8. Clara
CLARA
Ifollow Cole’s truck down the wide main street of town, panic and anxiety causing me to grip the life out of the steering wheel.
I’m happy to get the hell out of that motel, especially after last night.
God, I can’t imagine what might have happened had Tommy not found the receipt with Cole’s number on the back.
But I also don’t know what I’m getting us into.
I don’t know this man. He could be a serial killer.
And here I am, following his big black truck as he takes us to his house. To stay.
I’ve never been this reckless before in my life. If it were just me, I’d probably be sleeping in the car—consequences be damned. But it’s not just me. I’ve got two innocent lives I’m responsible for. It’s my job to keep my kids safe, nobody else’s. God, I just hope I’m doing the right thing.
We continue driving south for about ten minutes or so, past fields of nothing. The occasional house or trailer fills the void, and a few oil rigs off in the distance, the big drills digging deep into the red dirt ground. And cactus. Cacti everywhere. It’s a whole other world than what I’m used to.
When Cole slows, his blinker flicking on, I do the same, turning onto a dirt drive surrounded by trees and bushes that opens to a clearing where a small house sits.
It’s in need of a paint job, and possibly a new roof if the rust is any indication, but it’s got character and charm, and it sure beats the motel.
I pull up, waiting in the car and watching as Cole climbs down from his truck.
And, as he does, I get a good look at him.
Like last night, he’s dressed in boots and jeans, and a T-shirt that hugs his muscular arms and broad shoulders.
Only today, he’s also filthy. From head to toe.
And I suddenly feel bad because I can only assume I’ve pulled him away from his work.
Cole waves a hand for us to follow, and I unfasten my seatbelt, glancing at Tom with a smile I hope looks optimistic, yet one I can feel shaking with doubt. “Alright, well, I guess this is it.”
We file out of the car, meeting Cole by the steps that lead up to a small porch, Billie clutching my hand, Tom walking ahead and eyeing everything scrupulously.
“Welcome,” Cole says, tipping his hat before walking up the steps. “As I said, it ain’t much, but—”
“No, it’s great,” I interrupt, smiling down at the kids. “Isn’t it guys?”
Cole opens the door and stands aside, letting us enter first.
“It doesn’t stink like feet!” Billie exclaims excitedly.
“Billie!” I hiss.
“Well, I mean, I do try.” Cole chuckles as he trails in after us.
“Sorry,” I mutter, feeling my cheeks flush.
Dismissing my apology with a wave, Cole walks through the front doorway, almost too big for the space, his presence overwhelming but not at all intimidating, just here, and obviously so.
“Kitchen’s in here,” he says. “And the bathroom.”
I follow him, getting a quick look at the small bathroom with nothing but a shower over a tub with a blue and white checkered curtain, a toilet, a small basin, and an even smaller mirror.
“Washer and dryer.” He points to a tiny mud room with a door that leads out to the side of the house.
“Bedrooms are back here.” He breezes past me, his boots echoing on the wood floor as he moves back through the small living room, and points to the two doors down the tiny corridor.
“There’s two singles in one, and—” He looks at me then, his eyes scanning me briefly as he says, “And my bed in the other.”
“Are you sure about this?” I ask him. “I feel bad for… kicking you out of your own home.”
He’s quick to shake his head. “I offered. Besides, like I said, I stay at the ranch during the week anyway, so weekends ain’t no different. A lot quieter in fact, which is nice.”
I nod slowly. I don’t know anything about ranches or cowboys, or what they even do day-to-day, but the last thing I would want is to displace someone.
“Alright, well…” Cole presses his lips together in the semblance of a smile, nodding once. “I’ll get outta your hair.”
“What do you say, kids?” I look at Tommy.
A small grin curls his lips. “Thanks, Cole.”
“You’re welcome, bud.”
“Bil?” I give Billie’s shoulders a little nudge, but instead of thanking Cole, she practically launches herself at him, throwing her arms around his waist and hugging him tight.
Cole startles, arms held out, uncertainty in his gaze as he looks at me.
“Sorry,” I murmur, attempting to pull Billie off him.
“S’okay.” He chuckles, patting her on her back tentatively.
“Thank you, Mister Cole.” Billie looks up at him, offering her most adorable, butter-wouldn’t-melt smile, one which he returns, full dimples and all.
“You got a sec?” His smile falters when he looks at me.
“Sure.” I nod. “Billie baby, you stay in here with your brother, okay?”
“Okay, Mommy.” She skips off into the bedroom, joining Tom.
Cole walks outside and I follow him to his truck, waiting while he opens the door and leans inside. Seconds later, he’s handing me a small box and my eyes flare when I see it’s a brand-new cell phone.
“I-I…” I shake my head. “I can’t accept—”
“Ain’t no landline inside,” he interjects gruffly. “And I need you to be able to reach me in case… I don’t know… the thermostat shits itself, or… whatever.” He shrugs one of his broad shoulders, reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck. “I put my number in there already.”
My shoulders sag with resignation, and I force a smile, taking the box.
“Fridge is fully stocked too.”
I gape up at him. “Cole…”
He holds a hand up, stopping me. “Use whatever you need. No big deal. Gonna go bad if you don’t.”
