Chapter 3 #2
"So, tell me what happened?" Trek probed before biting into his burger.
I cleared my throat from the salty fries I'd just consumed. The fries were my favorite side at the Burger Royale. There was a hint of sweetness from the fry mix they had us use.
"Mook. He can't get out of his own way. I now understand that we made it this far because of me.
He allowed me to carry the burden of a full relationship.
It was mostly my fault. I shouldn't have stayed that damn long.
His lifestyle could've killed Deshoni last night.
It could've sent me down that dark path again. "
I exhaled, trying not to think about the pill addiction I'd once struggled with.
"I came home from class, and Deshoni was crying so loud that I could hear him down the hallway of our apartment.
There were pills and cocaine all over the table.
What if Deshoni had climbed out of bed and ingested those drugs?
This whole moment wouldn't be happening.
His diaper was soiled, his clothes were soaking wet, and he was hungry.
Mook was knocked out on the couch, high, as usual.
It was then that I realized our relationship wasn't worth my son's life or my peace.
I'm hurt because I loved him a great deal, but it hurts to know that neither I nor Deshoni was worth changing for.
Mook continued to choose his habit and the streets over us, so I chose our lives over him.
I'll be fine, but I blame myself for staying so damn long out of familiarity. It was surely pointless."
I went back to my fries and watched a family of geese pass in front of us, heading to the other side. This was what I needed: to get some fresh air in my lungs and bask in the presence of my security blanket.
Trek exhaled. "Before I respond, let me ask you, do you want me to respond, or are you simply venting?"
He was thoughtful and considerate of my feelings. Trek's emotional intelligence was through the roof. I really didn't need any advice because I'd already done the hard part, but I didn't mind hearing his feedback.
"You can share whatever is on your mind." I looked at him and he nodded.
"Thank you. I really don't have any feedback because you've already made the courageous decision to leave and follow through with it.
You know my home is yours and Deshoni's for however long you need.
What I will add is that if you're thinking you're a fool, then dead that shit.
We're never fools for trying to love someone or make them see our worth.
It's their loss, not ours. You are one brave, kind, and strong woman, bestie.
Mook missed out on a real one, which will forever be his loss.
But are you sure you're ready to walk away from him?
Y'all have gone back and forth many times. What made this time so different?"
"I'm definitely done. The thought of my son eating those drugs and never seeing him again woke me up. It was like an epiphany. There is something I left out, though."
"What happened?" Trek queried in a concerned tone.
I sighed and stopped walking to face him.
"Mook didn't put his hands on me, but he did try to prevent us from leaving.
So, I threw a handful of coke in his face and ran out.
Deshoni and I don't have any of our clothes, shoes, or essentials.
We only have what I picked up from the mini mart drive-thru. "
Trek stared a hole in me. I nibbled on my lower lip until my eyes watered, and I had to look away. Trek dropped our food bag on the ground. My tears fell, and he pulled me into another tight hug.
"It's not you I'm pissed at. I'm trying to control my emotions because I don't want to put a bullet in that nigga's head for grabbing on you.
Fuck that shit you left there. We'll get up and go to the mall early.
Junior will be here today after school, so I'm sure there are some new kicks and phone cases his ass wants.
Plus, I don't wanna hear no shit about me spending money on yo' ass either.
What's the sense of havin' money if I can't spend it on my best friend? "
Trek separated us and looked into my eyes.
"You are a queen. I've always told you that.
You're the only woman who can get my ass together within seconds, all while still showing me love.
With that bum ass nigga, you've been livin' below your means.
It's time you enjoyed some princess treatment.
How does that sound? When you're ready, then I'll help you look for your own place. "
Trek's large hand stroked my cheek as he stared into my eyes. I couldn't help but admire how the autumn environment affected his eye shade. They were so beautiful. It was almost as if I were watching the screensaver on a computer switch from one autumn background to the next.
I sniffled and nodded. "Yes. That sounds amazing. I don't wanna wear out my welcome, so when you're ready for us to leave, just let me know."
Trek scoffed and let me go. "Girl, that shit would never happen. I can guarantee you that. If it were up to me, we'd be together forever."
Both of us froze at his admittance. Did he mean it the way I thought, or was he on some friend shit? He smiled and pecked my forehead.
Trek picked up our food bag before wrapping his arm around my shoulders. He smoothly dismissed what he had just admitted. I decided not to dwell on it.
"We're going to get through this one day at a time, bestie."
"You're right." He was right. I believed every word Trek told me. Not only that, since I was already down, I had no choice but to go up.
"Cheese bites," he voiced.
"And apple slices," I replied. That was code for we loved each other. I hoped that one day I'd be able to hear the real words come from his mouth.
<<<
I yawned as I exited the building of my class.
It was late, but I was free. Trek had the boys and made dinner for us.
I couldn't wait to stuff my belly, shower, and cuddle next to my baby boy.
The lights from the campus patrol pulled me from my thoughts, and I looked up.
The tired smile I wore as I thought about Deshoni and Trek faded at the sight of Mook. An unexpected breath of air escaped me.
His souped-up muscle car was parked right in front of the building while he leaned against it.
The streetlight he stood under highlighted his black jogging suit with a neon strip down the sides and his neon sneakers to match.
Mook's long locs were in a fishtail down his back, and a big watch adorned his wrist. From where I stood, I could see how angry his eyes were, even if his face didn't show it.
He curled his finger for me to come here.
"Fuck," I cussed under my breath, but I stayed rooted in place. I was too afraid to move. There was no telling what he had planned, but I wasn't going out like no punk ass bitch either.
"Travel, if I tell you one more time to come here, we gon' have some fuckin' problems! Get yo' ass over here!" he shouted.
I flinched. That shout was all the motivation I needed to make a fuckin' move.
I was closer to the building's door than to my car, but my ID was in my wallet, so I wouldn't be able to reach it in time to swipe and get inside.
My key fob was in my hand. I always had it out and ready because I got out of class late.
Running to my car was the only chance I had.
Campus security had already made its rounds here, so I had to make a break for it.
"Get over here now!"
Yup, his ass was on bullshit. Run! I commanded myself. Without giving it a second thought, I sprinted to the right for my parking spot. I ran as fast as my legs and backpack could carry me.
After running between a few rows of cars, I looked over my shoulder as I sprinted between two vehicles. Mook was on my ass. His arm was outstretched, looking to grab me. He was seconds away from grabbing my backpack.
My ass was shifty, though. I swiftly took a left turn, and a loud groan filled my ears.
"Fuck! I'ma kill yo' ass, Travel!" Mook hollered and groaned behind me.
I slowed down to see his big ass on the ground, holding his knee. He was lying in front of two cars.
Shit. I know I made the situation worse, but oh well, I had lived to see another day. I raced back to my car and hurriedly sped away once I made it inside. My heart raced out of my chest, and I was out of breath.
My palms were sweaty as hell, and I sat uncomfortably behind the wheel with my backpack still on.
Regardless of all my discomfort, I flowed my car to Trek's house.
I was scared as hell of Mook, but what frightened me even more was what Trek would do if he found out about tonight.
I didn't want him to kill Mook, so I'd keep tonight to myself for now.