30. Clara
CLARA
My heart races hard, slamming against my chest almost to the point of pain as I stare down at the paperwork in front of me.
All the words and tick boxes are blurring through the tears I’ve been trying so hard to contain, it’s impossible to see straight.
With Billie wrapped around me, unable to let me go, her little body still trembling, I’m a mess of emotions trying to juggle everything, all without falling apart myself.
I need to be the strong one. That’s my job.
When the ambulance brought us here to the hospital, I was in shock.
The only thing I was worried about was making sure that the kids were okay.
But now, as Tommy lies on the bed, his arm in a cast while we wait for the doctor to come by and give us the all clear, all I can think about as I stare down at this form, at all our personal identification details printed at the very top, is that not only are we at serious risk of Cain finding us, but that I very much do not have the insurance to pay for whatever this is all going to cost.
With a trembling hand, I start to fill out the form which is when I hear the distant sound of raised voices coming from the other side of the curtain. My brows draw together when I realize the commotion sounds suspiciously like Cole.
“No, I ain’t the goddamn father,” he gruffs.
“Only immediate family allowed, sir,” the stern nurse says.
“I am immediate family,” Cole huffs. “I’m… the brother.”
“The brother?”
“Yeah…”
My lips twitched at the uncertainty in his tone.
“Of the woman whose surname you don’t know?”
“We got different daddies.”
“Mm-hmm.”
I place the paperwork onto the spare chair, leaning over to press a kiss to the top of Billie’s hair with a whispered, “You wait here with your brother, baby. I’ll be right back.”
Hopping up, I duck around the curtain, searching the space before my eyes land on the familiar set of broad shoulders belonging to the mussed-haired man standing at the nurse’s station.
He looks every bit the handsome cowboy. Hat in hand, dust covered shirt, and leather chaps over his jeans, and my heart shifts in my chest because he really did come straight here.
I hurry over, placing a hand on Cole’s back as I approach. “Hey…”
He startles, spinning around, eyes wide as they take me in. Cupping my face between his big hands, he studies me closely, zeroing in on the red friction burns on my forehead and cheek before ducking down and pressing soft kisses to the marks.
My eyes flit to the nurse right in time to see her offer a deadpan look. “Brother, huh?”
Cole ignores the woman, and I offer her an apologetic smile as he takes my hand and walks me away.
“Shit, baby,” Cole whispers, pulling me flush against him when we’re out of earshot of the nurse. Cupping my cheeks again, he stares down at me, his eyes wide as they search mine.
“I’m okay,” I tell him, placing a hand over his chest. When I feel just how fast his heart is racing, I force a smile I know doesn’t meet my eyes. “I am, I promise.”
“What happened?”
I shake my head, trying to remember what happened. Honestly, it’s all a blur. One minute we were driving along the road that leads out to Rattlesnake Ranch, the next minute the car was spinning out of control.
“I think I hit something. Or ran over something.” I shake my head again, closing my eyes tight. “I-I can’t remember. All I know is that I lost control and we went off the side of the road.” When I look up again, I notice the way Cole’s jaw clenches, the muscle in his cheek ticking.
“I didn’t have any cell service so I couldn’t call you,” I tell him. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey, now”—Cole ducks down, catching my eyes, his thumb gently tracing the curve of my cheek—“what’d I tell you about apologizin’ to me, baby?”
I try for a small smile, but I know it’s weak. “We were just lucky that Deputy Cruz was driving by when he did.”
Cole nods once, and I’m not sure if I’m imagining it when I see a flicker of something flash in his eyes, but it’s gone almost immediately.
“The kids are alright?”
I nod. “Tommy’s in a bit of pain and Billie’s really shaken, but they’re okay.”
Turning, I lead Cole back across the walkway to our designated bay, and as I pull open the corner, I notice the way both Tom and Billie’s eyes light up at the sight of him, and I feel my own heart clench.
