2. Boots and Bitching Podcast
CHAPTER 2
BOOTS AND BITCHING PODCAST
Things in Sagebrush Creek are drier than Preacher Brown’s Sunday sermon, and let me tell you—there ain't a damn thing funny about that. The drought has this town holding onto every drop of water like a toddler with the last juice box at daycare.
But you know what hasn’t dried up? The gossip. And honey, today the pitcher is overflowing.
It’s your favorite anonymous source for all things Sagebrush Creek—the scandals, the sweet tea, and the cowboys who don’t know how to mind their damn business. We’ve got a lot to cover, thanks to the boys over at Kingridge Ranch always finding themselves in one mess or another. So y’all pull up a chair and let’s get right into it.
Rumor has it the guys out at the ranch are scrambling after their new arrival threw a wrench in things. The mystery man lurking in the shadows for the last week finally has a name… Danner. With a D, y’all.
Now, I’ve always found it peculiar that the Kingridge boys were named alphabetically, well almost. Alexander, Bowen, and Callum are followed by Fallon, Geoffrey, and Holden. There’s a gap where D and E are concerned, but maybe that’s just a coincidence.
Oh, and here’s the real kicker… Pa Kingridge has hired Danner to work the ranch full-time. No job posting, no interviews, no nothing. Just an out-of-the-blue, full-time hire. Suspicious? You bet your boots it is.
I’ve been asking around, but mum’s the word. The official story is that Danner is here to modernize the operation, but they’ll need to spin a better tale if they think they can fool me. Please. You don’t bring in a stranger to shake up a ranch unless there’s something deeper going on.
So, I gotta ask—what’s the real story here? Has Pa’s past finally caught up with him? Because from where I’m sitting, this doesn’t feel like a regular ol’ business decision. This feels like unfinished business.
And speaking of unfinished business, let’s talk about this so-called ranch rebranding. The Kingridge Ranch is now Family-Friendly… Y’all, I can’t even say it with a straight face.
Look, I get it. Image matters, especially when the oldest brother settles down with a sweet single mom. But let’s not pretend the Kingridge boys are about to start hosting storybook hayrides.
This is the same ranch where a bachelorette party went viral for turning a mechanical bull ride into a full-contact sport. Y’all know the one. And if you don’t, bless your heart—you ain’t from here.
But it gets better, rumor has it the city girl they hired to clean up their image isn’t telling the full truth. Word on the street is, her daddy’s got deeper pockets than the Kingridge family vault. And get this—she’s out here trying to hide her last name like that’s gonna work in a town where the mailman knows what kind of cereal you buy.
Let me help you out, sweetheart—there are no secrets in Sagebrush Creek. It’s only a matter of time before someone spills all your tea. And I’ll be right here, microphone on, waiting to see how it plays out.
In the meantime, little miss no-last-name better be ready to work, because this weekend is VIP time. That’s right—the big boys are coming to town for one night only. Private horseback rides, gourmet meals, and five-star service better be ready at the ranch, because nothing says rugged cowboy lifestyle like truffle mac and cheese with imported bourbon.
And who are these high-rollers? I’m so glad you asked.
Get ready, ladies—the Southern Knights of the NFL are on their way to Sagebrush. If you’re wondering whether that’s the same football team that cut Fallon Kingridge from their roster and shipped his ass to Europe… You’d be correct.
Oof. Can you imagine? The team that benched you now sipping cocktails in your childhood backyard while you’re halfway across the world? Y’all, I don’t know how I’d handle that, but I sure as hell know I’d need more than a stiff drink.
And as if things weren’t spicy enough, Findlay Farms is coming in hot. That’s right—just down the road, the Findlay boys are adding more guest cottages to their operation.
Hey farmers, trying to get in on the Kingridge action, huh? Bold move. But let’s be real—cute little cottages aren’t gonna be enough to take the Kingridge brothers down. You’ll need something bigger than that to compete with our small-town royal ranch out here in Sagebrush Creek. While I’m on it, someone tell Travis to head back to his own tavern next time he feels like starting a fight.
Now, before I sign off, I keep getting the same question in my inbox— "Why do you use a voice disguise? Who are you even??"
Well, honey, let me answer that real simply. Who would trust me if they knew I held all the cards? I can’t tell you. But I have some friendly advice, quit worrying about me and keep yourself out of the gossip in the first place. I don’t make the news, honey… I just call it like I see it.
And on that note—this has been another episode of Boots & Bitching Podcast. I am your bitch with boots on the ground. Y’all act right with them football boys in town. I’ll be watching.