Chapter 11
Ricky
He was going to take very good care of me.
“How?” Yes. That was a good question. “How are you going to take care of me?”
I’d been doing it on my own but I was pretty sure he’d do it better. “Oh, but I want to keep the full internet. I think that’s going to be a limit for me.”
Master nodded seriously. “I think that’s a very good limit.”
Whew.
“That’s great.” I could be flexible about a lot of other stuff. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to start with finding ways to keep track of you.” Master trailed his fingers around my ear and down my neck. “I might have to try a few different ways before I get the right one, but I like research.”
He was going to track me.
I really was important.
“Then we’re going to talk about what kind of a schedule you can live with. How often you’ll be willing to come over…when you have to work…what will be too much control and what you can tolerate versus what you like.”
He’d want all the control right up until it got on my nerves.
What would get on my nerves?
“Don’t take my TV time away from me. I’m having to catch up and I know it looks like I’m spending too much time on it, but I just figured out why everyone groans and laughs when someone says to pivot.” Good grief, people used a lot of TV lines in real life.
Master nodded slowly, understanding how important it was.
“I think that’s a reasonable limit and we’ll work out a schedule of time and shows if that makes you feel more secure.
We can also find a couple of YouTube channels or entertainment sites who put together compellations on important scenes in TV history. ”
“That’s a great idea.” Some stuff was more interesting than others but everyone seemed to know even the boring stuff. “I think I’m missing out on some famous commercials too.”
Having a Master was going to be really helpful.
“I take it Grandma didn’t approve of a lot of TV?” Master smiled when I shook my head. “I thought so.”
“I got to watch the news and nature documentaries.” That was something at least. “So I’m up to date on current political events and wars and overseas elections and the newest studies on how smart elephants are.”
Master chuckled as he took my hands and helped us both to stand up. “That’s wonderful and it means you don’t have to learn about those kinds of things.”
“Yes. I just need to figure out other TV stuff and fiction books.” Every time I got frustrated I reminded myself it could’ve been a lot worse. “And sex toys.”
Because I really wasn’t sure how the zapper chair would work or why he had so many large teddy bears.
Everything in the room seemed to have dual purposes but I wasn’t sure what to worry about with the stuffed animals.
“I’ve been studying about relationship stuff and how gay sex works and BDSM in general, but I got distracted with the Leashes and Lace guys before I dove into sex toys.
” That seemed like it’d been a strategic error when it came to having a relationship with Master.
“I understand everyone has them…well, a lot of people have them…but I never took a class at the co-op on those.”
They’d all been mostly really religious families, so that kind of stuff wouldn’t have been something they wanted to talk about.
Master paused and then did his slow, thinking nod again. “I take it you got a basic sex-ed and health class, though, right?”
“Yes.” Thank goodness. “I understand all the body parts and how they’re used and what they do.
I know how to keep a vagina healthy and a penis, and I know where babies come from.
My grandma said I was going to need to know that when I got married because she wanted grandchildren.
Some of the other co-op parents were kind of weird about it, though, but she told them they weren’t raising goldfish, they were raising people. ”
Even I knew it was one of her better parenting decisions.
Master coughed for a second before letting out a breath. “I’m glad she realized that.”
“Me too.” For more than baby reasons. “Oh, and I’ve watched enough videos from therapists online to explain that I’m not worried about what she’d think or what I’m doing now.”
Based on what I’d seen online and in TV shows, she’d made some questionable decisions about how I was raised. It was kind of understandable, though, because my mother still seemed to be in her rebellious teenager phase.
“I expect to know if that changes in any way.” Master raised one eyebrow when I nodded. “Mental health changes quickly sometimes and I will be very upset if you hide problems like that from me.”
“Tiny spanking levels of upset?” That wouldn’t be good.
He scoffed.
Oh. That wasn’t good at all.
“A no spanking level of upset.” He looked serious enough I believed him. “For a very long time.”
“I’ll be good and I’ll tell you if my mental health changes.” I didn’t think it would. “Right after the funeral I wasn’t in the best place but I’m not mad at her any longer.”
I had questions I had to figure out, but better late than never.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you when you were struggling.” Master pulled me into his arms and kissed my nose. “We’ll do things together from here on out.”
I liked together.
It was much better than being lectured about being self-sufficient and how inappropriate the outside world was. So far I hadn’t run into anyone trying to sell me drugs or push me to do illegal things but I had found people who were very nice and very sexy.
So there seemed to have been a lot of things she’d been wrong about.
“Together is good.” So was information. “We can answer questions together too. Like why are the teddy bears naughty?”
Ha.
He grinned.
Yep.
“Are you sure they’re naughty?” He was worse than I was about trying to look innocent and failing. We both needed more practice. “They look cute.”
“They do.” I glanced over at the pile on the very big toddler bed that was clearly for when a doll needed a nap. “But everything in here seems to have more than one purpose.”
He could even tie me down really well on my changing table.
“I think…I think some of them are for cuddling because sometimes dolls need a nap?” I was pretty confident about that part, so I was glad when he nodded.
