Chapter 16
The drive home from the hospital is silent. Rock sits beside me, his gaze fixed on the passing scenery, a mask of concern and guilt etched on his features.
As soon as we step into our room at the clubhouse, the weight of the unspoken hangs heavily in the air. I can’t contain the surge of emotions crashing within me—a whirlwind of fear, anger, and betrayal. “You should have told me.” I finally break the silence, my voice edged with frustration.
Rock’s expression softens, his eyes filled with remorse. “I know,” he mutters, his voice laced with regret. “I wanted to protect you, Ash.”
“You can’t protect me by keeping things from me,” I snap back, feeling the sting of his attempt to shield me from danger. “We’re a team, Rock. We should face everything together.”
“Not this time, Princess.” I can see he’s tired and given the time I back off. We’ll talk later and it’s better for him to tell me everything.
Ican’t sleep for more than a few hours. I don’t know if it’s the adrenaline or because of the nightmare I had but I can’t shake off this awful feeling. Anger surges within me as I grab my bike’s keys, determined to head to Icylight.
“Where are you heading?”
I freeze in place not recognizing the voice. When the man shows himself, I roll my eyes at him. I don’t know him but the vest and a few patches he has somehow makes me relax. “To Icylight.” I try to reach the door, but he extends his arm and I arch a brow at him.
“We’re in lockdown and no one leaves or comes in the hood.” He shrugs. “Prez’s order.”
“I can leave and for sure you won’t be the one to stop me.” Arguing with the brothers falls on deaf ears. They are just following orders, but I can’t sit still. The ice is my refuge, my solace amidst chaos. Training for the night is a way to channel my emotions, to unleash the torrent of pent-up frustration and fear. “You wanna go wake him up?”
He moves away and I walk by and leave the clubhouse. “Kent, Ryder, you’re going with her.”
I keep my mouth shut. At least I can go away. I put on my helmet and jump on my bike. Starting the engine, I feel the vibration zapping on my skin. I’m not used to having someone to look at my back but the guys seem okay with it.
Parking, I hop off the bike and nod to the Panthers before pulling out my card and get inside.
I lace up my skates and hit the ice with determination. The rink is my canvas, and I carve figures with newfound fury and determination. Each movement is fueled by my anger and disappointment, a rebellion against the helplessness that seeks to engulf me.
One. I miss a turn and the skate slips, making me fall.
Two. Can’t balance properly, landing on my ass.
Three. Spinning too much makes me forget the distance to the edge and makes me bump into it.
Four. Face down.
Fuck!
I try new skating figures, pushing my limits, venting my emotions with every graceful twist and turn. The ice beneath me becomes an outlet for all the fears, anger, and doubts plaguing my mind. Focus, focus dammit!
I skate faster, executing intricate maneuvers, my body cutting through the cold air as I let out a primal scream, releasing the tension coiled within me. The ice echoes my frustration, absorbing my energy with every step, every jump, every spin.
My body moves in sync with my emotions, performing a dance of defiance. With each figure I carve into the ice, I reaffirm to myself—I won’t be confined by fear or restrictions. I’ll face the challenges, confront the dangers, and stand strong beside Rock. I’ll fight for what I love, no matter the obstacles. I deserve it. He deserves it too.
I wake up later than usual, the morning sun peeking through the window. Groggy and disoriented, I stretch my arms, attempting to shake off the remnants of sleep. The sheets are cold, and Ashley”s side of the bed is empty. A pang of worry shoots through me as I reach for my phone, realizing she”s not by my side.
I try calling her, but there”s no response. Panic starts to bubble within me, but I attempt to rein it in. I stride through the clubhouse, searching for her, but she”s nowhere to be seen. Concern gnaws at me as I spot Mac.
“Have you seen Ash?”
He shakes his head while pouring some coffee. “I just came back but I saw Kent at the Icylight. Didn’t know you wanted to secure it.”
“Alone?” My blood is boiling already.
“Good evening, Prez, what’s up?” Skull shows up with groceries and Denise by his side.
“Why is Kent out?” I blurt out.
“Princess went for a ride at 4 a.m. and…”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“She said you knew, but Kent and Ryder trailed behind her to Icylight.”
My heart pounds against my ribcage as I rush outside. I almost bump into her as she strides back in, her expression a mix of defiance and exhaustion.
“Hello, everyone, don’t mind me.”
Before I can say a word, she heads straight upstairs leaving all of us stuck.
While she’s having a shower I pace back and forth, my thoughts racing. When she finally emerges from the bathroom, she stops in front of me and kisses me before slipping into bed. I can see she’s exhausted both physically and maybe emotionally. Our world is not for anyone and she’s right. If I don’t tell her at least what’s going on she won’t keep her eyes open each time she’s out of the gate. She pulls the cover on her, and I sit on the bed.
“Can we talk?”
But she”s already drifting off, her breathing steady as sleep claims her. I watch her for a while, the gentle rise and fall of her chest, her delicate features relaxed in slumber.
I reach out to brush a strand of hair from her face, my fingers lingering on her cheek. The vulnerability in her sleep touches something deep within me, and without realizing it, exhaustion catches up.
In the quiet moments before I drift off, I realize how fragile the bonds we share can be—how easily they can fray in the face of misunderstandings and fear.