Chapter 25 Ryder
Ryder
“Les isn’t going to like this,” Holden says for the third time, and I suppress an eye roll.
“It’s just a simple trip,” I point out, helping him unwrap his hands from sparring with me. He’s getting damn good, and I’m not as worried about him getting into a fight if I can ever get him out of the house.
He gives me a doubtful look before sitting on the weight bench and lying back. He hooks his hands on the bar and lifts the weights off. I’ve gotten him lifting two-seventy-five, and he barely breaks a sweat anymore. I still spot him closely, though. I watch his biceps ripple and tear my eyes away.
I’ve never found a guy attractive, but working out with Holden all these months has made me pay attention to him in ways that I shouldn’t. Especially knowing what I know about him.
“Yeah,” he grunts, lifting the bar back up. “What if something happens?”
“Nothing is going to happen, Holden.”
“You don’t know that.”
“She’s busy. It’ll be fine.”
Les runs several smaller gangs all over Abbs Valley and Los Angeles.
I got a call from a guy named Squid that runs the Disciples.
He says they’re having problems with their rival gang, and it’s starting to heat up.
I’m just going down there to remind everyone who they’re really fucking with, and that’s it. It doesn’t matter who I take with me.
He finishes his sets with the weights and racks the bar. “It’s your funeral.”
I chuckle. “She wouldn’t kill me.”
“She would in a fucking heartbeat.”
“Whatever, you little shit.”
Holden and I have become close over his time here. He’s more open around me than he is around the other guys, but I see him starting to open up with everyone, including Les, and I couldn’t be prouder.
“I’m not so little anymore,” he says with a grin, whipping his shirt over his head with confidence.
I started calling him little shit when he first came here because he was skinny as hell. Now he has defined pecs and abs of steel. Nope. Definitely not little anymore.
Stop looking at him like you want to fucking eat him.
I shove his shoulder playfully. “You’re still smaller than me.”
He snorts. “Not everyone can be built like a linebacker.” He turns around to head toward the door, and I see angry red marks all down his back.
“What the fuck happened to your back?” I growl. A flash of white-hot anger runs through me at the thought of someone hurting him.
He spins around with guilt all over his face.“Les,” he finally answers, staring at something over my shoulder.
I frown in confusion. I spin him back around to take a closer look. Holy shit. “Are those from her fingernails?”
“Uh,” he replies, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah.” I run a finger down one, and his whole body shudders, and I jerk my hand away.
“Sorry,” I mutter. I didn’t mean to hurt him, but holy shit. She did that to him?
“It’s fine,” he says hoarsely, without turning around. “Are you mad?”
I search around for anger or even jealousy. But all I can find is a curiosity about what he did that caused her to claw his back up. “No. What did you do to get those?”
He slowly turns around. “Do you really need a lesson in the birds and the bees, Ryder?” he says sarcastically.
“No, smartass.” I shove his shoulder again with a laugh.
“Well, I mean. You know when a guy and girl are,” he says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, “Things sometimes happen.”
I advance on him with a step forward, and he grins. “You and Les, huh?” I wait for some type of jealousy, but I don’t find it with Holden. I only feel it with Leo and sometimes Gage. I’m trying my hardest not to fuck this up with my stubborn feelings.
He looks guilty again, and I feel like shit. “Yeah.”
“Hey,” I say, gently laying my hand on his shoulder. “It’s fine. I’m not mad.”
“I know how you feel about her,” he says quietly, dropping his head.
“Look me in the eye,” I remind him, and his head slowly comes up. “I know you feel the same. It’s all good, man.”
“I told her what happened to me,” Holden says, dropping to the floor to sit.
I sit down beside him, knowing this is a big deal. “You good?”
“Yeah,” he shrugs. “She deserved to know. I feel better now that she does.”
“Nightmares?” I ask. I know how bad they used to be because I was always the one that ran to him in the middle of the night.
I know he felt more comfortable with me, and Les never wanted to make him feel any other way.
He used to wake up screaming, covered in sweat with tears rolling down his face.
The longer he’s here, the better they are, but I know bringing it up has the potential to bring them back in full force.
He shakes his head. “No. I slept like a baby.”
I give him a dry look. “Sleeping next to a certain someone probably helped with that.”
“You jealous because it wasn’t you?” he jokes.
“You little fucker,” I growl, lunging for him.
