22. Chapter 22
Chapter 22
Grayson
I rarely require an alarm to wake me. After years of rising at the same time, unless I was drunk the night before, my body’s internal clock knows when it’s time to get moving.
There’s an incessant beeping that can only be my alarm, and I just want it to turn the fuck off. My eyes scrunch tighter against the persistent noise. Still, the dim light that fills the room is just as bright behind my pinched eyelids.
I must have gone hard after the rodeo. My head throbs, and the post-events memories are fuzzy. I remember the anger with Tate and the beaming smile River gave me before I climbed on that nasty bull. I recall the ride. It had been…
That dismount. The slam into the wall. River’s screams as she tried to get to me.
I couldn’t get up.
I promised her I would always come home to her.
With a groan, I fight to open my eyes now, hoping she’ll be right there.
It’s a struggle to obey. The weight of my eyelids like stones used to build the pyramids. They’re just little pieces of skin. How could they be so hard to open? Then I realize where I must be.
The hospital.
The beeping is the monitoring machine checking my vitals.
I drag in a deep breath, my body screaming in agony against the forced expansion. The exhale, just as painful.
“Gray,” I hear my name whispered. And suddenly I don’t have the urge to open my eyes.
I don’t want to see the expression painted on my brother’s face when I open them. Doesn’t matter what it is. He’s not the one I want at my bedside.
If River isn’t here, I know it’s for a good reason. My injuries wouldn’t have scared her away. She’s not the type. This is her area of expertise. Yet, I can’t help but wonder if she, too, won’t want to see me like this. If she’ll wonder if this is the future she is shackling her life to.
“Ri…” I try to force her name past my lips, but my throat is dry. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth as if thick cotton has tangled around it. “Ri…” I try again.
“Shh. Don’t try to talk. She’s home.”
Something in my chest explodes. Tate said she was home. Not working. Not getting coffee or in the bathroom. But home. Maybe my fears hold legitimacy.
“Ri… Where?” I croak. My eyes still won’t open, and I don’t want them to.
The weight of my brother’s large palm settles on my shoulder. Though the touch is soft, I’m sensitive enough his palm is like an elephant I can’t shake off.
“Joy took her to your house. She’ll likely be back in a few hours. I’ll call her and tell her you’re awake.”
“Tell… Love… Her.” My throat burns with the effort of those three words.
“I’m not telling her that, but you will once you’re up.”
The thunk of his heavy boots vibrates through my head. The ache pounding so violently, I squeeze my eyes tighter against the pain.
The creak of hinges to follow only sharpens the hammer striking inside my skull, my teeth grinding against it. More light filters into the room before it once again dims.
“I hear you’re awake, Mr. Garrison.” A soft, but chipper voice sounds next to me.
Who the hell is that?
It’s not River. The voice isn’t husky enough. Not my woman.
I can only groan as the woman says something else I’m not quick enough to process.
“Mr. Garrison, can you open your eyes for me?”
I resume that same fight of trying to blink them open, but fail. It’s not going to happen.
“That’s okay, honey.” Gloved fingers brace against my arm, moving the aching limb before the blood pressure cuff squeezes tight. “Okay, vitals look good. The doctor will be in soon.”
This time I listened to her retreat. Maybe it’s her shoes or the fact that she just doesn’t stomp around the way Tate does like he owns the fucking world, but her absence reminds me I’m here alone. I want River, not my lying ass brother.
Not right now. Not with those lies he spewed in my face and pretended they were nothing more than dirt under our boots, but were everything. My past, present, and future are all in my brother’s hands now.
Doesn’t matter.
This time, I’m done with him.
My body is growing heavy. That deep, painless sleep is grasping at me. Pulling me under the dark depths of whatever medication the nurse must have just given me. My limbs are becoming weightless, and the pounding in my skull is dulling.
Maybe when I wake the next time, River will be here.
It’s unclear how long I was out when I once again hear Tate’s voice. It seems to thunder through the room, but the throbbing headache has dulled enough that it’s not painful to listen to his words.
Words that begin to unravel me.
I’m not sure if my brother thinks I’m awake or not, as he says all the things that have clearly been on his mind. Confessions, I’m not sure he wanted to give me. Feelings neither of us would want to admit to the other if they were true.
We’ve spent so many years fighting one another. I truly thought that the day we’d met for a drink might be a turning point. One River has insisted I should consider. It’s not worth keeping a world of distance between us when we both clearly share as much love for one another as resentment. Forever shifting amounts of each tipping the scales this way and that.
I knew she was right, but those years tangled with my frustrations over my brother were stronger than her words. Even now, as he speaks his piece, they still are.
He lied to my face.
To my knowledge, Tate has never purposely lied to me. We sling hateful words, but dishonesty was never part of our back-and-forth tussle. Dad brought us up with better values than that.
River comes back to mind. She, too, has a strained relationship with her brothers. One different from ours. They walked away when her parents did, and she let them. Tate just hovers over me like a black cloud that never fucking dissipates.
“Shh,” I groan.
“Hey.” There’s a soothing tone to Tate’s voice. One he used when we were boys and I was upset over some youthful injustice. For me, it was usually accidentally letting an animal loose or the time Dad lost his shit because I flipped a tractor. The scar along the length of my forearm seemingly burning with the memory.
“Stop. Talk-ing.” The words are gravely and harsh, escaping in a voice that isn’t mine.
“Do you need the nurse?”
I tilt my head back and forth a few times, that headache roaring to life again, but for the first time, my eyes flutter open.
“Ri-ver.”
“She’ll be here soon. I spoke to her about an hour ago. Said she has to take care of your boys, Rocket, and her cows.”
My brother’s brow scrunches as if confused about River’s morning list.
But a tiny grin pulls at the corner of my mouth. It’s not that she’s trying to care for the farm. She’s done that every day. It’s that she made it ours.
Ours .
Mine and hers.
My eyes flutter shut again, but I can still feel Tate’s presence beside me. This time I can ignore it because I know my woman is still mine. No question.
He can stay only because he gave me the best gift. My heart will be here soon. She hasn’t abandoned me.