Chapter 1
CHAPTER
ONE
Rain
Unlocking my truck, I slide into the driver’s seat. I manage to lock the doors and start the truck at the same time before I relax into the seat. My head hits the headrest, and I close my eyes.
Five minutes.
I just need five minutes of me time.
Lately, it feels like life has been hitting me hard. If I’m not at home trying to take care of Dad, making sure he has his prescriptions, taking him to follow up with his doctors, then I’m at work putting out fires.
It’s like shit has hit the fan, and I’m the only one who’s going through it.
I just need five minutes to do whatever the hell I want and when I want.
Guilt hits me at the thought.
I can have all the me time once Dad is gone, but until then, I can’t stop. He deserves all of my focus. He needs it.
Hell, I need it. I don’t know how much time I have left with him, and I refuse to waste a single moment.
I put on my seat belt and put the truck in drive.
As I turn out of the parking lot, the Bluetooth connects, and I make my call.
“Hi, Rain,” Nurse Sanchez says.
“How is he?” I ask, cutting to the chase.
Nurse Sanchez takes her time responding. “We need to talk when you get here.”
My heart drops to my stomach.
“Is he still alive?”
“Right now he is, but he doesn’t have long left,” she says gently.
The road blurs in front of me, and I blink back my tears.
“I’m on my way,” I rasp.
Before she can respond, I hang up and squeeze the steering wheel tight.
He can’t die. Not yet. Not now. This shouldn’t even be happening. If he hadn’t rejected the treatment…
My heart races as I come to a stop at a stoplight.
“Stop it. You can’t think about this right now. Not while you’re driving,” I quietly scold myself.
When the light turns green, I gun it, needing to get there faster. Only that doesn’t happen. Two blocks down, I get stuck behind an accident. The entire road is shut down.
“Motherfucker,” I grumble under my breath.
I look around and groan. I’m stuck in the middle of a city block, surrounded by buildings. I can’t even take a shortcut if I wanted to.
The fifteen-minute drive ends up taking me an hour. One entire hour.
By the time I pulled into the driveway, dread had filled me. I haven’t even stepped into the house, and I know something’s wrong. I scramble out of the truck and rush toward the house.
“Dad!” I yell as I rush into the house.
The silence hits me first.
No machines beeping.
No sound of Dad snoring or calling out.
Pure silence.
“Dad!” I scream as I head down the hall.
Nurse Sanchez steps out of his room right before I can enter, and she grabs me by the arms.
“I’m so sorry,” she says with sadness in her eyes.
“No, no, he’s not gone,” I tell her, shaking my head.
“I’ve already made all the necessary calls. He passed five minutes ago.”
Five minutes.
Five fucking minutes.
If I hadn’t gotten stuck in traffic, I would have been here. Instead, he died alone.
“No, no, no…” I sob and push my way into his room.
Dad lies there peacefully, looking like he’s sleeping. When I get to his side, I rest my hand on his chest, begging to feel his ragged breathing.
Nothing.
Nothing but silence and my cries.
I fall into the chair next to the bed and bury my face into his side as I cry.
He’s gone. Truly gone.
This shouldn’t be happening. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
A thousand emotions rush through me all at once.
I don’t know how long I cry, but the next thing I remember is the sound of feet shuffling toward me.
“Rain, it’s time,” Nurse Sanchez says gently.
Raising my head, I look over and see two men staring at me with sympathy in their eyes.
“Hi, Rain. We’re sorry for your loss,” one of them says.
“Thank you,” I tell them robotically.
“We are from the funeral home. Take your time saying your goodbyes. When you are done, we will take him. In the meantime, we will be waiting in the living room,” the same man says.
I nod at him as I turn back to my father.
As they walk away, I look at him.
He looks good.
As fucked up as it is to admit it, it’s true. For the first time in a year, his face isn’t clouded with pain. He looks truly at peace.
I just wish he would have been at peace and here with me still.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here, Daddy,” I rasp.
Bowing my head, I think about all the things that we never got to do.
We never got to go to the Grand Canyon together, like we had talked about.
He never got to walk me down the aisle. We won’t ever get to go to Sturgis again and make fun of all the girls throwing themselves at the bikers.
He will never get to meet his grandchildren if I ever decide to have them.
Letting go of him, I press my face into my hands.
This is fucked up.
I’m alone.
The thought hits me like a freight train, stealing my breath.
I’m all alone. No family left. It’s just me, myself, and I.
Fresh tears start to roll down my face at the realization.
Sure, I have the club, but they will only stick around out of obligation. Eventually, they will fade from my life.
Just like everyone else.
Oh god.
Just when I think it can’t get much worse, it does.
I don’t know how long I sit there spiraling when I hear it. The sound of boots stomping down the hall.
“Rain,” he rasps.
I turn and look over my shoulder and frown. “What are you doing here?”
Ridge
Right as I put the last of the groceries in my fridge, the phone rings. Panther’s name flashes across the screen.