We playfully wrestle on the floor like we’ve done a thousand times.
Something changes, though. It’s like an electric storm is lighting up the room, firing up every nerve ending I have that is touching him.
That’s everything since I have him pinned to the floor, my hips between his legs and his hands above his head.
I look down at Holden; his eyes are wide, pupils huge, but it isn’t out of fear. I know what he went through during his time in hell, but he isn’t afraid of this; he is feeling it too.
I let his arms go, but before I can move, he latches onto my arms and jerks me, so we are chest to chest. He slants his mouth over mine, surprising me, and making me freeze.
Does he feel this attraction too? He pulls back just as fast. “Sorry,” he mutters, “I just…never mind.” He shoves at my chest, but I lean in further so he can’t move.
“You what, Holden?” I ask, placing my hands beside his head.
“I read this wrong. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,” he says quietly and shoves at my chest again. I let the bottom half of my body rest between his thighs.
“Does that feel like you read it wrong?” I ask, indicating my hard cock I was trying to hide while we were wrestling. He’s just as hard as I am.
His brow furrows. “But when I kissed you…”
“You surprised me. That’s it,” I interrupt. “Do it again,” I challenge, leaving this in his hands. I will never do anything that might scare him.
I lower my head, so my lips are hovering over his.
His eyes flash down to my lips, and he licks his.
If he doesn’t do something soon, I’m going to self-combust. He presses his lips against mine, and I’m ready for him this time.
With the first stroke of his tongue against mine, every bit of willpower I have not to push him flies out the window.
I sink my tongue into his mouth, taking over the kiss.
He groans and flattens his hands on the base of my spine, holding me closer.
Bracing myself on one hand, I lower most of my weight on him, running my other hand down his stubbly cheek.
I never thought in a million years I would kiss a dude, but kissing Holden feels right and fucking good. Our naked chests rubbing together is sending me into overload. I know we need to stop this before it goes any further because I want to take my time with him and ensure this is what he wants.
I pull back from the kiss reluctantly. “To be continued,” I tell him when I take in his confused face.
“You liked that?” he asks shyly.
My cock is hard as fucking steel, my heart is hammering out of my chest, and everywhere he touches lights me up. “Yes, I did,” I tell him simply. Unable to resist, I kiss his lips once more before jumping to my feet. I reach down for his hand and jerk him to his when he puts his hand in mine.
“Then why did you stop?” he asks, looking uncertain.
“Because, Bello, I can’t spend the time that I want to explore this with you.” His eyes widen with my honesty, and his mouth forms an ‘O’. “I want to take my time.”
“Me too,” Holden replies with a slight smile.
I grapple for every bit of self-control I have with that innocent smile. “Come on,” I say and jerk my head towards the door.
Before I rip your clothes off.
“You’re coming with me today,” I tell Leo, walking into the living room an hour later after a freezing shower. I can’t get that kiss with Holden out of my head.
He turns from the TV with a frown. “What?”
“You wanted in. You’re fucking in. Now get dressed,” I tell him and spin on my heel before he can reply.
It’s just a trip to check on Squid, and that’s it.
Les wants him to be involved, so I’m about to involve him, whether she means it or not.
It’s time for us to find out what he’s made of.
I don’t blame him for the look he just gave me; I wouldn’t trust me, either.
But I refuse to treat him with kid gloves because he grew up with an apple pie fucking life.
If you want to date the leader of the Italian Mafia, you have to fucking work for it.
“Les is going to kill you,” Dex says with a chuckle when I walk into the kitchen.
He must have heard me when I told Leo to get dressed.
I see Leo pass by the kitchen on his way to the stairs, and I have to admit, I’m impressed.
He could tell me to fuck off, and there isn’t anything I could do about it because Les would likely take his side, but something told me he wouldn’t refuse to go.
Leo has something to prove, and I’m going to let him.
“She wanted him to be a part of us.”
Dex gives me a doubtful look. The same one Holden gave me. “Why are you really taking him?”
“Because it’s time he showed what he’s fucking made of. Les will coddle him forever, and he needs to man up.”
“So, taking him into gang territory without telling Les is your plan?” Dex asks with a shake of his head. “You really are a fucking idiot.”
I shrug. “Call me what you want. I’m still taking him.”
Leo rounds the corner, having changed into jeans and a button-up. He moves, and I see the flash of his holster and the Glocks Gage gave him.