Cole has this way of making everything feel like it’s going to be okay, just by his presence alone.
“Hey bud.” Cole approaches the side of the bed tentatively. “How you doin’?”
“I’m okay.” Tom nods, chin held a little higher than it had been moments ago.
Cole reaches out and gently ruffles his hand through Tom’s disheveled mop of hair before turning to meet Billie’s eyes from where she’s seated in the chair, knees pulled up to her chest, thumb in her mouth.
“How you doin’, Miss Billie?” he says softly, walking around the foot of the bed and crouching down in front of her. “You okay, darlin’?”
“We had a car accident,” Billie murmurs around her thumb, clutching Curly to her chest.
“I know.” Cole nods, reaching out and ever so gently cupping her little face. “I bet it was real scary, huh?”
She nods again. “Tommy has a broked arm.”
Cole glances back at Tom. “I broke my arm when I was about your age.”
Tom’s eyes go wide. “Really? How?”
I notice the way Cole’s jaw ticks again, another flicker of something in his eyes, and my stomach knots because from that reaction alone I have a feeling I know exactly how his arm broke when he was ten. But before I can interject, Cole grins, shaking his head once.
“Actually, I-I can’t even remember,” he says, his gaze flitting to me momentarily. “But the coolest thing about a broken arm is you can get people to sign your cast. Make it look real badass.” Cole grabs the markers the nurse brought in for Billie to color with earlier.
“Can I?” Billie suddenly lights up, thumb popping from her mouth
“Sure!” Tom grins, sitting up a little prouder.
Cole stands and holds his hand out and Billie takes it without even hesitating, allowing him to guide her over to the bed.
Of course, she chooses the only pink marker she can find in the bunch before climbing up onto the bed next to her brother, and getting to work signing his cast with the utmost care and precision.
I pick up the billing paperwork and sit down, but before I can get to starting it, Cole takes a seat next to me, and I can feel his eyes on me. I glance at him to see his brows knitting together as he scans the papers.
“They have your details?” he asks, his voice a low murmur, full of concern.
“I was so panicked when I got here. I-I didn’t even stop to think. I… God, I don’t even have insurance,” I whisper, feeling tears prick my eyes again.
“Shh.” He hushes me softly. “It’s okay.”
Cole eases the paperwork from my trembling hands and, casting a fleeting glance at the kids, he leans in and presses a soft kiss to my cheek, lingering a moment as he whispers against my temple, “I got you, baby.”
I’m still half-swooning, half-trying to breathe from the feel of Cole’s lips on my skin before I even realize he appears to be going somewhere.
“Where are you going?” I ask him, confused. “The doctor should be here any minute.”
Cole smiles softly. “I’ll meet you guys out front.”
And then he’s gone, disappearing through the curtain and again, my uncertainty returns.
Looking from my wringing hands, to the empty seat next to me, to Billie and Tommy giggling obliviously as Billie draws something on her brother’s cast, my heart is beating to a chaotic rhythm when the curtain is suddenly yanked open once more, the doctor from earlier standing there with a big smile.
“Sorry to keep you, Miss Turner.”
I clear my dry throat, standing to meet the man with a wavering smile.
“Tommy is free to go,” the doctor says, handing me a prescription. “Just fill this and have him take one with food when and if the pain becomes a little too much to handle.”
“Thank you, Doctor.” I offer the man a slightly more controlled smile, all while wondering where the hell Cole went to.
By the time I’ve managed to wrangle the kids and collect all of our things, I walk them out, down the corridor that leads to the waiting room. Billie plays nurse and helps her brother as he struggles, and I can’t help but smile at the two of them.
When the security doors glide open, I see Cole standing there, waiting for us, arms folded across his chest, casual grin curling his lips as he approaches, placing a gentle hand on Tommy’s shoulder.
“Y’all ready to go?”
I look around then, scanning the waiting room.
