15. Boots and Bitching Podcast
CHAPTER 15
BOOTS AND BITCHING PODCAST
Well, well, well. Would you look at that? Finally, a little gossip that doesn’t have Kingridge Ranch stamped all over it. But don’t you worry sugar, we’ll get to the tea on those boys in a minute. Y’all put your work up and come by. You don’t want to miss this.
Word around town is that Misty Jo Parker—yes, the same Misty Jo who swore off men after her second divorce—was caught in the back of Cowboys Feed & Supply getting real cozy with none other than Deacon Randy. And not in a let’s pray on it kind of way.
Now, I’m not saying Pastor Brown’s right-hand man was laying hands in the biblical sense, but when Jolene Randy came storming in with a sack of chicken feed, it sure wasn’t to pick up supplies. Sounds like they could all use some Jesus in their lives if you ask me.
Now let’s mosey on over to the SOW Much Farmers Market, where Patty June is up to her usual tricks. This time she’s peddling goat milk that supposedly has healing powers. That’s right, folks—one sip and suddenly your bum knee is brand new, your sciatica is cured, and your ex’s bad decisions don’t haunt you at 2 AM.
Now, I’d call it a crock of cow patties, but the out-of-towners? Oh, honey, they’re lining up like it’s the fountain of youth in a glass bottle. And if I see one more influencer trying to bottle-feed themselves on the courthouse steps, I’m gonna need a refund on my faith in humanity.
But hey, if you witness someone hobble in with a cane and cartwheel out, you just let me know. I’ll be the first in line with my money. Until then, I’ll keep my dignity and that’s more than Patty June can say, ain’t it?
Speaking of spending too much on things that may or may not be worth it—the Farm to Table Dinner Gala and Auction is just around the corner.
If you haven’t bought your formalwear yet, you’d better hurry before all that’s left are dresses fit for a saloon girl with poor judgment. And before you ask, yes, Mayor Bellcourt will be there, and no, I don’t think it’s just to enjoy the braised beef.
Word is, he might finally make an announcement about the new easement. You didn’t hear it from me, but it’s awfully close to the ranch that his ex-wife and young son now call home… I don’t like to gossip but speaking of the mayor and his favorite group of ranchers… I have a little tea to follow up on.
As it turns out, the water shortage incident out at the ranch was a gift from Mayor Randolph Bellcourt to the guys. My guess is that it was a personal thank you to Alex for taking his ex-wife and son in. Maybe the mayor’s got that jealous streak out of his system now, but I wouldn’t bet on it with the size of that man’s ego.
And that brings us to the main event—the boys of Kingridge Ranch.
For those keeping score at home, Alex and Bowen are officially off the market. But don’t despair just yet, darlings, because that still leaves five very eligible cowboys roaming the land. Or six, if you believe the stories about Danner. But let’s focus on the ones we know are in the line of inheritance.
The remaining Kingridge boys are wound tighter than Thrusty the goat, and it’s only a matter of time before one of them cracks. So ladies of Sagebrush Creek, who’s next? Who’s gonna be the lucky lady who ropes herself a royal cowboy? Priya’s sweet, bless her heart, but I think it’d be nice to see a true hometown girl take the crown next time. Just my opinion and since y’all don’t know who I am, you can take it with a grain of salt.
That’s all for now, darlings. But don’t worry—I’ll be here, watching. Because there’s always more to the story. Until next time, your bitch with boots on the ground.