26. Clara
CLARA
At thirty-three years old it’s kind of embarrassing to admit that I haven’t been on a lot of dates in my life.
I think maybe three. The price of being an asshole magnet, I suppose.
But it’s safe to say that Cole is most definitely not an asshole.
And here, with a belly full of tacos, on a soft blanket laid out in the back of his truck with nothing but the glow of the moon and the stars overhead, in the middle of a desolate field of nothing, as a country music song plays softly from inside the cab, this might just be the top contender for best date ever.
I know, who am I to judge? I don’t have much to go by.
But I can’t remember a time I’ve ever had this much fun, and we’re literally just sitting here on his tailgate, talking about nothing and everything all at once.
“Where are we?” I ask suddenly, getting a better look at our surroundings. Nothing but dirt and long grass span the distance, cacti, boulders, tumbleweeds and a night sky that looks as if it goes on and on, far beyond the end of the world.
“Rattlesnake,” Cole says almost like I should’ve known.
I can’t help but balk. “The ranch?”
He sniffs a laugh. “Yep.”
“Are we allowed to be here?”
He nods.
“Exactly how big is this place?” I scan the vista again. There’s literally nothing, no lights, no buildings, no one around. The rest of humanity could cease to exist right now, and we’d be none the wiser.
“Big,” is all he says. “Second biggest cattle ranch in the panhandle.”
My eyes widen as I stare out at the darkness, to the silhouette of jagged mountain peaks in the distance. “Is it… safe?”
“You’re safer here than anywhere else in the world,” Cole says, and by his no-bullshit tone I can tell he’s serious.
“But it’s so open, so… barren,” I whisper. “Anyone could be out there.” Immediately my mind goes to Cain.
“Anyone who walks onto this ranch that shouldn’t be here,” Cole begins, flashing me a look as he continues, “they ain’t leavin’.”
I stare at him for a long moment, trying to process the meaning between his words and again, I’m pretty sure he’s serious.
He flashes me a grin then, as if to try and lighten the sudden darkness of the mood. “Only thing you gotta worry about ’round here are mountain lions, bobcats, coyotes and rattlesnakes.”
“Oh, so no big deal, then?” I deadpan.
“Why do you think I keep a gun in my truck?” Cole chuckles, nudging me playfully with his shoulder when I practically gawk at him. “Don’t worry, darlin’. I’ll protect you.”
My cheeks heat but instead of responding with something that would probably just embarrass me, I sip my homemade Mexican lemonade, looking down and kicking my feet as they dangle over the tailgate, smiling at my boots.
Mama Joy brought me and the kids a whole box of hand-me-downs when she came over to the house earlier.
Boots and hats for Tommy and Billie. Boots for me.
I tried to decline the offer because it’s all real-deal stuff—expensive looking genuine leather—but she insisted.
I really like her. She’s the mom I never had.
But I get the feeling she’s the mom everyone never had.
“You think you can get off work, the weekend of the sixteenth?” Cole asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
I arch a brow looking at him. “May?”
He nods.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “I’m not sure what Bruce is like with time off. I can ask.”
Cole grins. “I got invited to this massive rodeo. It’s kind of a huge deal. The head coach of the Texas team is gonna be there, and if I ride good then, my agent thinks I’ll get a spot on the team.”
My eyes widen. “Oh wow, Cole. That’s amazing.”
He chuckles. “You have no idea what any of that means, huh?”
I twist my lips to the side, looking out over the darkness in contemplation. “Honestly, no. But I can tell it’s a big deal.”
“You’re so fuckin’ adorable,” Cole mutters with another laugh, shaking his head.
He reaches over and hesitates a moment before taking my hand in his, fingers interlocking with mine as he rests our clasped hands on his jean-clad thigh, and my heart dances over a few beats at the feel of his calloused thumb stroking my skin.
“The pro-circuit is my goal,” he continues after a moment. “The NbrA started a team tour, for riders from the pro-circuit to compete during the off season. And if I can get on a team and show ’em what I got, then I’m almost guaranteed direct entry into the pro-circuit come the new year.”
I search his eyes, watching as the light of the moon flickers in his gaze.
The way he talks about riding, with such passion and determination.
It’s easy to see that bull riding isn’t just some pipe dream for Cole.
It’s not something he wants just to want it.
It’s his mission in life. And no matter what, I can tell he’s the kind of guy who won’t stop until he makes it his reality.
And, if I’m being honest, that’s all kinds of sexy. I’ve never met a man more dedicated.
“The event’s in Fort Worth,” Cole continues, looking down at our hands, an uncharacteristic shy smile ghosting his lips when his gaze slides back up to meet mine. “I’d love for you to be there… with me.”
