40. Clara
CLARA
My thigh muscles are aching in the best possible way after our shower, the memory of Cole inside of me causing a delicious throb to linger between my legs.
I have never been this into sex. It’s almost confronting.
Before Cole, sex was a chore and never enjoyable.
I lost count of the amount of times I would have to hold back tears while being intimate with Cain.
The times I would pretend to be asleep in the hope that I’d get out of it only to be woken by him.
I hated sex. But with Cole, it’s like I have this newfound need.
I want sex with Cole. I want to be intimate and close with him.
I want to do all the things with him. And I’ve never had that before.
“Ready?”
I stop on my way out of the bedroom, dressed to go collect Tommy and Billie from school, my brows knitting together at Cole standing there dressed, twirling his keys around his index finger.
“What’s… going on?” I look around, worried I’ve missed something.
“Let’s go get the kids from school.”
“Oh”—I rear back—“you don’t need to come.”
Cole shifts on his feet, and I snap my mouth shut when I realize that probably came across as rude.
“I mean,” I soften my tone, adding a smile, “you can, if you want. But… you don’t have to.”
Tugging on the back of his neck, Cole makes a point of looking out the window. “I don’t like the look of those clouds on the horizon.”
I follow the direction of his gaze, brow furrowing with confusion because, maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see anything more than the permanent haze that hangs over the mountains in the distance.
“Come on, darlin’,” Cole says, touching my waist. “Let’s go.”
Grabbing my purse, I follow him out of the house, to his Rattlesnake truck where he opens the passenger door for me, ever the gentleman.
I heave myself up into the lifted vehicle and nestle into the leather seat, smiling despite the weight of everything that’s happened today.
It’s probably dangerous of me to put so much stock into one person, but with Cole in my life, it really does feel like everything will work out.
“How long will we be here, Mommy?” Billie asks as I tuck her in.
After picking up the kids from school, they were confused that we weren’t going to Cole’s house, but excited to be coming to the ranch.
It didn’t hurt that Cole had a surprise in store for them when they got here; a ride in one of the ranch Gators, where he took them down to the stables to meet the horses.
They were gone for almost two hours, and by the time they got back to the house, both Billie and Tommy were convinced the ranch life was for them.
I take a seat on the edge of Billie’s bed, smiling from her to Tommy lying in the bed across the loft.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, shrugging. “I guess it depends on the weather.”
“I like it here,” Tommy says.
“Me too.” Billie grins.
“You guys get some sleep.” I lean in and press a kiss to Billie’s soft cheek before walking toward the steps.
“Mom?” Tommy says, causing me to stop at the top of the steps.
“What’s up, babe?” I meet his eyes.
“I like that Cole makes you happy.”
More than a little taken aback by his words, it’s the genuine love in his eyes when he says them that causes tears to bite the backs of my eyes.
Sometimes I forget just how mature Tommy is for a ten year old, how much he’s seen and heard over the years, the horrible things that caused him to lose so much of his childhood.
I cross the loft and stop at his bed, sitting on the edge and cupping his cheek with my head. “I like that Cole makes you and Billie happy, too.”
“He’s my best friend,” Tom confirms, his eyes flicking with something.
“I love that,” I whisper, smoothing my hand over his cheek.
“What about me?” Billie pipes up, her face fraught with concern as she gapes at her brother.
“It’s always gonna be you and me, Bil,” Tommy says, looking over at his little sister. “Promise.”
Seemingly satisfied by that, Billie rests her head back against her pillows with a contented sigh.
I wink at Tommy. “Love you.”
It’s dark downstairs, the only glow illuminating the space coming from the light over the stove.
The front door is open, and I walk out to find Cole sitting on the porch steps looking delicious in just a pair of black boxer briefs, his broad muscular back on display, a can of Pabst in his hand, another unopened by his side.
Turning to look over his shoulder, his gaze meets mine, eyes shining in the muted light, and I move to sit on the step next to him, but at the last second, he wraps his arm around my waist and guides me to sit on his firm thigh instead.
