Chapter 8 Holden
Holden
I’m just putting some finishing touches on Alessa’s new security when I hear a knock at the door.
“Come in,” I call out.
I hear the door open and don’t look up, thinking it’s probably Ryder. He’s the only one who comes in here to hang out. Then her sweet vanilla scent hits me, and my head whips up and I drop my eyes just as fast. It’s fucking sad that I still can’t even look her in the eyes.
“What are you up to?” she asks, sitting in the chair beside mine. She puts her bare feet on the edge of the desk, and I have to force myself to stop looking at her legs.
“I’m working on your security,” I mumble and mentally slap myself. A whole year and she still intimidates the shit out of me. Not because I’m scared of her, she’s been nothing but nice to me; it’s because she’s gorgeous.
“Oh,” she replies, laying her head back on the chair. “Can I hang out in here while you work? Everyone else out there is fucking nuts.”
“Sure.” There’s no way I can work with her this close. Her arm is so close that if I move, my arm rubs hers.
“Can I see your file on Leo?”
I reach over and hand it to her. She flips it open, giving me the chance to look at her profile.
Her long black hair is hanging down her back, and I want to reach out and see if it’s as soft as it looks.
It’s so black that it looks almost blue when the light hits it.
Her cute button nose is scrunched while she’s reading, and she’s biting her bottom lip in concentration.
I want to sink my teeth into it to see what it tastes like.
Whoa.
I jerk my head back to my computer and pretend to be working.
I worked hard on that file for her, just like I do everything, but that folder holds a lot more important information.
I don’t know Leo, but I hear them talking around the house since she’s been seeing him.
Who would ever lie to a girl like her? I can’t figure it out.
If you have a girl like that, you don’t lie to her or do anything to hurt her.
She sighs and closes the folder. I want to ask her what’s wrong, but that part of my brain doesn’t function anymore. I can’t form many words in her presence unless it’s work-related.
A year ago, I was locked in a corner bedroom, fed one meal daily, and given energy drinks and beef sticks any other time.
I worked nonstop for a piece of shit. Then this black-haired angel busts into the room and tells everyone with her not to touch me.
She got me out, got me medical attention, and gave me food, clothes, and a place to stay. In return, she asks very little of me.
She knows I was hacking her by his command.
But she doesn’t know that I was laying a trail right back to me so she would finally find me and kill me.
I knew who she was from conversations around that shithole of a house, so I made the plan hoping she would put me out of my misery, but she gave me my life back—sort of.
I’m free to go whenever I want, but I want to stay and help her. I wish I could offer her more than the broken man I’ve become. I can hold an entire conversation with the guys with no problem, but one look from those blue eyes and I lose all train of thought.
“You really didn’t find anything on him?” she asks, breaking me from my thoughts. Does she want me to find something wrong?
“No. He was with his mom. She’s an elementary school teacher, and he worked for a company that helped save restaurants from failing. Then about a year ago, Evander contacted him after discovering they had a brother. You know what happened from there.”
“Why would an elementary school teacher get involved with someone like Frankie Perez?” I don’t miss how her voice breaks when she says his name. I know there’s history.I just don’t know the full story.
I shrug. “People hide their true colors all the time.”
“Don’t I know it,” she mutters cryptically, then sighs. “Have you found anything on Evander or Mateo?”
I hand her another folder. “They check out too. They dispatched or killed almost all of Frankie’s men before finding their own. They closed his seedy businesses and focused more on the bigger ones. They’ve been mostly quiet.”
“Where’s their mom? What was her name?”
“Rhonda,” I answer. “Dead.”
“Good riddance. She was as bad as Frankie.”
She lapses back in silence, slightly spinning the computer chair. Every time she turns my way, her leg brushes my arm.. I swallow back the panic to stop myself from jerking my arm away. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, thinking I’m disgusted by her touch; it’s the exact opposite.
“Do you want to go on a drive with me?”
I whip my head to her. “What?”
She smiles softly. “I have a place I’ve been wanting to show you. Come with me?” I nod on autopilot because I’ve never been able to tell her no. “Meet me in the garage in ten minutes.” I nod again, and she leaves the room, leaving her smell lingering behind her.
What the hell? She doesn’t ask me to go anywhere with her because she knows I prefer to stay home. Ryder makes me go out. Not that I mind going anywhere with him; he’s become one of my closest friends. But her?
I can feel my anxiety creeping to an all-time high.
Get your shit together, Holden.
I find every bit of courage I can to gather myself enough to leave this room. It might sound weird after being locked up all that time, but it’s my safe place. I have my bedroom upstairs and my office; both places are where I feel the best.
When I first moved into this house, the size scared the shit out of me.
I was always waiting for something to jump out of the corner, but the longer I stayed, the more at ease I became.
Ryder took care of me physically the first night we got here, sensing I would feel more comfortable around a man than Alessa.
Gage was the first to start joking around with me instead of tiptoeing around, and I’ve never felt more grateful for his crazy ass.
Dex always made me feel safe because nothing was getting past that man.
Alessa was like the sun after a bad storm.
I knew she carried her demons. They all did, but she kept mine at bay.
The nightmares would still creep up when I least expected them, but they got further and farther between until I could finally sleep all night long without waking up in cold sweats and screaming.
I tried not to think about what happened when I was with those guys, but sometimes my mind would conjure up a memory that almost made me run for the fucking hills.
These guys took me in like it wasn’t even a question. They accepted that I needed help and did just that. I would never be able to repay them for what they’ve done for me, so I work my ass off on whatever they need.
Les’ security measures were outdated whenever I moved in, so I spent the first few months making sure they were locked up tighter than Fort Knox. Nothing was getting by them without me knowing. After that, she started giving me jobs, but nothing to overwhelm me or make me uncomfortable.
Knowing I’m stalling, I make my way slowly to the garage. I can’t help the fear that settles into my stomach that I have done something wrong, and she is about to take me out of this world.