Chapter Four
Alexia
I held my breath as I watched him leave, then blew it out slowly when I was all alone. Lowering myself back down into my chair, I stared at the now empty seat he’d occupied.
I’d never been so attracted to a client. It didn’t help to learn the one who screwed up in his previous relationship was his ex, not him. From the sounds of it, she regretted the ultimatum she’d issued, and—while I was sure he wasn’t perfect, because no man was—he seemed like a good dad. The fact that he was legitimately standing up for his rights to share the responsibility of parenting his children, it was a rare and admirable quality that made an already hot guy even hotter.
‘If you’re tellin’ me we’re doin’ this, I’ll just have to ask you out after we put this issue to bed.’
The weightless sensation I felt earlier returned as I replayed his words in my head. It was probably stupid to hope he meant what he said. I had enough drama in my life. I didn’t need some guy’s baby-mama-drama to add to my stack, no matter how beautiful his eyes were.
I raked my fingers through my hair and then looked down at my notes. It was all the reminder I needed that I didn’t have time to think about a hypothetical date with Jed Barker. I had half a dozen cases that needed my attention, his being one of them. I was determined to show up to that mediation over- prepared—but first, I still had court prep to finish.
I was in the process of organizing the mess I made at my desk when I spotted the card the scary crony left behind. I hesitated and stared at it for a minute. It was black on both sides with only an address printed on the front. I didn’t know what kind of trouble Alejo had gotten himself into, but I could guess.
With a sigh, I tossed the card into the bin. I wasn’t going to need the address. The only address I planned on visiting belonged to Felix Garcia.
Alejo had some explaining to do.
It was after six by the time I was ready to leave the office. My sandwich from lunch was all but forgotten by my hungry stomach, but dinner was going to have to wait until after I paid my brother a visit.
Felix lived in a one-bedroom apartment not too far from the firm. It was only a couple of minutes away from the high school, where he worked as a janitor. I didn’t think it was the best fit, given he was not my idea of a responsible adult, but he wasn’t violent; he’d never been arrested; and he wasn’t into hard drugs, which made him perfectly employable.
He and Alejandro had been close since junior high. Whenever one of them wanted to do something stupid, the other would always have his back. It was mostly harmless, but neither of them seemed to have fully grown out of it, which had its own consequences. Even after Felix became a father, he remained notoriously unreliable.
He was a pretty boy, which happened to be Bella’s weakness. For the longest time, she had a crush on him, but he didn’t see her. She was Alejo’s baby sister until her twenty-first birthday. That very night, she got drunk, made her move, and they were inseparable for three years.
They could have given a master class on how to fight, seeing as they did it all the time. They had loved each other in that fiercely toxic sort of way. Even now, in spite of the lies and regrets and pain between them, I knew they loved each other.
Every year, the day after Christmas, they still hooked up.
Bella didn’t know I knew, but it didn’t take a genius to figure it out.
I wasn’t sure about the significance of the date, but I knew it had been going on for years. It kind of broke my heart thinking about it. Partly because I wanted my sister to move on and to find happiness with a man who would love her completely. Partly because Felix could have been that guy if he wanted to be, but he didn’t.
I spotted Alejandro’s car in the lot when I pulled in. I parked next to it before making my way inside the appropriate building. Felix’s unit was on the ground floor. The hallway reeked of a combination of scents embedded in the old carpet. When I reached his door, I could hear the TV. It sounded like they were playing video games, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes and knocked loudly, instead.
Someone paused the game before Felix yelled, “Who is it?”
“It’s me. Alexia. Open up.”
I waited a full thirty seconds before I heard the lock give way.
Felix opened the door, and I was almost knocked over by the smell of marijuana.
His mop of black, curly hair looked like it hadn’t been recently washed, and his chocolate brown eyes were further proof he was totally stoned. I shouldn’t have been impressed that his shirt looked clean and he was wearing pants, but I was.
I pulled my top lip between my teeth and willed myself to remain calm.
It wasn’t legal, but it wasn’t heroin, or cocaine, or meth, either.
Sealing my eyes closed tight, I frowned, annoyed that I was relieved my addict of a brother was likely only high on Mary Jane and not Molly .
“Yo, what’s up?” asked Felix.
I opened my eyes and forced a smile. “I’m here for Alejandro,” I said before inviting myself inside.
The place was disgusting. There were dirty clothes everywhere. My guess was the laundry belonged to Alejo, who had been living out of a duffle for the last six months. There were pizza boxes, beer bottles, and bags of Chinese takeout discarded and abandoned on every hard surface as far as my eye could see. How anyone lived in such conditions, I couldn’t say.
I had every intention of leaving as soon as possible.
“Hey, you,” Alejo mumbled through a lazy smile from where he sat slouched on the couch.
His greeting made me pause.
He was high, but those two words were always a reminder that it had been him and me from the very beginning of our existence.
“Hey,” I spoke in response. “We need to talk.”
“‘Bout what?” he asked innocently.
“I got a visit today from two guys who had no business being in my office. Didn’t catch their names, but they told me Rocco had summoned me.”
Alejo sat up, suddenly a smidge more alert. “Oh, shit. Right. That.”
“That? That what ? Who is Rocco, and what does he want?”
“I’m just going to not be here for this.”
I glanced over my shoulder and watched as Felix disappeared down the hallway before shutting himself into his bedroom.
Refocusing my attention on my brother, I raised my eyebrows and repeated, “Who is Rocco and what does he want?”
