Chapter 13
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
Rain
There’s a pounding in my head that won’t go away. Even after I brushed my teeth, I swear I can still taste the tequila on my tongue.
I shouldn’t have gone as hard as I did last night, but I let the anger win. I let my emotions dictate my actions, and now I’m here.
Sober me really fucking hates drunk me right now. I probably shouldn’t have downed those hard ciders at the end. That was probably my undoing.
Grabbing a mug, I make myself a cup of coffee before I sit down at the kitchen table.
I tuck my legs under me as I stare out the window, my mind never really turning off, even through the pain.
Exhaustion rolls through me, but I know if I went back to my room, I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep because last night keeps playing over and over in my mind.
My dreams were filled with reality mixed with a bit of fantasy. In some, I throttled Ridge, but others…
We won’t talk about what I did to him in that storage room.
I still can’t believe the truth of the night, though.
Ridge declared me his old lady in front of the entire club.
Me.
The woman who doesn’t like him most days. The woman he’s only married to on paper, but not in the biblical sense.
It doesn’t make sense.
Why?
Why would he make me the most important person in his life? You only get one old lady. There are some very specific instances when you might be granted a second, but I don’t plan to die and make him a widower at a young age, so that’s not going to happen.
He is so annoying. He didn’t even warn me. Why am I surprised, though? He didn’t warn me about the will or this marriage either. It seems to be his MO. Do whatever he can to fuck Rain over in a major way.
I swear, I hate the man.
Then my mind goes back to the way he backed me against the door, running his nose along my cheek. In that moment, I was…dare I say excited? Confused? As angry as I was, having him so close, being able to smell the aftershave on his skin—even now it sends goosebumps down my arms.
Still, he made decisions without consulting me. This might not be a real marriage, but I had thought we were slowly finding middle ground. A place we could call a truce.
I thought I was softening toward him, but nope. I hate him. In fact, there’s a knife right there. I could go into his room and…
“Morning,” he rasps, making me jump in my chair.
“I didn’t hear you,” I mutter, making him chuckle.
“You were a little lost in your thoughts. Everything okay?” he asks.
Ignoring his question, I watch him pour himself a cup of coffee.
I look at him, really look at him for the first time in years.
Ridge is attractive. He’s got brown hair that’s almost ashy, and golden brown eyes that remind me of honey.
His stomach is flat, and when he takes his shirt off, you can see the outline of his upper abs.
Not buff by any means, just fit from working outdoors and riding all the time.
I’m sure some women would go gaga over him. They would love to spend the night in his bed. Hell, I used to want the same thing once before, when I was a teen, and the new boy my father brought around had me looking at him with stars in my eyes.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asks, voice full of concern as he sits down across from me.
“No, everything is not okay.”
His brow furrows. “You know you can talk to me, right?”
I laugh, but it doesn’t come out right.
“Can I? I mean, I guess I should be able to. I am your old lady after all.”
He sighs. “Are we arguing about this again? It’s done. There are no takebacks.”
I set my cup down and turn to face him.
“I know we aren’t a traditional marriage, but when it involves me, I would really love it if you didn’t just make decisions for me. I know you were close with him, but you aren’t my father, and no matter how much you beg, I will never call you Daddy.”
He rolls his eyes. “Of course I just did it. If I didn’t, you wouldn’t have shown up. I also would never ask you to call me Daddy. That is weird on so many levels, especially considering my relationship with your father.”
“Do you even realize what you’ve done? You can only have one old lady ever, Ridge. E-V-E-R,” I say slowly.
“You don’t think I don’t know that? Do you honestly think I didn’t contemplate this? I didn’t do this blindly, Rain. I know exactly why I did this. I know the consequences. I am okay with them.”
I shake my head, the hurt settling in. “You did it out of a sense of obligation to my dad. You know that. I know that. Everyone knows that. Now, when this marriage ends, and you find someone you really love, you will never be able to claim them. You took that away from them, and they will resent me for it. They will probably resent you too.”
