51
A great groaning noise comes from the earth. I stand on the back porch of the lodge and watch as the Caterpillar knocks over the last of the Airstream. It collapses in a heap of metal and rock.
That’s what my fucking heart feels like right now.
Scorched earth.
Fallon might be married to me, but it’s the rodeo that has her heart.
A brisk wind picks up. I shove my hands in my pockets. Charlie and Davis walk with the contractor as the bulldozer clears debris from the ground.
Footsteps behind me, but I don’t turn.
“So which is it?” Ford’s deep drawl lingers in the air. “Brooding or moping?”
“Moping.” I incline my head. “She okay?”
Ford sighs. “Yeah. Her cottage is secure. No flowers, no DMs, no stalkers in the night.”
I scowl. “Not funny, asshole.”
Sure, Fallon kicked me out. Sure, I’m pissed, heartbroken, all kinds of crashing out. But that doesn’t mean I’m leaving her alone, unprotected.
“You stay over there last night?” I ask.
He nods. “Parked my ride outside her house.” He chuckles. “She caught me out there when she got home last night and gave me an earful.”
I glance at him. “Last night?”
He hesitates then says, “She was out late with the girls.”
Great. Just what I want. Fallon out on the town without me.
I fight the rock in my throat. “She still plannin’ to ride?”
“Think so. The girls packed up and left this morning for the fairgrounds.” Ford arches a brow. “Sure you don’t want to go?”
“She kicked my ass out,” I grunt. “She doesn’t want me there.”
Ford claps me on the shoulder. “Couples fight, kid, it’s human nature.”
“You and Reese?”
Ford chuckles. “Woman wants to kill be on a daily basis.” His face softens. “Fallon yell at you when you argued?”
I chuckle. “All the damn time.”
“That’s a good sign,” he says. “When she’s yelling at you, she cares. When she stops, you should be worried.”
Lost in thought, I twist the ring on my left hand. She’s never stopped fighting me in her life. Hell, the harder Fallon fights, the more I love her.
Love everything about her. Her chaos, her recklessness, her ambition. It’s an addiction.
She’s an addiction. I’ll never tame her.
I know better than to try.
But I did that night.
My temper got the better of me. The overprotective bastard inside me tried to corral her. One thing I know about Fallon—she won’t be reined. She doesn’t take shit from anyone. Least of all me. But that doesn’t mean I won’t protect her all I can.
I need to apologize. Need to tell her I love her. Need to make up for almost wrecking one of the best things I’ve ever had in my life. All because I’m a moody, overprotective asshole.
I look up at Ford. “Fuck. I fucked up.”
He grins. “You ready to go and watch her ride, man?”
“Get the truck ready.”
Something like pride wars with the fear pushing at my chest. In less than five hours, Fallon will be in a ring going back to her roots. Barrel racing. And I’ll goddamn be there.
What Fallon and I have is real and deep, and I’m never fucking letting it—or her—go again.
Boot steps. Ford and I glance over at the arrival of Charlie and Davis. They’re grinning. My eyes narrow in suspicion. “What’s goin’ on?”
Charlie hands me a piece of paper. “Here.”
I open it, scan over words like NEW OWNER, LAND DEED . “What is this?”
My brothers exchange a pleased look.
“Your land.” Charlie opens a big palm, gesturing to where my Airstream used to be. “We all have a piece. Seems fittin’ you get one, too. Build a house on it. Buy some more damn horses. But no more livin’ like a bum.”
Davis chuckles. “If we didn’t get your ass movin’, no one would.”
Ford laughs. “All right under your nose, kid.”
I’m stunned into silence. The rock in my throat makes it hard to talk. Finally, I manage to choke out, “Fuck, y’all are assholes.”
Charlie chuckles. “You deserve it, Wy. This ranch is as much yours as it is mine.” My brother’s dark-blue eyes shine suspiciously bright. “Hell, you were the first one here. You never gave up on me.”
I shake my head. “Never.”
Davis grips my shoulder. “We’re damn proud of you, kid, and the cowboy you’ve become.”
Cowboy .
Never been a fuckup. All my life, I’ve been a cowboy. A man my friends and family can count on. A husband. A damn good brother.
I look at the deed in my hand, nod my thanks. I don’t trust myself to speak.
“Would you look at that?” Ford grins. “Kid’s finally speechless.”
I give Ford a shove. “Dick.”
Ford gives me a knowing look. “We’ll get the truck ready.” He and Charlie move through the double doors leading into the lodge.
“This is yours, too.”
I glance at Davis. In his hand is a letter. Dusty and crumpled, it looks the worse for wear. On the front is my name in Fallon’s bold script.
My heart starts to hammer.
“Where’d you get that?” I rasp.
“It fell out of the screen door slats as the ’dozer was bustin’ it up.” Davis arches a dark brow. “Thought you’d want it.”
Dry mouthed, I take it from him. When he disappears into the lodge, I tear it open.
Dear Wyatt,
This is stupid, writing you a letter. But lately, that’s what everything feels like. Stupid.
Which means I’m probably stupid for leaving. But I have to. And before you go and blame yourself, don’t. It’s my bright idea.
I figured a few things out the last few months. I feel like I’m not me these days, and you’re not you. You should be pissing me off on the daily, instead I see you, watching me. It’s sweet in an annoying sort of way, but I don’t want to bring you down, Wyatt.
You’re not my protector or my savior.
Fuck.
I don’t know if I’ll even give you this.
I want to go somewhere where I can ride the sky. Wild horses, desert, dust, maybe margaritas, if I’m lucky.
Now I’m rambling. I’m skipping over everything I should be saying, delaying. Because that’s us, isn’t it? We fight instead of saying what we really mean.
But anyway.
This time, I go first.
I love you.
Those three words end me. I grip the letter in my hands and breathe heavily.
Loves me. She fucking loves me.
I force myself to read the rest of the letter, ignoring the rock in my throat and the heat behind my eyes
I really do. I shouldn’t, but I do. I think I’ve been so angry with you (I’ll save that for another letter) for so long, it snuck up on me. Now all I do is think about it. I think I’m an idiot.
But here goes, here’s hoping, because I truly have nothing to lose anymore. At least, that’s what this hole in my chest feels like.
The only thing that’s kept it from swallowing me alive is you.
I don’t know if you feel the same way. If you don’t, pretend you never got this letter. We don’t even have to speak of it again.
If you do…
If you want to come find me and maybe tell me you love me, too, I’m at El Toro Ranch in Arizona.
Fallon
p.s. Keep killing it on the rodeo. If you quit because of me, I’ll kill you.