Chapter 3
Grace
Despite everything that had happened to me over the years, Malachi still made me feel safe.
I wished, not for the first time, that my parents had listened to me and allowed me to be with Kai.
How different would my life have been? But there was no point in dwelling on the past. It wouldn’t change anything.
And as far as I was concerned, my parents were dead to me.
Once they called Cain to come get me after I escaped his most brutal attack, I’d lost all trust and hope I had in them.
I’d begged for their help in leaving him, with everything I had, and they’d chosen to send me back, even had my asshole brother block my exit.
They refused to believe me even with the evidence of his brutality staring them in the face.
I didn’t matter to them. They didn’t deserve to be called parents.
They’d already thrown my sister away when she got pregnant at sixteen.
I should have known then that we were nothing but props to show off, elevate their status in the church or marry off as soon as we were legal.
I’d been “promised” to Cain as soon as he’d expressed interest. An interest he only had because I dared to be friends with Malachi.
He’d let me know it on multiple occasions, usually with fists and vile words.
How Cain and Malachi were from the same parents astounded me.
Cain was cruel, cold, and vindictive, while Kai was protective, compassionate, and kind.
It had broken my heart when he’d left to join the military, but I understood; it was his only way to escape his family, his father and the plans they had for him.
Of all the places in America, we’d both landed in nearly the same spot. Just towns apart. It felt bittersweet that we’d meet again, like this, after all this time. He’d grown up so much from the teen I’d once known. He’d been my best friend, my protector, my confidant, my safe place.
Grace - 15 years old
I escaped out my bedroom window after one of Daddy’s lessons and was wandering around the lake near our house.
I’d stopped to flick stones over the still surface when I heard a branch crack behind me.
Without turning, I knew who it was; he and I were the only ones to come out here.
This had become our place, where we patched each other up and dreamed of a world where we didn’t have to fear the next hit or ‘lesson’.
We’d been taking care of each other in this place after dark for the past two years.
“Hey, Wildflower.” His soft voice comforted me and warmed my soul, especially after one of Daddy’s ‘lessons’. My back still burned from the belt whips.
“Hi, Kai,” I said as he came to stand next to me.
“Another lesson?” He knew about them and dealt with similar ones from his own father, though he rarely shared details.
“Yeah.” I sighed. “Not sure what the point of this one was though. I think he’s taking his anger at Lexi out on me.
” My seventeen-year-old sister, Alexandra, or Lexi as she preferred, had just given birth to her daughter, and Daddy was furious that they were still in town, tarnishing the family’s name and reputation.
Kai pulled a blanket out of his backpack and laid it by the lake’s edge. “Come sit down; let me take a look.” He held out his hand for mine, and it was natural to take what he was offering. He led me over to the blanket and helped me sit, facing the lake as he took his spot behind me.
“Show me,” he breathed.
I undid the buttons of my blouse and carefully lowered it off my shoulders.
He gasped, “Gracie.” His fingers ghosted over the edge of one of the welts.
“It’s fine. I’m fine.” I was used to it by now.
“This is not fine. You’re bleeding.”
I shrugged; there was nothing I or anyone could do. It was what it was, my reality.
“I wish I could help you.” Kai spoke so softly I didn’t think I was supposed to hear him.
“You help me so much. You’re my best friend, Kai, my safe place.
I wouldn’t have survived Lexi leaving if it weren’t for you.
” No truer words had ever been spoken. When Kai was near, the knots in my stomach would loosen, and I could finally exhale.
If I were with him or my sister—before she was kicked out—I was protected.
No matter how bad my real world got, Kai and Lexi were my pillars of light, hope, and strength. Now that Lexi was gone, Kai was the only safety net I had left.
Kai got to work cleaning my back and applying aloe to the welts. His touch soothed more than my wounded skin; it touched my soul.
“What about you?” I asked as he finished and lifted my blouse back over my shoulders. I re-buttoned it, then turned to face Kai.
Gasping, I ran my finger around the edge of his blackening eye. I hadn’t looked at him when he arrived. “Oh, Kai. Cain or your dad?”
“This one was Cain,” he pointed to his face, “and these are from Pa,” he added as he lifted his shirt to show some nasty bruising over his abdomen.
