Chapter 33
CHAPTER
THIRTY-THREE
CHASSIS
Only you, sweetheart.
My entire body trembles at his words. I don’t know why, but his words, they slam into me, or maybe that’s my heart slamming against my ribs. I’m not sure which way is up right now, and I can’t make out what’s what over the blood rushing in my ears.
A thumping moves throughout my entire body, through my blood, slamming into my ears, as I think about those words. I want to believe him so badly. That there is only me... forever. I know the ways of their world, and I’m likely going to get hurt over and over again by this man.
This beautiful man with eyes that can see right through me.
This man who’s not only taken on me, but this baby, too, when he didn’t have to do either. I mean, sure, my dad asked him, and he did him a favor. But he could have put me up at the clubhouse and pretended I didn’t exist.
But Amos cared for me and protected me when he didn’t have to.
He gave me a home, freedom—a life.
I watch him. He gives me a wink, then shifts his attention back to his food. I watch as he picks up his fork, sinking it down into the casserole I made. I’m not sure if he’s even going to like my cooking.
Holding my breath, I wait for him to try the shredded chicken, pasta, cheesy broccoli dish. I breathe out slowly as I continue to watch him, waiting as he chews. I open my mouth to ask him if he likes it when, thankfully, he puts me out of my misery.
“Amazing,” Amos murmurs. “Didn’t know you could cook.”
Pride fills my chest. I square my shoulders before I pick up my fork and dip it into my own casserole. “There wasn’t a whole lot for me to do as a teenager, well, before I could drive. So I played in the kitchen.”
“And after you could drive?” he asks.
My cheeks heat as I think about all the trouble I got into once I had my license. It wasn’t like I did anything too bad, but I did run around a bit. House parties or field parties with friends. But I shouldn’t have been doing it.
“I was busy being dumb,” I murmur.
Amos snorts. “Sounds about right for the age. I think that phase lasted for about thirty years for me, maybe longer.”
Taking another bite, I think about asking him if all of this is real. Just to get the clarification that I feel I need. Well, maybe it’s not that I need it, but really that I just want it. I want him to clarify that this isn’t just a favor he’s doing for my father. That he doesn’t want anyone else.
That it’s real.
We finish dinner, and as we do, the conversation shifts to my brother, and I ask him where my brother will be living, because I can’t imagine him here in this house. It only has two bedrooms, and the baby’s room is a mess.
“He’ll be living down at the clubhouse in one of the spare rooms. He’ll only be watching you part of the time, when I can’t be here.”
I start to ask him where he’s going to be, but I don’t get the chance because he continues. “I have enough prospects to keep someone on the front porch at all times, but I’d rather have someone I can undoubtedly trust when I’m not home.”
Taking another bite of food, I take my time chewing, wondering how I’m going to ask him if this is real when it’s only been a week—even though I’ve been here longer than that. All the while, I’m wanting something that I shouldn’t even be asking for yet.
He’s already given me so much more than I ever expected. So I decide not to say anything. I’m just going to ride this roller coaster. So far, it hasn’t disappointed me, and I can’t imagine it will anytime soon.
“I want you to make a list of all the shit we need for the baby,” Amos announces out of nowhere.
I open my mouth, then snap it closed, because I don’t know how to respond. I don’t know what I need, and right now, I don’t know if I can even think about it. I have to admit that I’m scared and I want to know what is happening.
So I decide to shift the conversation—partially because I don’t want to think about all the things I need, mainly because I have no idea what I actually need, and also because it’s going to drive me insane if I don’t have the slightest idea of what is going on with Samuil.
“Can you tell me anything about what’s happening?”
“Happening?” he asks.
Sliding my tongue across my bottom lip, I nod once. “I know you went somewhere with my dad, and after that, you announced my brother was going to be staying here a while. Can you tell me anything?”
He places the last bite of food into his mouth, slides the fork out, and then sets it down on the plate. Slowly, he shifts his focus. His eyes lift and meet mine. My breath hitches, but I wait.
“Right now, everything is up in the air. We’ve talked to whom we need to speak to. He’s aware of the situation, but I know people can be unpredictable, and so does Cake, which is why Gauge is going to watch over you for a while.”
I open my mouth to protest that I don’t need Gauge watching over me, even if I probably do. He doesn’t let me say a word, though. His lips twitch into a smirk, and his nostrils flare, but he doesn’t break eye contact with me.
“If it were up to me, that fuck would be dead already. But I can’t start a war.”
War.
Just the word sends a chill down my spine. Fear. The last time there was a war, I was a little girl. People died. I don’t know what I would do if my father, my brothers, or Amos died—over me.
I’m not worth it, that’s for damn sure.