I feel my cheeks heat and I dip my chin, forced to avert my eyes because it feels almost intimate. Almost too much, but also not nearly enough. “I’d love to. If Bruce lets me, that is.” I shrug, my eyes finding his again.
Cole leans in closer, playfully knocking his shoulder with mine again and flashing me a wink. “You leave Bruce to me, darlin’.”
Again, the look in his eyes and the way he calls me darlin’, it hits me deep in my center, my cheeks flushing on their own accord and I’m forced to look away.
“Wanna dance?”
I snap my head up at his question, my brows pulling together. “Dance?”
He nods and then, letting go of my hand, he crawls up the bed of the truck and I watch the entire length of his upper body disappear in through the open back window, his firm, Wrangler covered ass right there in my line of sight.
I have to bite back a bubble of laughter when I hear him mutter a curse from inside, but then I notice the volume increase on the stereo, a pretty tune snuffing out the silence.
Cole returns, looking a little flushed. He jumps down off the tailgate, landing easily on his feet and moves to stand right in front of me, holding out his hand. “Care to dance, pretty lady?”
I smile, moving to slide down off the truck, but before I can, Cole grabs me by my waist and effortlessly lifts me, helping me down to the ground, so careful and gentle.
When I find my feet, I’m caught off guard by just how close we suddenly are and when I look up at him, catching his eyes, he makes no effort to remove his hands from my waist, his gaze momentarily dipping to my lips and again, all I want is for him to kiss me.
More than air, more than water, more than life, I need him to kiss me.
But, yet again, instead of kissing me, he releases his hold of my waist and tugs me closer until I’m flush against him, one arm wrapping around me, the other holding my hand.
I place my other hand against his broad shoulder, staring into his eyes as we sway to the music playing from the truck but then a thought crosses me, interrupting the magic and causing me to look down at the ground.
“There’re no snakes around here right now”—I look up, meeting his eyes—“are there?”
He laughs. “Trust me, you ain’t got nothin’ to worry about, baby, I promise you.”
“I don’t know if I believe you,” I admit, narrowing one eye. “But… I trust you.”
Cole’s grin fades to a barely-there ghost a of smile as he says, “That’s all I want, darlin’. For you to trust me.”
Taken aback by his unexpected words, I feel my heart tug on something unfamiliar in my chest. “Cole,” I say on a breath, lost for words.
“You’re so pretty, Clara,” he whispers, interrupting whatever it was I was going to say.
I never know what to respond with when someone mentions my looks. Whenever I’m complimented, I find myself cowering in on myself, my insides clenching with awkwardness, my mind wondering if they’re being serious.
“You are,” Cole says after a moment of silence, ducking down so his forehead is touching mine. “I need you to know that but I feel like you don’t believe me.”
“It’s always pretty, or beautiful… but then suddenly it’s disgusting,” I admit quietly, noticing the way Cole’s body bristles, his arm around me tightening a touch.
“Or messy. Or useless. Or… pathetic.” I shake my head at myself and meet his hard stare with a forced smile. “But… thank you… I guess?”
“You’re goddamn beautiful, Clara,” Cole says after a tension-filled pause, his words practically gritted through clenched teeth. “And you take my fuckin’ breath away. You have ever since the first moment I laid my eyes on you.”
I duck my chin, the awkwardness getting the better of me, but he stops me, dropping my hand and tucking his finger beneath my chin, forcing my eyes back to his.
“Say it.”
My brow furrows as I look between his eyes, searching. “Say what?”
“I’m beautiful.”
I hesitate, rolling my lips together, the words burning like acid on the tip of my tongue.
“Please, Clara,” Cole begs after a few seconds, his voice laced with an edge of torment, as if my inability to voice the words he needs me to say is physically painful. “I need to hear you say it, baby.”
I swallow around the lump of trepidation stuck in my throat, licking my lips. “I’m… b-beautiful.”
“Good girl,” he whispers, so softly I almost miss it, the words causing a swirl of want to twine inside of me.
Cole cups my cheek then, the calloused pad of his thumb stroking my warm skin, his smile barely there as he stares deep into my eyes before dipping to my lips, returning to my gaze only to ask, “Can I kiss you?”
I release the breath I’ve been holding, my body sagging with the weight of relief. “Yes,” I practically pant out.
Cole rears back a touch, lips twitching. “Sounds like you’ve been hopin’ I’d ask, baby?”
“I have,” I admit shamelessly. “Desperately.”
“Yeah?” His voice is suddenly lower, deeper, his gaze dipping to my lips again.
“Yes. Please kiss me,” I beg on a trembling whimper.
“Fuuuuck.” Cole groans under his breath. And suddenly it’s as if whatever restraint had been tethering his resolve together snaps, and his lips crash to mine in a kiss so full of desperation it steals every last part of my breath.