36. Chapter 36
Chapter 36
Grayson
I t’s been two weeks since I proposed. Behind closed doors, we’re perfect. That bubble we found the day I asked River to legally be mine holding strong. But the moment we step outside our front door, it pops.
I’ve noticed River wears her ring on a long chain. She can hide it beneath her clothes when we’re out in public that way. A way to avoid the probing questions and comments that automatically toss her walls high. Walls I’ve worked my ass off to demolish.
It’s been a fight to keep my mouth shut, accepting the trade-off of her constant touch in public. PDA was never her thing, but now it’s like she needs my hands on her body to function.
A win is a win.
We knew this would be a process. My patience would need to remain intact to push through it. A virtue that’s only improved with that woman at my side.
It’s my first official day back at the ranch. I’ve done some minor work here and there, but not in a full capacity. Neither Tate nor River would allow it until the doctor gave me a clean bill of health.
With that finally behind me and a fiancé at home, I feel like a new life is just beginning.
It’s funny, after the first near-death accident, I didn’t feel the same way. It didn’t feel like I got another chance to make better choices. All I could think about was busting my ass to get back to where I was so I could pick up exactly where I left off. Though that wasn’t the path, this is a better one.
“Mornin’ Gray,” one of the ranch hands salutes me with his hat.
“Morning.”
“Glad to have you back.”
“Feels good to be back,” I flash him a smile. He jerks wildly as if I’ve terrified him.
My carefree smile wasn’t something I gave away so freely before. Sure, when we were messing around and cracking jokes, they may have seen it, but even this feels different. It’s the one River gets every day. The type that brings out those crinkles at the corners of my eyes and the laugh lines around my mouth. Valleys River insists on tracing as we lie on the couch, cuddled up under the blankets.
“This beard doesn’t hide your happiness when you let it show,” she tells me, picking at the coarse strands.
Heading up to the offices, I stop at Tate’s, rapping lightly on his open door. “Hey,” he greets me plainly, looking up from a stack of paperwork.
“Hey. Just letting you know I’m here. I’ll get things organized out there.”
“Gray.” I pause at the way he says my name. “Thank you for doing this with me. This place wouldn’t feel like a home without you.”
Emotion chokes the words in my throat. Tate and I don’t communicate like this, but we’re trying. Both of us have put more effort into being intentional with our words and walking away when we can’t be.
“I want to tell you something.” I take a step into his office. He leans back in his chair, his matching eyes boring into mine. “River and I are engaged.” I assume River told Joy, but I should have been the one to pick up the phone and tell my brother the news. Not someone else. Certainly not his girlfriend through word of mouth.
He only snickers, shaking his head. “I know.”
“What? But I didn’t—” He knew I was going to propose. I’d told him the morning we met in town.
“No one told me, Gray. We may not get along, but you’re my brother. I know you. If she’d said no, you would have been stomping around here snarling at everyone for so much as breathing in your direction. But you’ve been pleasant. Happy.”
“I should have told you that day.” I drop my head, shame washing through me. Tate is the last family I have left, and it was easier to hold on to my grudge than share such important news with him.
“I get why you didn’t, but I’m happy for you. You deserve someone as amazing as River.”
“Thanks. And Joy?”
“We’ll get there.” He goes back to his paperwork, and I leave, my heart lighter knowing we’d made another bit of progress.
It’s a grind organizing every person who normally works on the ranch and those who also help with the rodeo side of things. They haven’t had formal leadership in some time, but not a single person contests me being their new boss.
In a way, I’d always led them naturally, but they chose to follow me then.
Surprisingly, they welcome me and Tate taking over. Insisting that the place needed younger blood that could give themselves over to the place. And there was no one better than the Garrison brothers. The two who grew up here. Spent their lives here. Sewed their hearts and souls into the dirt here.
This place is home as much as the one I share with River is.
Everything aches from the day. It was great to get back into the swing of things, but it was also a reminder of how I haven’t gone all out since the brain injury.
“Hey, Gray! You stickin’ around for amateur night?”
I hadn’t planned to. River took the day off, so she doesn’t need to be picked up, but I was eager to get home to her. To hold her and tell her how well the day went.
“Maybe a few rides,” I grin, following my buddy to the ring.
“You should get out there.”
My pulse races. Not out of fear, exactly. At least not the typical kind. I’ve been on practice bulls here and there since the injury, but wasn’t sure when I would get back in the ring. For once, it was no longer a priority. Making my woman happy was top of mind. Maintaining our home. Ensuring we had a future.
“Yeah, I should.” My voice trembles slightly, but he angles me toward the chute.
My hands shake, remembering what it was like to get on a bull last time. I debate calling River. I should tell her. If something happens…
No, I can’t think like that.
Strapping on some chaps, a vest, and a helmet, I settle onto the first bull primed for the night.
He bucks and slams into the wall with every movement. The crash of my heart into my rib cage so painful, I wonder if it will bust right through. My hands still shake, and my breaths escape in heavy pants. The urge to jump off almost stopping me from letting them open that chute door.
“It’s not just you anymore.” River’s words ring through my mind.
“You ready, Gray?” someone asks me.
Time slows. A ragged breath dragged in and then out before I nod.
That chute door pops open, and the bull charges out. Like so many I’ve ridden, he’s agile. He kicks and spins and even almost nosedives into the dirt, but I hang on.
Time slows as it always does, my heart racing toward a finish line I hope we’ll find. Where the crowd can make my mind go blank, tonight it whirs with possibilities. The good and the bad. But I hang onto her. I hang onto the image of River grinning up at me when I wake her in the morning, and my grip tightens.
One bull isn’t going to ruin this life for me. Not this time. Not ever.
The buzzer sounds, signaling the end of the eight seconds.
Hopping free, a cackling laugh leaves me. Riding has always felt like heaven to me. It’s been my place of freedom, solitude, and strength. And tonight it was all those things and more. Tonight, that ride was for me and Tate, and River. For a future that goes beyond putting myself at risk every time I go out there.
With a wide grin splitting my face, I shove the helmet into the first set of hands I see and head home.
My woman is waiting for me.