“I’m so sorry, Kai. What are you going to do?” My eyes pricked with tears. Why was life so hard and our parents so cruel?
“Escape…I’ve joined the military. I leave the day school finishes.” He gazed off into the distance, not looking at me.
“The military?” I gasped in shock. Was that his only option?
“Yeah, I have to get out. I won’t survive if I stay. It’s either that or the ministry under Pa’s leadership, and you can guess how that would go.” His body visibly shivered. “I wish I could take you with me or help you escape before I leave.”
“Me too. But I’ll survive.” I paused, scared for my best friend’s future. “You’ll be careful, right? Stay safe. Don’t be a hero. Come home?”
He sent me a small smile. “I’ll do my best.” He nudged me with his shoulder. We sat together in companionable silence as darkness fell around us. Not sure what our futures held, but knowing in my gut everything was about to change.
The next few weeks passed, and the same weekly lessons continued. It wasn’t until my mother called me over after Sunday service that I realized how badly my life was about to change.
“Grace, darling, young Master Cain is going to court you.” She spoke so formally, as she stood stiffly by Daddy’s side with Cain’s mother and his father, Reverend Stone.
“This is the start of our courtship,” Cain spoke as he presented me with a bouquet of pretentious white roses and held out a hand for mine.
I was in shock as I mechanically took the flowers and offered my hand.
Cain brought my hand to his lips and placed a kiss on the back of it.
I had to fight not to recoil as my stomach dropped.
“I look forward to getting to know you better,” he jeered, his cold eyes sizing me up.
Glancing between my mother and father, I didn’t know what to say.
Mother caught my arm and pulled me away from the group, pinching me hard, causing me to wince as she hissed in my ear.
“Behave yourself. You should be honored. Cain has chosen you. You will let him court you for as long as he wishes. Marrying him will bring great honor to our family, and you will do as you are told.”
“But what about Malachi? Can’t he court me instead?” I gasped, knowing I’d made a mistake cutting Mother off.
“You stupid girl!” she snarled, the venom in her voice growing with each word.
“He is wholly unfit to court anyone, especially you. That boy has been corrupted. You will stay away from him from now on. Your sister has shamed this family, and you will not follow her with any disgraceful behavior! You will marry Cain and be the perfect wife. Do you understand?” The coldness in her gaze was something I’d become used to, but the extra warning in her tone meant I had no choice but to grin and bear it or suffer the—painful—consequences.
“Now behave, smile and thank Cain for the flowers.” She tightened her grip even more; I was sure I’d bruise.
Turning robotically, I plastered my usual ‘church smile’ on my face. “Thank you, Cain. They’re lovely.” I forced myself to curtsy, like the good Southern belle my mother forced me to be.
“I’m glad. Now, accompany me to the church mixer,” he stated rather than asking, while holding out his arm for me to take.
My mother flashed me a look that dared me to go against them.
With a deep inhalation, I braced myself.
“Of course.” I placed my arm in his and walked off with him into my new trapped life.
I wished more than ever I had a choice, a voice or even my sister to help give me strength to stand up to our parents.
But I wasn’t strong enough. I’d been taught to do as I was told or face grave consequences if I deviated from their plans.
As I shook myself out of the past, nausea swirled in my stomach from all I’d suffered since that day.
I glanced over at Kai, and my heart skipped a beat as I took him in.
He’d grown so much, survived the military and made a new life for himself.
I wondered what he did now. Was he on leave?
Would he return to duty at some point? Where did he even live?
So many questions swirled around my brain as I tried to grapple with my past invading my new present.
From the sidelines, I watched Kai’s actions while he gave instructions to everyone in the class.
He still radiated kindness and compassion, and his approach appeared tailored for each person.
He instinctively knew who needed extra space, who was easily startled, and who was ready for more.
The way he moved, taught, and assisted was reminiscent of the young boy I remembered from the past. I could see the young, innocent Kai shine through the man he was now.
I wondered now that he’d crashed back into my life if I’d be able to get to know the adult version of him.
Should I? My brain told me to keep my distance and leave the past in the past, but he’d been put in my path for a reason, and my heart knew he was and always would be my safe place.