“They okay?” he asks softly, lips brushing against my shoulder.
“Yeah. They like it here.” I cast him a sidelong glance. “I think it was the horses.”
“Always does the trick.” Cole’s grin is smug.
I sniff a laugh, looking out over the darkness.
It’s eerie. Nothing but fields as far as the eye can see, the night sky stretched out high above.
I glance up at the sky then, noticing the stars and just how clearly they sparkle here where there are no city lights to dull their shine.
And it’s only then that it occurs to me; the weather sure doesn’t look inclement.
“When are these storms expected?” I ask.
“Any day,” Cole answers without missing a beat. “It’s… unpredictable.”
A thought occurs to me then, and my back pricks with instant worry. “What if they come at night? How will we know? Because I’ve seen Twister and I know how those things can fall out of the sky at any time, and how they’re almost invisible at night.”
“Hey, c’mon now.” Cole chuckles, squeezing my thigh reassuringly. “You know I would never put you or the kids in any kind of danger,” he says, steadying me with an all-consuming look. “You’re safe here. I promise.”
I roll my lips together, offering a weak smile.
“Also, Twister came out, like, thirty years ago,” Cole continues with a knowing smirk. “Meteorologists have done a lot of work in that time.”
The tension in my shoulders eases some at that because he’s right. Besides, Twister was just a movie.
Cole cracks the second beer can one-handed, passing it to me.
“Thank you.” I accept it with a smile, taking a much-needed sip.
“Since you’re not workin’ this weekend,” Cole says after a few silent beats.
“Or ever again,” I mutter, rolling my eyes at myself.
Purposely ignoring my jibe, Cole squeezes my thigh again. “You and the kids can come with me to Amarillo on Saturday.”
I quirk a brow. “What’s at Amarillo?”
He grins. “Panhandle Muster and Rodeo.”
“You’re riding?”
“Big pay day.” He nods, taking a pull from his beer. “Plus, there’s rides for the kids. Music. Food. Dancin’.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“Everyone’s goin’ so it’s a good chance for you to spend some time with Bailey and Darcy, and it’d be kinda nice to have my girl cheerin’ me on from the stands.” His cocky smile turns timid, and it’s possibly the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.
“We’ll be there.” I lean in and press my lips to his with a chaste kiss.
“Are you okay?” Cole asks, dragging his thumb over the curve of my bottom lip. “After today?”
My cheeks flush because I know what he’s asking. “I’m okay. A little mustache rash, but otherwise fine.” I smirk.
He sniffs a laugh. “You know you can always stop me,” he continues, dipping his chin to look at me closely. “If I’m ever pressurin’ you, or movin’ too fast, you tell me to stop and I will. Always.”
I nod, smiling. “I know.”
“The way you’ve opened up to me,” he says, his gaze dipping downwards to where his hand is rubbing up and down my thigh. “I’m so fuckin’ proud of you, baby.”
“I’m proud of myself,” I tell him honestly. “For a long time I thought I was ruined, but… You’ve made me realize it was never me who was the broken one.”
He grins at me, and then lifting his chin, he grazes my lips with his, cupping my cheek and deepening the kiss, sending a wildfire through me that reignites that dwindling flame between my thighs.
I turn so that I’m facing him completely, wrapping my legs around his waist and grinding against the bulge that’s formed in his briefs.
“You needy again, baby?” he whispers against my lips, rough hands palming my ass through my sleep shorts.
I moan softly when his finger drags against where I need him. Again. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’ve never been like this before.”
Pulling back, he looks at me long and hard, eyes flitting between mine. “I fuckin’ love it.”
I blush at his words, and the look of adoration in his gaze. “You’ve turned me into a… horn bag.”
“Mission accomplished.” Cole chuckles lowly, his mischievous smirk lingering as he stands and lifts me with him, carrying me back inside the house. His lips find my ear, warm breath fanning the shell and causing me to shiver as he gruffs, “Bedtime, baby.”