42. Aurora
AURORA
The small echoing room was a private bathing chamber.
I locked the door and sat on the closed seat of the toilet, shivering in the darkness and waiting for the all-consuming lust I felt to fade.
I’m ashamed to say I lost count of how many times I touched myself. But every time I came, the lust only returned, stronger than ever, until I was sore between my legs from rubbing so much and I felt like I was going crazy!
Outside, I could hear Ryse groaning and wondered if he was doing the same thing I was. I kept reliving his kiss—so hard and delicious—the frantic press of his lips against mine and the way his tongue tasted spicy and hot…
Stop it! I told myself sternly. He didn’t mean to kiss you! He still thinks you’re a boy!
At least, I hoped that he did. I still didn’t know what he was thinking—only that I wanted him with everything that was in me and I could never have him.
At last, when the first edges of light were creeping through the window-slit in the stone wall high above, my body stopped reacting. The crazed lust seemed to fade and with it, all my energy.
I moaned tiredly and looked for somewhere to lay down and try to get some rest. If I could just shut my eyes for a few minutes, I was sure I would feel so much better…
I was eyeing the tub, which was long enough to lay down in if I curled on my side but also would probably be cold, since it was made of stone, when a knocking came on the bathroom door.
I quickly rinsed my hands in the sink and wiped them on a towel before going to the door and asking,
“Ryse?”
“Yes, it’s me.” His voice sounded hoarse with fatigue. “It’s all right now. It’s safe—you can open the door,” he told me. “I won’t hurt you,” he added in a low voice, and I thought I heard shame in his tone.
Slowly, I opened the door. I still wasn’t sure if he knew he’d touched my breast last night…
or if maybe he thought he’d imagined it.
I was hoping for the latter. My Dragon Glass pendant was still firmly around my neck, and I had spent some time earlier rubbing it and reminding it I was supposed to look like a male.
“Hello,” I said tentatively as I stood in the doorway and looked up at him.
“Hello.” There were dark circles under his golden eyes, which were now bloodshot, as well as thick black stubble on his jaw.
His face looked as tired as his voice sounded, I thought. It was clear he’d been up all night, the same way I had. As for if he’d been dealing with the waves of lust the same way I had…well, I didn’t want to ask about that.
“I’m sorry about last night,” Ryse said at last. “I don’t…don’t know why I kissed you like that. I’m not someone who likes other males,” he added, which gave me hope that he didn’t know my secret.
“I’m not either,” I said, which was technically true, since I wasn’t really a male myself.
“Everything was…it was crazy.” He shook his head. “I’ve never felt a Mating Flight like that.”
“So…that wasn’t normal?” I asked tentatively.
He shook his head again.
“No—not nearly. It’s not usually that…intense.”
“I’m surprised you could feel it—Chud Larson said…he said…” But then my voice broke, and I found, to my horror, that I was right on the verge of tears.
“Said what?” Ryse’s eyes narrowed. “That fucker—I should have killed him!”
I blinked back the tears that were threatening and tried to push away the awful memory of Chud Larson looming over me, his nose streaming blood as he promised I was going to pay.
“He…he said you always took…took a calming tea before the…the Mating Flights,” I finally got out. “He said you…you wouldn’t come for me.”
“Auri…” He cupped my cheek in one big, warm hand and tilted my face up to his. “You’re under my protection now,” he told me. “I’ll always come for you.”
“Thank…thank you,” I whispered and then my tears overflowed and ran down my cheeks, even though I was trying to stop them.
Ryse sighed roughly and pulled me to him. Big, strong arms came around me and my face was pressed to his bare chest, which smelled comfortingly of his warm, masculine scent.
“Suh…suh…sorry,” I managed to get out at last. “I just…last night…”
“Last night you were nearly raped because I was almost too late getting to you,” he said grimly. “That’s fucking frightening. It’s all right, little one—you can cry if you need to.”
And so I cried. For just a moment, I let myself feel weak in his arms—let myself feel like a girl who had been frightened and nearly violated—which I had heard all my life was the worst thing that could happen to me because it would ruin all my value to a future husband.
But I had no future husband here—just my Wing Leader who still thought I was a man—thank goodness—and who held me anyway and let me cry.
Ryse, who didn’t seem to mind that I was getting his chest all wet, stroked my hair and murmured something soothing. I didn’t understand what he said but I didn’t have to—it made me feel better…made me feel safe—safe in his arms.
