably has something to do with escaping my past, is not lost on me.”
“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you were strong enough to not only stay safe and sane, but you’ve taken your painful past and turned it into a way to help others. I think that’s the most admirable thing a person can do.” She went up on her toes and pressed her lips to his. “You really are a true-life hero. And I’m lucky enough to have found you twice in one lifetime.”
He touched his forehead to hers. “I’m the lucky one, sweetheart. You brightened my summer then, and you’ve turned me upside down over the past two days. You make me want things I’ve never wanted before. I can’t believe how much I feel for you already, or how happy I am when I’m with you.”
“Thank you for trusting me enough to share your secrets with me.”
He breathed deeply again, as if a great weight had been lifted from his chest. “Thank you for not judging me for my past.”
“Judging you? We can’t pick our parents.”
“Even so, thank you.”
She eyed the river. “You inspire me. Since you’re helping me overcome my horseback riding fear, would you be willing to help me overcome my fear of deep water? It’s one fear I haven’t been able to conquer yet.”
“I’ll help you with anything, anytime. But are you sure you want to swim here?”
She was already stripping down to her underwear, and he was drinking her in with a lascivious stare. “Scared?”
“Hell, no. But if you’re going to walk around in that skimpy silk and lace, I can promise you that you should be scared. Very, very scared.”
“Oh gosh.” She feigned wide-eyed innocence. “Then I’d better take them off.” She turned her back to him and slipped her bra straps down her arms.
“Kat.” His voice was thick with desire.
She glanced over her shoulder as she wriggled out of her panties, giggling when he stepped from his boxer briefs, fully erect, every muscle pulled taut as she crooked her finger.
“I need my big, strong hero to help me into the deep water.”