Chapter 47
CHAPTER
FORTY-SEVEN
CHASSIS
Lifting my hand to my mouth, I tap my teeth a couple of times with my fingernail.
I don’t know how I’m going to shake my brother and get back to meet with Samuil.
I need to tell him that the deal is off.
There is just no damn way I’ll be able to do what he wants me to do, even though I don’t know what it is.
I’m not naive enough to think that what it is will be innocent. It’s going to involve betraying the club—my father’s club, my husband’s club—and I can’t do that. No, I won’t do that. The last thing I ever want to do is betray my family.
“You want to tell me something, so talk,” Gauge announces.
Turning my head, I look over to him, dropping my hand to my lap as I begin to twist my fingers together there.
He’s staring at me, waiting for me to say something.
He’s not the brother I open up to and have heartfelt conversations with.
But as he watches me, waiting for me to say something, I feel like I could.
But I don’t.
“Nothing,” I exhale. “I just don’t want to sit around here all day waiting for something that isn’t going to happen.”
He arches a brow, his gaze searching mine. “You got anywhere you need to be?”
I press my lips together, rolling them a few times before I shift my gaze back to meet his. He’s watching me, unmoving, unblinking. He knows that whatever is rolling around inside my head, it’s got to be big.
And it is.
If I tell him, he could go to Amos, and then I’d be in some serious shit. I have no idea how he would react to what I’ve done. Releasing my fingers from being tangled together, I lift my hand and place my palm against my forehead—I feel hot… feverish.
I can feel my brother watching me in the silence.
He, without a doubt, is going to start asking some more invasive questions soon.
I don’t know how much I can hide from him.
I can try to hide what I’m thinking and the way I’m feeling from Amos, but Gauge has known me since the day I was born.
He can read me like a book. Maybe not Clutch so much, but Gauge and Piston can.
“You’re a fuckin’ liar,” he grunts. “Tell me what you did.”
“Nothing,” I lie.
He snorts, leaning forward, his face close to mine as his eyes search my own. “Tell me, Chassis. What the fuck did you do?”
“I can’t,” I whisper.
“Dare fuck with you? Hurt you at all?”
I gasp at the question. I can’t believe he would even ask me that. Shaking my head from side to side, almost violently, I press my lips together. I suck in a deep breath, hold it for a moment and let it out slowly.
“He would never. Amos is better than I deserve,” I murmur.
“Then what? And don’t jerk me around, Chassis. Don’t have me sitting here with a thumb up my ass when I could be doing something.”
I’d love to pretend that he isn’t spot on, but he is. “Okay,” I say. “Okay.”
I don’t speak immediately. I’m not really sure what to say or how to say it.
I want to tell him the truth, but I also know that if I do, he’ll probably tell me I’m an idiot and tell Amos everything, which will ruin what we have.
I’m not sure our relationship can withstand me being that big of an idiot.
“Promise me it’s between us?”
His lips twitch into a smirk, and he gives me a wink, then dips his chin in a single nod.
But I don’t believe him. I know he’ll tell on me the moment he hears what I have done.
I guess I’ll just have to suck it up, though, because there’s no way I’m going to be able to lose my brother and go to see Samuil.
I’m going to have to fess up and just hope he doesn’t tell Amos what an absolute idiot I’ve been.
I flick my gaze down to my lap, then bring my eyes back up to meet his, our gazes connecting before I begin.
“I went to see Samuil,” I confess.
I speak quickly in an effort to get everything out fast, almost as if it’s a Band-Aid that I need to rip off. The entire time, all I can think about is that I’ve screwed everything up. I’ve ruined my future with Amos. I just know it, and my chest tightens as I think more and more about it.
“Let me get this straight,” Gauge begins after a long moment of silence. “You went down to his office in Vegas, and then went to a café with him, where you promised him that you’d do anything.”
“Basically, that’s the long and short of it,” I mutter.
I can’t sit still for another second. Standing, I walk over to the window that looks out at the street.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I try to find some comfort.
My heart races and I try to breathe, but I’m not doing a very good job of it, because I feel like I’m going to pass out at any given second.
“Okay,” Gauge announces. “Let’s go to Vegas.”
Spinning around, I tip my head back slightly as my gaze slides up to meet his. He’s standing a few feet away from me, his hands on his hips and a smile playing on his mouth. I don’t know if I’ve just opened a gigantic can of worms or what, but my brother seems almost excited about this.
“Gauge,” I hiss.
“We’re doin’ it. I’m with you. This shit needs to be handled, and it needs to be handled sooner rather than later. And I’d rather be there when it is. No way in fuck do you need to be there alone.”
I agree. Though I don’t know what we’re going to handle, I’m more than happy to get it over with… that’s for sure.