“I know, Rain. I fucking know. I thought about it constantly for days. Where I might be in the future. Who I might meet. What I want my life to look like in fifty years. I played it over and over in my mind, and I kept coming up with the same fucking thing. If I could only have one old lady, I’m glad it’s you. Even if you hate me for it.”
“W-what?” I rasp as shock fills me.
“If I can only have one old lady in my life, I’m glad it’s you,” he says slowly.
I feel my mouth drop open.
No. He can’t mean that. Why would he want me as his old lady? He never even liked me.
This has to be a mistake.
Doesn’t it?
Ridge
Rain sits across from me, eyes wide, mouth slightly parted.
Completely stunned, and as fucked up as it is, I’m glad I finally knocked her off her feet.
I’m glad I’ve shaken her to her core. Maybe now she will realize that while this might have started as a favor to her father, it is not all about that anymore.
I want to get to know her. I want to see if we can make a real go of this. If she would stop throwing jabs my way and open herself up, we might be able to form a friendship. Maybe even more.
I meant what I said to her, though. I’m glad it’s her. I think subconsciously I always wanted it to be her. Why else would I be so chill about this?
“I-I don’t understand. You don’t even like me,” she says quietly as she shakes her head.
“Rain…” I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.
For a second, I weigh my options. I could sugarcoat it for her, or I could tell her the truth. I could say something to smooth this whole thing over, or I can be honest and tell her what I want, where I see this going.
Fuck it.
“If you think I don’t like you, we need to get your eyes and ears checked.”
Her mouth falls open again, but I continue before she can say anything.
“I’ve liked you for far longer than I care to admit.” I think back to the first time I really saw her. “Your dad knew. I think that is why he went down this path. We haven’t always gotten along, but I never once hated you. To be honest, I kind of thought that was our thing.”
“But…”
I push on. “You’re gorgeous. You make me smile, and you keep me on my toes.
You don’t let me get away with my bullshit, even if sometimes I wish you would.
I genuinely like being around you, even if you don’t feel the same way.
You have my complete attention every time you walk into a room, and I think that if we really gave this a chance, if we laid down our weapons, we could make each other happy.
We could be friends, or maybe we could even fall in love. ”
“You want to fall in love? With me?” she asks slowly.
“Yes,” I tell her bluntly. “I would.”
“But, Ridge, you know this is a lie, right? That we are only playing house because we have to. I think you are confusing what we have to do with what is real.”
That’s the crux of it all, isn’t it? I agreed to this so quickly because I knew I couldn’t find a better woman in the world. Not for me. It being a favor to her father was only a bonus, not the reason.
I’m starting to realize that maybe I have already been in love with Rain. At least for the past couple of years.
“If you want to believe this is fake, then that’s fine.
I’ll follow your lead. I would never do anything against your will, but Rain…
we are going to be together for two years.
Do you really want to live the next two years as enemies?
Strangers? I’m not asking for a miracle.
I am well aware that we might not be compatible.
All I am asking is for you to give this marriage a real shot.
At least start with friendship. I have truly enjoyed sitting on the couch with you while you watch your shows.
Spending time with you. All I want to know is if you feel the same. ”
I leave it all out there on the floor. Now it’s up to her. This moment will change everything for us. Either she holds onto whatever hate she has for me in her heart, or she lets it go, and we start anew.
When she doesn’t answer after several minutes, I whisper, “Do you really hate me that much?”
She speaks so softly that I barely hear her answer.
“I don’t think I ever hated you either.”
Hope flares up inside of me.
“I’m glad to hear it.”
She frowns. “I don’t even know what friendship would look like for us, let alone going further.”
I reach across the table and take her hand in mine. The fact that she doesn’t immediately pull away makes me smile.
“I have a few ideas if you would like to hear them.”
She nods slowly.
I take a deep breath and lay all my cards on the table.
“We start off slow. Start spending more time together without the pressure of others. We can keep it to ourselves for as long as you want. You let me take you out on dates. As old-fashioned as it sounds, let me court you, show you who I am. You can show me who you are. Keep an open mind and see where this goes. If, in the end, we only have friendship, then I will consider myself lucky. If it ends up with us being more, I will know the gods have truly blessed me.”
