Chapter Five #4
She nodded stiffly and gestured for them to follow. They did, Kael keeping his gaze firmly on her. He didn’t want to see how the people around them were watching him. He didn’t need to see it to know it was happening anyway.
“I’ll bring you coffee,” the woman said.
“I don’t drink coffee,” he told her. “I’ll take a glass of water, thank you.”
She blinked and looked at Ridge, who nodded and murmured that coffee would be fine for him.
Kael didn’t wait. He slid onto the bench, putting his back to the rest of the room, hoping it would be enough that he wouldn’t notice everyone watching.
He could still feel their gazes on his back, but he did his best to ignore it.
Was all of this even worth it? He’d never had to deal with any of this when he lived in Starhaven, and while it wasn’t as bad in the town where he lived now because people had gotten used to seeing him around, this would happen every time he left.
People would watch him. They would wonder what he was.
They could see he was different, but humans weren’t used to demons.
Of course, that could change. If demons opened up their towns, humans would see more of them, and they’d eventually accept it as a normal fact of life, just like they had with shifters and other paranormal creatures.
Most of them were probably just curious, but Kael still felt like he was the center of attention, and not in a good way.
He didn’t like people watching him, no matter the reason.
“You okay?” Ridge murmured, leaning closer.
Kael forced himself to smile. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“The way that man behaved wasn’t right.”
“How is he supposed to know that? He doesn’t know me. For all he knew, I could be dangerous to his son. I don’t blame him for trying to protect the boy.”
“You wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
Kael liked that Ridge knew that about him, but he wasn’t sure what it had to do with anything. “That man couldn’t know that. He doesn’t know me.”
“He judged you because of the way you look.”
“Isn’t that what most people do? It’s how we form first impressions, isn’t it? I’m sure that the first time you saw me, you made some kind of decision about me before you got to know me.”
“The first time I met you, I didn’t assume you were going to attack me or someone I love.”
Kael shrugged. “That’s because of the situation we were in. I was scared, and you could probably see that.”
Ridge reached over the table to touch Kael’s hand. Kael was surprised, but he allowed the contact, staring at their hands on top of the table.
Demons looked mostly human. They had two arms and two legs. They had eyes and hair. It was obvious they weren’t human, but they looked enough like humans that Kael had truly thought he could find a place amongst them. Maybe he could.
But not knowing for sure hurt him. He wished things were as easy as they had been in Starhaven, but had things really been that easy in Starhaven?
Yes, he’d been surrounded by demons and hadn’t had to deal with people staring at him, but mostly because people had ignored him.
They didn’t know him. Most people in Starhaven didn’t even know he existed.
He hadn’t been important to any of them except Nymon, and Nymon wasn’t in Starhaven anymore.
“You were scared,” Ridge confirmed. “I could see that. I never would‘ve assumed that you would hurt someone just because of the way you look, though. I would never assume that of anyone.”
Kael sighed. Ridge was trying to comfort him, and in a way, it was working.
It was mostly because, even though Kael sometimes yearned to go back to what he knew, he was aware that it would be the worst decision he could make.
He had nothing left in Starhaven. The only thing he could do was look forward and learn to live among humans.
“I’m glad that’s how you feel,” he told Ridge.
“And you’re right, I wouldn’t hurt anyone.
You’re also right that the man reacted the way he did just because of how I look, and there’s nothing I can do about that.
I can’t change who I am, and even if I could, I wouldn’t, because this is who I am.
I guess people are going to have to learn to live with that. ”
And he would have to learn to live with people watching him, and a lot of them not accepting him.
Did he need them to, anyway? He had his best friend.
Nymon and Tex would always be there for Kael.
Kael also had Ridge, or at least he was pretty sure he did.
He didn’t know where things stood between them, but he was Ridge’s mate.
Ridge wouldn’t give up easily, which was good because Kael didn’t want him to give up at all.
He had his apartment, and he was sure that in time, he would build himself a new community.
It wouldn’t be like the one he’d left behind in Starhaven, but had that one really ever been his?
He’d been part of it because he was a demon and had been born there, but had he ever truly belonged?
And could he find a place to belong now that he’d left?