Chapter 12
CHAPTER
TWELVE
DARE
We walk into a tiny room with just enough space for Chassis, me, the doctor, and a nurse.
A new nurse walks into the room. There are several machines with monitors, and I take a seat on one of the chairs, leaning forward slightly as I rest my elbows against my knees.
Tipping my chin, I look down at the floor, at my boots, and somehow become mesmerized by the scuff marks there.
I don’t know what to feel right now. I’m not really someone who does well with uncertainty. I’m usually the one in charge of everything, but I can’t be in charge of this, not of any part of it, which makes me feel uneasy and unsure.
Being unsure is so much of a fucking liability in my world. It’s not even funny. A few moments later, a sound fills the room. It’s a quick thumping sound. I don’t really know what’s happening right now, but the doctor tells me to look up.
And I do.
There, in an orangey glow, is something on the screen that I can’t quite comprehend. And then the doctor begins to speak. She explains what everything is before switching to black and white, and then she switches places with the nurse, who begins to move the mouse around the screen.
“I’m taking measurements,” the nurse explains.
“Then I’ll look at everything,” the doctor announces.
This all seems like a lot, but what the fuck do I know? Not a goddamn thing. I didn’t even know what organs were inside Chassis’s body, apparently, judging by the posters and diagrams and shit in the other room.
“Measurements?” I ask, my throat dry as fuck.
She’s clicking away as if it’s no big deal. She sees it every single day, all day long, but holy fucking shit, I’m looking at a baby. The baby that is inside her body right now.
Holy fucking shit.
This is real.
I’m not sure how long we’re in the room or how long I stare at the screen, but then the nurse turns her head, and her eyes land on me, then on Chassis before she looks back to me. I don’t know if I should be concerned by her expression, but slowly, her lips curve up into a grin before she speaks.
“Would you like to know what you’re having?” the nurse asks.
I tear my gaze away from the screen and look over to Chassis. Her eyes meet mine, and for a moment, the entire fucking world melts away. There is just her and me in this room, nobody else.
“It’s completely up to you,” I say, breaking the silence.
I know it’s up to her. I’m not giving her any sort of permission. Everything about the two of us, about our lives and marriage, is up to her. I know I’ve been keeping my distance from her, but it’s what’s best.
She didn’t choose me, and I didn’t choose her. Although, for me at least, it’s not a hardship having this absolutely stunning young woman at my side. I would imagine she could do a hell of a lot better than an old man like me.
“Let’s find out, Amos,” she whispers, and fucking hell, you know what? When she says my name like that… I’ll do just about anything.
“Let’s find out, Skel.”
Her lips curve up into a grin, and both of us shift our attention back to the screen. The woman clicks a few more things, then she turns her head again, this time her eyes focusing on Chassis.
“Congrats, Mama, it’s a boy.”
My stomach drops.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that, but I don’t like it. Standing, I walk out of the room. It’s selfish, I know. I should have stayed and supported Chassis, or whatever the fuck I’m supposed to do, but hearing that makes me fucking sick.
Moving out of the office, I head straight outside and stand on the sidewalk. I close my eyes and inhale a deep breath, holding it for a moment before I let it out slowly. What the actual fuck am I supposed to do?
Taking my phone out of my pocket, I find a name and touch the icon there. I haven’t talked to him since he unloaded his pregnant daughter on me, but I think it’s time we have a little conversation.
“Chass good?” he barks as his greeting.
I almost laugh, because she’s probably fine, but me? I’m decidedly not fucking good. Not in the goddamn slightest.
“We’re at the doctor’s. She’s fine and so is the baby,” I murmur, but I don’t give him the opportunity to continue before I start talking again. “It’s a boy.”
“Goddammit,” Cake hisses. “You’re shitting me?”
“I’m not.”
There is a long moment of silence. I can hear him breathing heavily in my ear, no doubt his stomach having had the exact same reaction as mine hearing the words.
I don’t know why I didn’t think about this yesterday or even a month ago, but the moment the word boy came out of the nurse’s mouth, I fucking felt like I’d been hit by a goddamn truck.
No way in fuck is that Russian going to stay away knowing he’s got a son in the world.
“It’s going to be war,” I state.
Cake grunts. “We need a meeting.”
“Bring your sons and your top officers. Church at the clubhouse. Tomorrow at two.”
“We’ll be there.”
Ending the call, I shove the phone in my pocket and turn around to go back to get Chassis when I come face to face with her.
She.
Is.
Pissed.