The words hang in the air for a moment as she stares at me. Just stares at me with a look in her eyes that I can’t quite name.
“You’re serious,” she says after a moment.
“Deadly.”
Rain blows out a shaky breath as her hands move to the coffee cup that I’m sure has gone cold. Leaning back in my chair, I wait her out. I just threw her a curveball that I know she wasn’t expecting. The least I can do is give her a few minutes to process.
Her silence wouldn’t be so painful if it wasn’t for the ticking of the clock playing throughout the room.
I always liked my old clock, but right now I could shoot it.
It’s counting down to the most pivotal moment in my life.
Counting down to a change. What kind, I’m not sure of yet, but I know when she’s ready, she will tell me.
I don’t know how long I wait, but when she turns toward me, I feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest.
“Okay.”
One word. Two syllables.
I feel the world tilt on its axis.
Holy shit. She just agreed. I don’t know why, but I figured it would take more convincing. That I would have to wear her down over time. That she would make me jump through some sort of hoops that would be nearly impossible.
“Okay,” I rasp.
“You’re sure?” she asks hesitantly, a tone I’m not used to coming from her.
“Yes.”
“Then okay, but I have some conditions.” She steels herself.
I can’t help the smirk that fills my face. Of course she does. This is still Rain we are talking about. She might be willing to give me a shot, but that doesn’t mean she is letting me off easy.
No, the girl is going to make me work for it. I cannot wait.
“Name them,” I tell her.
She blows out a breath. “I don’t need anything fancy, but I need you to plan the dates.
It’s what I hated most about dating. They always wanted to know where I wanted to go, but I hated it.
I don’t like the anxiety that comes with those decisions.
” She waits for me to nod before she continues.
“I need you to know that I don’t handle canceled plans well.
If we say we are going to do something, I expect you to be there.
Outside of illness or bodily injury, I want you there.
I know the club is important to you, and you have duties, but I won’t be second fiddle to the club like I was with my dad.
I need to be the priority. I mean, if this turns into more than friendship. ”
She looks a little nervous at the end, like she didn’t mean to let so much information slip, but I caught it. She is not thinking of only friendship. Which is good because neither am I.
“Understandable,” I say as my heart races. “I will always put you first. If something major comes up with the club, I will let you know and let you decide if I go with them or you. If it’s minor, I will tell them to kick rocks.”
I know for a fact that Mustang went out of his way to be present when she was young, but in high school, something flipped.
I hated how Mustang would cancel dinner to hang out at the club with the brothers.
Or the way he would use the club as an excuse because he didn’t know how to handle Rain’s teenage outbursts.
He loved his daughter. He provided for her, gave her food and shelter, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t have his failures when it came to her.
He came from a different mentality where the club comes first, always.
I might be part of the same club, but my priorities are different.
All of ours are. Panther doesn’t do things like they used to.
He understands that we aren’t some one-percenters living life on the edge of the law.
He understands that family is important.
If he didn’t, I don’t know if I would have stuck around for as long as I have after he took over.
“So what now?” she asks.
“Now you get ready for the day and go to work. I have my own day of work to get to. I’ll get dinner ready for tonight and start working on planning our first date.”
She looks up at me, eyes wide. “Already?”
“Better now than never. I don’t want to waste any time. I think we both can agree that life can be cut short. I want to enjoy every minute of it,” I tell her. “With you.”
She blushes a little as she stands. “All right. I’ll see you later then?”
I nod. “Tonight.”
She takes a couple of steps toward the hall.
“Rain.” She stops and looks over her shoulder at me. “I hope you know that I’m going to make you fall in love with me.”
Fear and uncertainty flash through her eyes.
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she says quietly.
Before I can say anything, she rushes down the hall like her ass is on fire.
What she doesn’t know is the only one who has to worry about getting their heart crushed is me. Because one thing is for sure—if she gives me her heart, I’ll do everything in my power to protect it.