“Okay, hear me out,” he began, nervously running his fingers through his hair. “It’s only a little set-back. I’m gonna fix it. I just need a little time—I needed to buy some time.”
“ Alejandro —who is Rocco and what does he want ?” I asked through gritted teeth.
He hesitated a moment longer then said, “He’s—he’s my supplier.” Before I could utter a word, Alejo held up his hands and stammered, “It’s—it’s—it’s not what you think. I work for him. I mean, sort of. He’s not my supplier like you think. I’ve, uhm, I’ve been selling for him.”
It felt like he punched me in the gut, forcing out all the air in my lungs.
“Excuse me?” I managed on a whisper.
“I needed the money. It’s good money, Lexi.”
I knew it was pointless and idiotic, but I couldn’t help but argue, “Good money? Alejo, by definition, drug money is dirty money. I thought you had a job. Like a real job, with a paycheck and a W2!”
“Alexia, look at me. Look at this place. I can’t stay here forever. I was making chump change.”
I buried my fingers in my hair, pressing my palms against my temples. “How is it possible that I have to remind you, you went to jail for drug possession? And now you’re, what? Out on the street selling drugs? Do you understand what will happen if you get caught a second time? Oh, my god, Alejo!”
“It’s not like that. You don’t understand. Rocco runs a tight ship. His guys don’t get caught.”
“Um, okay ,” I retorted mockingly. I dropped my hands to my sides, balling my fingers into fists. “Let’s talk about Rocco. Why did he send those guys to my office? Why is he summoning me? Why does he even know that I exist?”
“I know you’re upset but hear me out. I’m in a little bit of a jam. I had a deadline, and I missed it. Now, I can still get the money, but I need some more time. Until I get the cash, I’m in his debt and, um, no one is in his debt. I gotta pay up. I—Lexi I need you to float me some cash.”
I laughed so I wouldn’t cry. “You’re joking.”
“Come on, Lexi. It’s me. I know you’re good for it.”
“Good for what?”
“Ten grand.”
I gaped at him, and I could feel my eyes start to fill with tears.
“Ten—ten grand,” I breathed.
“I’ll pay you back, melliza , I swear.”
We stared at each other for a long moment.
There was desperation in his hazy eyes, but I’d fallen for that look before. Too many times.
“No,” I shook my head and pulled in a deep breath through my nose, determined not to shed a single tear. “No.”
“Lexi…”
“No, Alejo. No! As a matter of fact, I don’t have ten grand on hand.”
It was true. I had nine, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. There was no way I was draining my savings to cover his drug debt .
“You’re lying.”
“Don’t. Don’t talk to me about lying,” I said, slowly backing my way toward the door. “You’re the liar. You’ve been lying to all of us, for I don’t even know how long. And I don’t want to know. I can’t help you. Not this time.”
“Alexia.” He stood to his feet. “I’m begging you. I don’t know what he’ll do to me.”
I wasn’t going to be able to hold back my tears much longer. I needed to get out of there. I was angry and disappointed, but his fear made me scared, too.
“I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep saving you. None of us can, don’t you see that? You need to learn how to save yourself, Alejo. For once in your life, be a grown up and figure it out.”
I turned on my heel and hurried toward the door.
My hand was reaching for the handle when he cried, “You’re a real pretentious bitch, you know that?”
My breath caught as my first tear fell.
His words pierced me straight through, and I felt a pain I’d never experienced before—the sharp edges of his declaration scraping at my insides, leaving a ripped, gnarly, bloody wound.
I paused and tried to swallow the knot clogging my throat.
I didn’t have it in me to face him as I muttered over my shoulder, “I love you too, mellizo .”
As soon as I was in the hallway, I sped out of there as fast as my feet could carry me in my heels. When I was behind the wheel of my car, I buried my face in my hands and let myself cry.
I wasn’t sure what I just did or what fate would befall him without my help—but I couldn’t do it. No matter how much I loved him, this was too much. He’d gone too far. And what hurt the most was that he couldn’t see the way he made me no more than his ATM.
He didn’t take into consideration my safety or my wellbeing.
He didn’t care about my hopes and my dreams.
We shared a womb and a life, and tonight all I was good for was ten grand.
The moment I said no, I wasn’t his twin or his best friend, I was only the pretentious bitch with no interest in selling my soul.
When my sob had subsided, I started my car and began my journey home.
I hated knowing when I got there I’d be all alone.
I needed a friend, but I didn’t have one I could burden with this. Even though I grew up in Gillette, I’d lost touch with most of the girls I hung out with in high school. They were either married with children or gone to another town and another life. I didn’t really have friends at work, either. Cora was great, but we weren’t that close. In truth, I hadn’t let anyone get that close in a while. I was so busy trying to get ahead in my career and keep up with life’s obstacles, I had only myself to blame.
Upon reaching my apartment complex, I parked in my usual spot and wiped away the last of my tears. Wallowing wasn’t going to help me feel better. For a second, I thought about calling Bella—but I didn’t want to worry her and mami. Selfish as it was, I didn’t have the capacity to be strong for all of us.
I forced myself out of my car and trudged my way up to my unit.
My stomach growled as I let myself in, but I wasn’t in the mood to cook.
Instead, I kicked off my heels, discarded my purse, and headed for the freezer.
A half a pint of mint-chocolate chip ice cream greeted me.
There was fat, protein, and carbs in ice cream.
In some universe, it was the perfect meal.
Just then, I decided I existed in that universe.
I grabbed the container and a spoon, then made my way to the couch.