Chapter 15
CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
CHASSIS
Sitting in the passenger seat, my belly full of food, an ultrasound picture in hand, and a heart full of anxiety, I expect Amos to take me straight to the clubhouse, but he doesn’t. Instead, he hits the highway and heads out of town. I open my mouth to ask him where we’re going but decide not to.
I’m nervous.
Then, as if he can sense my unasked question, he clears his throat, reaches for the radio volume, and turns down the new Skillet song that’s just been released before he begins to speak.
“We’re headed to a store. You need clothes and whatever baby shit you want to see in person.”
I press my lips together, unsure that he’s just said what he has and also unsure that he would know where to even get those kinds of things. I open my mouth to ask him, but he shakes his head once, effectively shutting me up.
“Amos,” I whisper.
He doesn’t say anything immediately, but when I hear him speak next, I know he’s trying. He had a knee-jerk reaction earlier. It wasn’t about anything I’d done. He’s worried, and when he explained to me why he instantly felt that way, I understood.
“I’ve left you alone for far too long. You don’t know anyone here. You don’t have the things you need. It’s my job to provide all of that for you, Skel. So we’re going shopping today, and tomorrow, your family is coming to town. We’ll BBQ or something after our meeting.”
For a moment, I forget that none of this is real. It feels like it very well could be—my family coming for a party, shopping with my husband. It’s all too domestic. It makes me want to believe that we could be more than what we are: nothingness and fakeness.
It takes us about half an hour to get to Henderson, where all the shopping is. Amos pulls into the parking lot of a big-box retailer. When I lived in Vegas, this was one of my favorite stores. I would go to the closest one, buy a coffee, and just walk around and look at all the things.
Samuil refused to go anywhere near one and would get annoyed if I mentioned going.
I turn to face Amos, ready to ask him how he found out about this store, because he’s definitely someone who doesn’t shop here, not even for his socks.
I would probably guess that the clubwhores are the ones buying the things he uses on a regular basis.
“I looked up what places would have maternity clothes and baby shit, and this is what came up.”
My heart squeezes at the fact that he actually searched for a place to take me for this. Even if it’s probably just so that my father doesn’t think he’s neglecting me. It’s still sweet. At least that’s what I’ve decided.
“I should have done this a long time ago. I thought by leaving you my credit card, you would have bought yourself some shit, but I wasn’t clear. I didn’t tell you that’s what you could use it for. I just assumed you would.”
“I have some of my own money still, and when the baby is born, I’ll start looking for another marketing job. Maybe I can even find something online.”
I’ve been using Amos’s card for groceries, and I did buy the crib from hell with a million pieces with it. But I didn’t want to take advantage. I also didn’t think that I was going to need maternity clothes.
In my head, I had planned on only gaining weight in my belly and nowhere else, which I realize is stupid, but I was also in denial that all of this was really happening. But it is happening, and I’m getting bigger everywhere.
I need clothes.
“Work is not something you need to worry about unless it’s what you want, Skel. Right now, focus on you, the baby, staying healthy, and staying safe. That’s all. I got you. Whatever you need, whatever you want, it’s yours.”
Reaching across the center console, I wrap my fingers around his wrist and squeeze gently. He’s saying the nicest things, and I want to believe all of them, but he’s already taken on a hell of a lot that is not his to take on. I won’t have him pissing his money away, too.
“It’s not what I want, Amos. It’s what’s right. This isn’t real, and I should not expect you to pay for me. You already do more than I deserve. A free house and all those bills, food, and then you bought a crib. It’s already too much.”
Amos shakes his head once, his gaze finding mine and holding it for a little too long. I shift in my seat, somewhat uncomfortable with the silence and the way he’s looking into my eyes. I press my lips together, my breathing coming out in heavier pants.
He lifts the opposite hand from the one I’ve got my fingers curled around, and then his warm, calloused palm slides against my cheek, stopping as he holds me there. At his touch, my breathing instantly calms down and I let out a long exhale in a whoosh.
“What’s right is me taking care of my wife, however that looks. Our relationship may not be conventional, but make no mistake about it, Chassis, you are my wife. Fake or not, inside our home and on paper, we are legally bound. I will take care of you, always.”
I hold my breath, wishing he would shift forward and kiss me again.
I really like the way his lips feel against mine.
But he doesn’t. Instead, his hand falls from my face, and I watch as he turns the car’s engine off and then unfolds from the front seat.
Unfortunately, that means I have to release my grasp on his wrist.
I’m unable to take my eyes off him as he walks around the front of my car, approaches my side, and tugs the door open. He extends his hand, palm facing up, to help me out of the car.
I slip my hand in his and stand from the car, and then move closer to him. Amos gently tugs me closer and looks into my eyes… searching them. He dips his chin slightly, his lips curved up into a grin.
“Let’s do this.”