Chapter 6
CHAPTER
SIX
DARE
I watch Chassis eat, and as I do, it dawns on me that I’ve never actually watched a woman eat before. Kaitlin didn’t eat. She did a lot of drugs, but she didn’t eat. And at the time, it seemed normal because I wasn’t necessarily clean, either.
We were young and partying until she ended up so deep in her addiction that it was clear she couldn’t dig herself out of it.
It began to rule her life and take complete control of every part of her.
No matter how hard Wrath and I both tried to dig her out, she didn’t want to quit, and she sure as fuck didn’t want help.
I can’t believe that Kaitlin even entered my thoughts and so deep into them in just a few seconds’ time. I’ve spent years trying to forget she even existed, that my part in her fate existed, but she keeps coming back to haunt me, which, to be fair, she probably should.
It wasn’t a good time in my life, and I’m not proud of what I did to her. I was desperate, Wrath was desperate, and in the end, so was Kaitlin. I had no way of knowing how to deal with her addiction, though. And I had no way to fix her.
“You look a million miles away,” Chassis murmurs.
I take the last fry, pop it into my mouth, and chew a few times before I swallow. My body jerks slightly as I’m brought back to this reality, and I am able to lock the past away.
“That’s because I was deep in thought about the past.”
Chassis scrunches her nose. “That doesn’t sound like fun.” She’s fucking adorable, and I know she’s been through shit, but I hope she never has to go through anything like I did with Kaitlin.
“Because it’s not,” I grunt. Reaching for the desserts, I open one container and then the other. “Peanut butter chocolate pie and caramel cheesecake,” I state.
I’m trying really hard to change the subject, because if I don’t, I’m going to talk about Kaitlin, and I’m not ready to go there with Chassis, wife or not. I’d rather just shove it deep down in my gut and pretend it never happened. Avoid anything and everything about it.
It’s time to change subjects, and what better way to do that than to eat some dessert? I never met anything sweet I didn’t like, dessert or otherwise.
Chassis reaches her fork forward, dipping it into the peanut butter chocolate pie. I watch as she lifts it to her lips, then slips it inside. The moan that escapes from her throat sends a signal to my cock, and it twitches against my zipper.
Fuck. My control is slipping.
“Okay,” she announces. “The Dillinger is elite takeout. I’m in serious trouble because I have a DoorDash account and I’m going to use it. You’ll have to roll me to the hospital on my due date.”
Her announcement makes me laugh. I can’t keep from chuckling, but then I watch as her cheeks tint pink, as if she didn’t mean to mention the hospital and delivering this baby. But mine or not, the baby is going to come, and there’s no sense in pretending it doesn’t exist.
“Don’t call DoorDash. Just ask me, babe. I’d be happy to bring it home.”
I don’t know what caused me to say those words, but I can’t be sorry I did, even though I probably shouldn’t have. But I would be happy to bring her whatever she needs. I’ve been avoiding her for months, and I shouldn’t be.
“That’s really sweet, but you don’t have to do that.”
Leaning back in my chair, I watch as she picks at the pie, and then her fork finds its way to the cheesecake. I think about her father and her brothers. I don’t know how close she was with them before all of this happened, but they haven’t come to town to see her, so I would imagine she’s lonely.
“Have you talked with your dad at all?”
Chassis sets her fork down, then slowly shifts her gaze to meet mine. Her eyes search my own for a moment before she clears her throat. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Why?” I ask.
I’m confused as fuck, because Cake obviously gives a shit about her—otherwise, he would have just turned his back on her situation, but instead, he found a solution that would protect her and keep her baby safe as well.
“I screwed up and could have gotten a lot of people hurt. It still might happen. I feel really stupid.”
“Stupid?” I ask.
She hums, dipping her chin in a single nod before she shifts her gaze away, only to bring it back to meet my own. When our eyes are connected, I see the absolute wreck she is on the inside. She’s taking on far too fucking much, and I imagine it can’t be good for the baby, either.
I open my mouth to say something, though I’m not sure exactly what. She continues speaking, thankfully, so I don’t have to try to think of what to say. But as she does, I find myself wondering what the fuck Cake’s problem is and decide to give him a call tomorrow.
“I let someone take advantage of me. I knew who he was, and I stupidly thought he liked me for me, not because he wanted to use me as leverage to get to my dad, to get to the club.”
I snort, not because I think she’s stupid, too, but because in the end, that shit didn’t even matter. “Fucked-up thing?”
“What?” she asks.
Clearing my throat, I lean back a little more in my seat. “We’re in bed with the Russians anyway, so it didn’t even fucking matter.”
Her eyes widen, and for a moment, I regret telling her the truth, but she needs to know.
Deserves it. And I would hate for her to find out from anyone else.
Maybe she’ll want to leave me and go back to her Russian.
She could do that, and I wouldn’t fight her.
Chassis can have whatever she wants from me. However that looks.