34. Clara
CLARA
I’ve never felt sexy before. Or beautiful.
Or worthy. I’m sure it stems from the years spent with men who wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire, but I’m also not completely innocent.
After I had Tommy, I started putting myself second like most mothers do, and even now, I’m lucky to come equal ninth with the long list of priorities I put before my own needs.
But here, straddling Cole, with every flaw on display, the way he’s looking up at me, like I hung the moon and the stars and whatever else is up there, I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
A goddess. And for the first time in my life, I have this overwhelming sense of unexpected confidence that I can feel all the way through to my soul.
When Cole was lying on top of me, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Like a heavy darkness was pressed down on me, sucking the life out of me.
I could no longer see Cole, or those beautiful blue eyes.
He was just a silhouette of a man and of course, my mind went to him.
All I could see was darkness. But here, like this, feeling exactly how much I’m affecting him—I’ve never been on top before, and I don’t know how he knew because I sure as hell didn’t, but this is exactly what I needed.
“Get outta that pretty little head and come back to me, darlin’.”
I blink hard, meeting Cole’s eyes and placing my hands against his hard, warm chest to center myself. Shifting my weight on top of him, I feel him right there where I’ve never been needier than I am right now, and I suck in a gasp.
He flashes me a knowing grin. “That’s it,” he grits out, his hands on my hips encouraging my movements. “You feel that?”
I nod, clamping my bottom lip between my teeth and stifling my whimper at the feel of his hard length, at the shock of metal grinding against my core, the sound of my wetness amplified through the silence in the room. It should be embarrassing, but it only spurs me on.
“That’s what you do to me, darlin’.” Cole’s hands skate up and down my sides, causing goose bumps to flare over my sensitive skin.
My breath shudders when I feel the ring at the tip of his length graze my sensitive clit.
Cole sits up, wrapping one hand around the back of my head and staring deep into my eyes with a look that is positively searing. Pressing his lips against mine, he breathes against my mouth with a rasped whisper, “Make love to me, Clara.”
Kissing him urgently, I reach a hand down between us, finding his dick and reveling in the groan that rumbles from deep in his chest when I wrap my fingers around him. He’s big. Thick and long. And sure, part of me might be worried, but I want him. More than I’ve ever wanted a man. I need him.
Breaking our kiss only so I can shift up onto my knees, I stare deep into his eyes as I blindly position myself over him, my lips falling open when I feel his flared head notched at my entrance, and the cool graze of the ring.
Cole grips my hips almost to the point of pain.
But it’s a good pain, biting my skin to remind me that I’m the one affecting him this much.
Ever so slowly, I sink down onto him, feeling not only the delicious stretch, but every piercing with each inch I take.
My mouth falls open, but no sound comes out.
The feel of him filling me causes my stomach to bottom out like I’m back on that roller coaster, only this time I’m falling in a dizzying rush.
“Fuuuuck,” Cole breathes out, his voice a low growl.
All the air in my lungs dissipates when I’m fully seated, and spots dot my vision. I can’t remember a time I’ve ever felt so overwhelmingly full. Every fraction of movement sends a jolt through me, sparking something long forgotten deep, deep down inside of me.
I wrap my arms around Cole’s neck, holding on because I fear if I don’t, I might fall apart. Moving my hips, a shudder curls through me, and I’m forced to bury my face into his neck to contain my sounds.
“Chrissake,” Cole drawls and his words mixed with his feral sounds only encourages me, and I move again, with a little more conviction.
“That’s it,” he grits, lips skating against my ear. “Ride me, baby. Nice and slow. Just like that.”
I lift my head, my dazed gaze finding his penetrative stare, and between the way he’s looking at me, the feel of his cock hitting me in a place I’ve never felt before, and his hands on my ass, gripping me and urging me, I arch my back and roll my hips.
“Jesus Christ,” he utters, his head falling back.
I lean forward, dragging my tongue up his throat, over the jutting curve of his Adam’s apple and moaning at the salty taste of sweat on his skin, mixed with something yummy and so quintessentially Cole.
I kiss his stubbled jaw, pulling him closer to claim his mouth, my hips moving a little faster, a little more urgent, my clit grinding against him with every thrust.
“Fuck, Clara.” He groans into my mouth, jerking his hips up.
I whimper against his lips when I feel his cock graze against something deep inside of me, feel the occasional glide of the metal, it sends a wave of warmth through me, that telltale tingle beginning to spread through my belly.
“Ohmygod,” I utter, my breath catching in the back of my throat. Pulling back, I meet his eyes. “I’m so… c-close.”