At last the sobs tapered off and the tears dried up. Swiping at my eyes, I looked up at him.
“Feeling better now?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
“A little,” I admitted. “How…how did you know to come looking for me?”
“Figured that Larson would take the opportunity to come after you, so I didn’t take my usual tea,” he said. “And I had M’alex in my head, warning me that you were in danger.”
I looked at him in surprise.
“He took time out of a Mating Flight to warn you about me?”
Ryse shook his head.
“No—M’alex didn’t rise last night. In fact, he’s never risen for a Mating Flight.”
“He hasn’t?” I shook my head. “Why not?”
Ryse shrugged.
“He says he’s waiting for the right female—for his mate. I can only imagine how much worse last night would have been if he did rise.” He shivered. “God and Goddess, I would have gone out of my fucking skull!”
“How different was last night from a regular Mating Flight?” I asked curiously. Now that I had gotten over my fear and let my feelings out, I was much more able to talk.
“It was about ten times more intense, for one thing,” Ryse growled. “Mating Flights aren’t normally like that.”
“Well, what usually happens?” I asked. “I mean, I saw…all kinds of things. People doing things I didn’t think they would want to do under, er, normal circumstances.”
“Usually it’s just a lot of fooling around,” Ryse remarked.
“Mostly cadets kissing and groping some. Nothing like the fucking orgy that went on last night.” He raked a hand through his hair.
“The ones who don’t like other males will generally take a sleeping draught or a calming tea when they hear the horns to help them deal with their, uh, urges. ”
“Oh, so that’s why you usually take something?” I asked, looking at him from the corner of my eye. “Because you don’t, er, like other males that way?”
“That’s right,” he said, frowning, as though he was trying to convince himself as well as me. “I don’t. Last night was just…”
“Last night was an anomaly,” I finished for him, since he seemed to be groping for the right word and couldn’t find it. “It was just a one-off. Nothing to be ashamed of.”
Ryse looked relieved.
“You think so?”
“I know so,” I said firmly, though I knew nothing of the kind. I shook my head. “I just wonder what set the dragons off? I mean, what made last night’s Mating Flight so, er, intense?”
“Hell if I know.” He sighed and sank down on the side of the bed. “But I have an idea there’s a lot of cadets who aren’t going to be able to look each other in the eyes today.”
I thought of Jorn-o and Greer and had to agree with him. I hadn’t known my best friend at the Academy had those sorts of proclivities. Not that I liked him any less because of it, but still…last night had laid a lot of things bare that most people probably would have prefered to keep covered.
“You know, several people warned me about the Mating Flights, but nobody would explain what they were or what happened during them,” I said to Ryse.
He grimaced.
“Yeah, the Academy leadership doesn’t like to talk about it, but it’s one reason they only accept cadets who are over the age of consent.
It’s just kind of one of those things about living with dragons—they make you crazy every once in a while.
Of course, the married professors can all go to their wives but the cadets… only have each other.”
“Or a sleeping draught,” I said.
He nodded.
“Yeah, or that. But I don’t even know if taking one would have helped last night. I’ve never felt anything like that!”
“Do you think many people took something and it didn’t help?” I asked.
“Possibly.” He shrugged. “Of course, if your dragon is rising to the flight, there’s nothing you can take that will dull the need. I’ve just been lucky so far that M’alex doesn’t care to rise.”
“I wonder who he’s waiting for—who his mate is?” I asked.
Ryse shook his head.
“Whoever she is, she isn’t hatched yet. But when she finally comes along…” He made a low whistling sound. “Watch out.”
“Don’t dragons take some time to mature?” I asked.
“Not as much as you’d think. They grow at an astonishing rate.” He sighed and let himself fall back against the pillows. “God and Goddess, I’m so fucking tired.”
“Me too.” I sighed and sat on the bed beside his long legs. “Scoot over, would you?”
Ryse moved over without comment, and I curled on my side beside him. I was careful not to touch him, but I could feel the warmth of his big, muscular body radiating against my back.
“Will they expect us to go to classes today?” I asked and yawned.
“No, not after that.” Ryse sighed. “We should get at least half a day off. They’ll probably expect us for lunch.”
“Good. Then I’m going to sleep until then.”
And I closed my eyes and let myself drift off, grateful that I had survived the Mating Flight.
I dreamed of flying on a dragon with pure golden wings and didn’t wake up until the Great Bell rang for lunch.