“But some of them are special…they might vibrate or tell me I’m naughty?
Like a dirty Build-a-Bear? I saw those online but they just said regular stuff. ”
“Let me guess…you weren’t allowed to have too many toys?” Master sighed when I nodded.
“There were more educational things to do and I played outside a lot.” We just didn’t have a lot of other kids around to play with because the outside world was supposed to have been very dangerous. “I did good in school, though.”
“I bet.” Master kissed my forehead. “And I can’t wait to see what else you decide to learn about once you’ve got TV shows and BDSM off your list.”
“Me too.” There were lots of options. It was going to be fun. “I’m enjoying this stuff but my BDSM list just keeps growing and growing.”
He laughed and nodded. “I bet. There are lots of different pieces to it, but we’ll go through anything you’re curious about together.”
I didn’t have to do it by myself.
“Thank you.” Cheek kiss time because he was the best. “Now…about my teddy bears.”
He looked like he wanted to giggle like a kid who’d found the best prank ever but instead Master tried to shrug and look confused. “What could be interesting about teddy bears? Besides, all dolls need something to cuddle with or to have an innocent tea party with.”
“Technically yes.” That was a reasonable start to an answer. “But what else can we do with teddy bears that’s not innocent?”
I had no idea what else it could be, but the delight Master found in my confusion didn’t bother me. He was just having fun being silly and it was cute. I might be pretty but we were both very cute depending on the situation. “You’re being a silly Master.”
Yep.
“Me?” He was barely holding back laughter. “Would I be silly with my pretty boy?”
“Yes.” But something made me wonder if he’d usually be serious with his doll. He’d been silly-playful when he’d been getting me ready but he’d also been careful and sweet. “But you want to tease your pretty boy, so you’re going to want to tell him how naughty the bears are.”
And he laughed.
Ha.
I won.
“You’re right.” Master wrapped his arm around me and led me over to the bed where most of the bears were sitting together down the wall the bed was tucked up against. “Now, do we have to play naughty with the bears?”
“No.” I knew that one. “There’s always something else we can do and limits change over time.”
“Good boy.” Master kissed my head. “So we might start by playing with them and then you might change your mind or we might put it off for a while to give you time to think about it.”
What was it, though?
We weren’t just talking about having innocent tea parties or cuddle time.
“Yes, Master.” He looked like he needed another cheek kiss and I made sure to cuddle closer. “Let’s sit down together and you can tell me about it.”
Master was nervous.
I was going to have to figure out a way to lecture him about communicating about his mental health, but based on what the guys had said, he might not know he was nervous. It seemed to be a common problem in Doms that they didn’t always know when they were uncomfortable.
Hmm.
“Sure.” Master climbed over the don’t-fall-out-of-the-bed thing on the side of the mattress and sat down at the head of the bed. He looked cute against all the pillows but I wasn’t sure I could tell him that. “Come here, pretty boy.”
That was an order I loved.
He even patted his lap so I knew I could sit on it.
“I get more lap cuddles.” Oh, that was nice. “This is even better than the chair. I didn’t think about cuddles being this nice.”
“Let me guess, Grandma didn’t like cuddles?” Master didn’t seem surprised when I shook my head. “Mine neither.”
Maybe grandmas were always kind of odd but mine had gotten a double dose of it?
“We’ll make up for it now. I do that a lot, so it’s okay.” Laps were very nice. “I’m glad you’re really big.”
Master laughed and gave me a big hug. “Me too.”
Since he was happy and kind of trapped, it seemed like a good point to lecture him. “Master? You know that Doms have safewords but do you know it’s okay for them to be nervous about stuff?”
And that was why they needed safewords.
I should’ve understood that part faster.
“That’s why they have safewords too.” I shook my head and sighed as his face went kind of stiff and scrunched up. “I get it now. But you can tell me more about it later. Right now, I need to know if you want to safeword about the bears.”
I could be patient.
Well, sometimes I could be patient.
Master nodded slowly but he didn’t need long to think. “Yes, I understand I can safeword about the bears but I don’t need to.”
Hmm.
I gave him his raised eyebrow look and tried to channel a slightly suspicious Leashes & Lace model.
He sighed.
I’d done it right.
“I’m not sure I appreciate that look being aimed at me.” We both knew that meant I’d done it right, so I shrugged and he kept complaining. “It’s just not right on my pretty boy.”
“Then be a good Dom and communicate with your pretty boy.” I needed to take care of my Master and sometimes that was going to mean pretending to be him. “I’ll be patient if you need to think.”
That was what he’d do too.
His groan said he knew I was right and that I’d done a good job.
“Fine. I might’ve been a bit worried about how you’d see them.” He paused before reaching down and bringing a cute little polar bear to sit on my lap. “I might’ve bought them after the last guy I dated saw them online and said they were creepy.”
Oh.
What would my Master say to me in this situation?
“Do we buy things or try things out of spite?” We both knew the answer, but I waited quietly until he shook his head. “I’m glad we understand that. Now, think about this, please. Do you like the bears?”
No matter what they did.
Eventually I’d have to figure that out.