“I know, darlin’.” Cole coos. “I can feel your pussy squeezin’ my cock. You’re doin’ so good, baby. So. Fuckin’. Good.”
He emphasizes his words with a thrust of his hips and between the feel of his dick, the look in his eyes, and the praise, my hips are moving hard and fast, eager yet sloppy, desperate.
“Cole,” I pant out.
“That’s it,” Cole rasps. “Come for me.”
My mouth falls open on a silent scream and Cole seals his lips around mine, swallowing my sounds as my orgasm rips through me, startling me with its ferocity and stealing all my breath, my body quaking with uncontrollable shudders.
“Fall apart, baby,” Cole gruffs into my mouth. “I’m here. It’s okay, I got you.”
I moan around his tongue, riding out my wave of pleasure, greedily taking all that I can, and falling apart just like he told me to.
His hands tighten, gripping my ass, and he grunts, taking over and thrusting up and into me, hitting me again and again.
It’s almost too much but the best kind of overwhelming all at once, my head a foggy mess of lust.
Cole groans, a throaty, gravely sound that reverberates through him and into me, as he grits into my mouth, “Fuck, I’m coming—”
I deepen our kiss, swallowing his sounds and his movements pause as a low growl climbs up the back of his throat, his body turning rigid.
“Shit, baby,” he chokes out, riding out his own orgasm, body shuddering with its release. I tear my lips from his, watching him as he comes.
“You’re so beautiful when you come,” I whisper breathlessly, peppering kisses over his jaw and burying my face into the crook of his neck when I sag against him, entirely spent and too floppy to move.
“Are you okay?” Cole asks after a few long, silent moments, his fingers dancing up and down my back.
“Mmmm.” I nod, hoping he accepts that a yes.
His low chuckle vibrates through his chest and into mine. “It feels like your pussy was made for me, darlin’.”
Unable to find words, I make another sound, nodding again.
“Still with me?” he asks after a pause, a smile in his voice.
I force myself to pull back enough to meet his eyes.
His lips curl up in a soft, lazy smile, thumb stroking my chin as he cups my cheek. “There’s my girl.”
“I love you,” I whisper on a sigh.
Cole shakes his head, staring deep into my eyes. “I’m so fuckin’ gone for you, Clara.”
Tears prick my eyes at the raw emotion in his words.
“Tell me you’re mine,” he whispers, resting his forehead against mine.
“I’m yours.”
He nods slowly. “Damn right, you’re fuckin’ mine.”
Movement in my bedroom pulls me from sleep, yanking me back to the land of consciousness.
When I spot a shadow lurking in the darkness, I grip the sheets, startling bolt upright despite every muscle in my body objecting, bringing memories of last night to rush back to me in a flood of warmth and lust that pools between my aching thighs.
“Baby, it’s okay. It’s just me.”
I blink hard a few times, squinting enough to see through the dim light trying to crack through the curtain, finding Cole standing at the end of the bed, fastening his belt.
“You’re leaving?” A flash of panic curls through me as I rack my mind with what I might possibly have done for him to want to leave.
Cole walks around the side of the bed, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress, and through the muted light of gray, I see a smile ghost his lips as he reaches out and cups my cheek. “I gotta get to work.”
“What time is it?” I croak, my throat thick with sleep.
“Early,” Cole whispers, leaning in to press his lips to mine. “Go back to sleep, darlin’.”
I sigh, allowing his kiss to envelop me, the sheet slipping from my grip and bunching at my waist. Cole pulls back just enough to allow his eyes to drift downwards, a slow smirk tugging at his lips. “Baby, you are killin’ me right now.”
“Don’t go,” I plead only half-heartedly because I know he has to.
“Don’t fuckin’ tempt me,” he warns with a playful grin.
I flutter my eyelashes innocently and he sniffs a laugh, claiming my lips once more in a kiss so full of promise, every last lingering shred of doubt slips away.
“I’ll call the garage today and ask ’em about your car,” Cole says, pulling away.
I nod. “Thank you.”
He winks, standing and walking back to where his things are hanging on the dresser, and I watch him get dressed, smiling to myself at the glorious pull of his muscles as he tugs his T-shirt on over his head.
“I love you,” I find myself saying before I can even consider the words.
Cole places his cowboy hat onto his head, steadying me with a soft look in his eyes. “I fuckin’ love you.”
My heart hitches in my chest at his declaration.
Picking up his boots, Cole carries them to the door and pauses, looking back at me with another dimpled grin, another slow wink. “Go back to sleep, baby.”