I feel myself deflate a little. I hate feeling so needy, but I can’t say it’s not a relief not to have to worry about scrounging up enough money to put food on the table for Tom and Billie. “Thank you. I’ll pay you back.”
He waves a hand, turning to leave.
“Actually,” I continue, causing him to pause. Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the money I tucked in there earlier. “Here.”
Cole looks down at my hand, one eyebrow quirking when his eyes lift to meet mine.
“It’s only fifty dollars. For the week,” I explain. “It’s all I’ve got. But as soon as I can find a job, I-I’ll pay you—”
“A job?” He interrupts me, eyebrows bunched. “What about the… the club?” I don’t miss the way he says it, gritted and gruff, almost like it pains him.
I scoff. “After I ran out last night, I doubt Bruce’ll have me back.”
He studies me for a long beat, the look in his eyes dubious. “Do you want to go back?”
“I mean, no—” I practically guffaw. “But no one else’s hiring. Besides, the tips were good, and… Aside from the occasional wandering hand, it was surprisingly safe.”
Cole nods slowly, staring down at me with an unreadable look in his eyes.
“W-what is it?” I shift on my feet, feeling small beneath the weight of his heady gaze, racking my brain with what I might’ve just said, and hoping I didn’t somehow unintentionally upset him.
“You leave Bruce to me,” he says, before hiking himself up into his truck.
And, before I can ask him what the hell he’s talking about, the roar of the engine floods the silent country air, and he’s backing out, offering me no more than a quick wave.
And it’s only when he’s gone, nothing but the lingering scent of diesel fumes left in his wake that I look down, realizing he never took my money.
As I sit on the porch steps, my hands cupped around a mug of tea, the afternoon sun starting to sink toward the horizon, painting the sky lilac and peach, I watch Billie as she lies on a blanket on the grass with her fluffy dog Curly perched next to her while she colors.
With nothing but the sound of the gentle afternoon breeze rustling through the leaves of the trees, and the distant chirp of a bird flying overhead, this is the calmest I’ve felt in as long as I can remember.
And for the first time in a long time, I can actually breathe without the constant threat of fear clutching around my chest and squeezing to the point of pain.
I know this isn’t our house, and it’s only temporary, but as I watch Billie humming a tune to herself, happily kicking her bare feet, coloring outside of the lines without so much as a care in the world, I know I made the right decision.
Not only to accept Cole’s offer of help, but to leave the nightmare we lived for so long behind.
I don’t think I will ever rid myself of the permanent twist of anxiety that rolls low in my belly at the thought of him out there looking for us, and the very real almost certain possibility that, one day, he might find us.
But I need to push it aside for the moment and allow myself these breaths.
We can always run again if we have to. Hell, I’ll never stop running if it means my babies will be safe.
But right now, in this moment, we’re okay, and that’s all that matters.
I’m startled by a shudder vibrating against my thigh, jumping only to remember the cell phone Cole gave me. My cell phone, apparently. Pulling it out of my pocket, I see his name on the screen, notifying me of a new text message.
Cole: I’ll be there at 7:30.
My eyebrows tug together as I read his message a couple of times. Immediately I assume he’s sent it to me in error. He probably meant to send it to a friend, or a colleague, or a girl perhaps. A guy like Cole probably has at least a few of those waiting in the wings.
Me: I think you sent this to me by mistake.
Less than a few seconds later, the phone starts to ring in my hand, Cole’s contact flashing on the screen, and with a moment’s pause, I slide to answer.
“Hello?”
“You’re workin’ tonight.” Cole’s voice cuts through the phone in lieu of a greeting.
“Huh?”
“At the club,” he continues. “Bruce didn’t call you?”
I sit up a little straighter then, the calm I felt moments ago suddenly replaced by panic as I look around for what, I don’t know. “I-I… no. He didn’t. I assumed after last night I—”
“I stopped by and… had a chat with him,” Cole interrupts my stammered ramblings, and I can’t help but balk. He went and talked to Bruce for me? Before I can say anything, he continues. “He said you’re scheduled on at eight and not to be late.”
I glance at Billie, turning to look over my shoulder at Tom through the open front door, inside, lying on the sofa reading his favorite book. “I-I don’t think I can—I’m not about to leave the kids alone again. I know they’re safe here, but after last night, I—”
“Like I said, I’ll be there at seven thirty,” Cole says firmly. “I’ll keep an eye on the kids while you’re gone.”
I snap my mouth shut, taken aback by his words. “I… I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t ask me,” he says simply. “I’m offerin’.”
“Cole, I—” I don’t even know you, I don’t say because I can’t. It’d be rude to decline his offer based on that, considering we’re literally living in his house. Chewing on my nail, doubt and unease fester in the pit of my chest.
“I’ve got some work to do in the barn anyway,” he continues like it’s no big deal. “Do they like pizza?”
“Does who like pizza?”
He snorts a laugh. “Your kids…”
“Oh—” I shake my head, trying to snap myself out of whatever daze I’m currently trapped in. “Um… yeah, but you don’t have to—”
Cutting me off, he speaks again, “I’ll be there at seven thirty.” And, with that, the call goes dead, and I look down at the screen to find it black, trepidation prickling my skin.