“I have to give them the paperwork before we leave.” As I look back at Cole, it’s only then that I realize he no longer appears to have the paperwork he removed from my hands earlier.
“Do you still have it?” I ask, panic flaring in my chest because what if they don’t let us leave?
Wrapping his arm around me, Cole pulls me in, his lips finding my temple again with another kiss as he murmurs, “All sorted, baby.”
I rear back, gaping up at him because what?
“Don’t,” he says lowly, an unthreatening yet cautioning tone in his one-word warning like he just knows I’m on the verge of asking him a slew of questions, but can you blame me?
I don’t know what the hospital was planning on charging me, but I know it was bound to be somewhere in the thousands of dollars that I don’t have.
“Cole.” I spear him with a what the fuck look.
“Clara.” He meets me with a don’t even fucking think about it look, lips twitching to take the edge of the threat and, with a sigh, I reluctantly relent.
“Hey?” Cole urges me closer so that I’m forced to look up at him. When I do, I see a startling uncertainty in his gaze as he searches my own. “Please, Clara. Just let me help you. I want to help you.”
And I want to accept the help. I need to accept the help. But it’s a lot. Too much. Swallowing around the lump in my throat, I tamp my doubts down with a nod and a slightly forced smile.
Cole tucks his finger under my chin, steadying me with a knowing look. “Accept the help,” he says on a whisper, his eyes boring into mine. “Remember?”
I nod again, softening a touch. “Thank you.”
And with a barely-there yet full of meaning kiss peppered to my lips, we turn and join Billie and Tommy by the doors.
By the time we get back to Summer, it’s almost nightfall and it’s only now that I realize just how exhausted I am.
Worn through to the bone. Cole’s hand on my knee the entire drive has been like a tether, keeping me held together so as not to fall apart as the adrenalin I’ve been riddled with all day slowly begins to ebb.
I turn over my shoulder to check on the kids, finding Tommy asleep, head resting against the window, Billie watching him from the opposite side of the back seat, like she’s scared to take her eyes off him.
I’ve been checking on her constantly since we don’t have her booster, but I assured Cole it would be okay just this once.
I’m still in shock that Bailey let him take her Jeep to come all the way to Lubbock to get us.
Cole was right what he said to me that first day—it seems the people around here really do give a shit about each other.
When we pull off the country road and into the driveway, I’m taken aback to see Mama Joy’s truck parked out front, the lights on inside the house.
I glance sideways, meeting Cole’s eyes.
“I called her from the hospital,” he says as if to answer my unspoken question. “She insisted she stop by to get the house ready for when y’all got back. She’s… hard to say no to.”
And I should be grateful, relieved to have someone like Mama Joy—the kindest, most selfless woman I’ve ever met—here, helping, when she has the biggest event of the year happening back at her ranch.
But, at the risk of sounding ungrateful, it’s almost like it’s too much.
Overwhelming. It’s suddenly hard to breathe.
Before Cole even shuts off the engine, Mama Joy is rushing out of the house, a concerned look on her face, dish towel slung over her shoulder as she hurries down the steps.
“Hey, is this okay?” Cole asks, touching my hand and giving it a slight squeeze. “Because I can tell her to leave, if you need me to.”
“No, don’t do that.” I shake my head. “It’s… fine.”
He searches my eyes a moment before nodding once and killing the engine, and before I’m even out of the truck, Mama Joy is reaching in and wrapping her arms around me, hugging me so tight it knocks the wind out my lungs.
“Oh, you poor sweet thing,” she cries, pulling back and cupping my cheeks to get a good look at me. “Are you okay, baby?”
I swallow hard, and I know my smile is weak, but I don’t even have it in me to fake it. “I’m okay. Really.”
“I was so worried.” Mama Joy frowns, and I see the genuine concern in her eyes, which helps to ease some of the unwelcome frustration from my body. This woman truly cares about me and Billie and Tommy. I need to remember that, because she and Cole are really the only people we have in our corner.