“What’s up?” I ask as I put him on speakerphone.
“Ridge.”
The seriousness in his voice makes me pause.
“What’s wrong?”
“He’s gone.”
Leaning against the counter, I close my eyes.
Son of a bitch.
I don’t need him to clarify who he’s talking about. I already know.
Mustang.
One of the oldest members of our club. The man who took me under his wing when he didn’t have to. Mustang was like a father to me when he didn’t have to be.
Despite knowing this day was rapidly approaching, it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
“How long ago?” I ask, clearing my throat, burying any emotion from my voice.
“Within the last fifteen minutes. The nurse called me herself.”
“Rain?” I ask.
He pauses for just a second. “She was on her way home from work. She’s there now, though. We are going to head over there in a few minutes, but you’re closest, and I hate the thought of her being there alone.”
“I’ll head out right now,” I tell him with no hesitation.
“Are you good?” he asks.
“No, but I will be. I’ll see you soon.”
Before he can respond, I hang up and wipe a hand over my face.
God dammit.
As much as I hate the idea of Mustang dying alone, I’m thankful she wasn’t there by herself.
Grabbing my phone and my keys, I head out the door. Jumping on my bike, I make the quick five-minute drive down the street. The van with the funeral home’s logo is already parked along the curb.
“Fuck,” I mutter as I park.
I eye the street and see that people are starting to come outside to investigate.
Shaking my head, I head inside.
As soon as Nurse Sanchez sees me, she offers me a sad smile.
“She’s in with him now,” she says softly.
“Did he suffer?” I ask quietly.
“I did everything I could to keep him as peaceful as possible,” she says.
I nod. “Thank you.”
One of the men stands and walks to me, hand out. “I’m Steven Mitchell, from Mitchell Funeral Home. I’ll be transporting Mr. Wilson to our facilities per his request.”
I shake his hand.
“I appreciate it. Our brothers are on their way, so we are going to be a while, though, if that’s all right.”
The man nods. “Of course. Take your time.”
Pulling away, I head down the hall. My heart races and my throat goes dry as I brace myself for what I’m about to find.
When I step into the room, my heart breaks. Rain has her head lying next to him, her hand on his chest. For a second, I watch as her body shakes in tears.
“Rain,” I rasp.
Slowly, she lifts her head, her red, swollen eyes meeting mine.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, sounding confused by my presence.
I walk over to her and crouch down next to her. Without thinking about it, I pull her into my arms. Her face falls into the crease between my shoulder and my neck.
“He’s gone,” she chokes out.
When her tears hit my skin, I close my eyes and will mine not to fall. For the first time in years, Rain and I set down our swords. We don’t fight, we don’t yell, nothing. We just sit in the silence, knowing a man we both love is gone.
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly.
I hold her as she mourns her father. My eyes dart over to the man in question.
If I didn’t know any better, I would say that he was sleeping. His face is sharper than it’s ever been, his complexion all wrong, and his beard is thinner than ever. Yet, the corners of his mouth are kicked up, almost as if he’s smiling, like he was happy during his last moments on earth.
The sound of bikes coming down the street makes Rain’s breath catch.
“Who called them?” Rain asks as she pulls back.
I fight the urge to pull her back into my arms as I watch her wipe away her tears.
“The nurse called Panther. Everyone is coming over.”
Rain nods as her voice shakes. “That’s what he wanted.”
Rain stands on shaky legs and moves into the hall to make room in the bedroom. I follow behind her, sticking close to her side.
Rain would never admit when she needs help, or when she needs a minute alone, but I’ve watched her enough over the years to know the signs. I stick close, just in case she needs me.
I watch as my brothers, one by one, greet her, pulling her into hugs and murmuring condolences to her before heading into the room to say goodbye to our brother.
Only when Aspen and Maggie step into view does her composure crumple.
“Oh, Rain,” Maggie says softly as she pulls her into a hug.
Aspen steps forward and starts rubbing her back.
I hear the girls whispering something to her and watch as Rain nods. Silently, they lead her away from the room.
Panther walks over to me and posts up against the wall.
“This fucking sucks,” he whispers.
“You can say that again,” I say quietly.
He looks over at me and studies me for a moment. “I’d ask if you’re okay, but I already know the answer.”
I’m so far from okay, it’s not even funny, but I keep my mouth shut.
“She’s going to need us,” I tell him.
“And she has us. I made a promise to Mustang, and I intend to keep it.”
The word promise and Mustang’s name paired together remind me of a promise he made me make him not that long ago.
Son of a bitch.
I close my eyes and pray.
For the love of all things holy, Mustang, I hope you were talking out of your ass, and you weren’t serious.
“You with me, man?” Panther asks, pulling me back to the present.
“I’m fine. I’m just worried about Rain.”
“You and me both,” he says as he pushes off the wall to head into the room.
I watch as he walks away, and a different type of dread fills me.
Surely he didn’t do what he said he was going to do, right?