Chapter 56
CHAPTER
FIFTY-SIX
CHASSIS
Heleni is freaking awesome. No wonder my brother likes her. She feeds me homemade sourdough bread with homemade chia seed jam, cheese, grapes, and a grilled chicken breast—reminding me I shouldn’t be eating deli meats right now. Afterward, we talk.
She tells me how she met my brother. He saved her life one night when she was on a blind date. Her car wouldn’t start… and as she says, the rest is history. But I’m very curious what that means. What history? Because I didn’t know she existed, and he very much lives in Arizona.
“This is so amazing. I really appreciate everything you’re doing for us,” I say.
Her lips curve up into a smile. I still cannot believe this hippie is into my brother and he’s into her, too. I love it, and I hope he doesn’t hurt her, because she seems really awesome.
“If you want to make me a list of some essentials, I can go to the store tomorrow. For now, I have a pair of lounge pants and an oversized shirt that should be comfortable for you to sleep in.”
Reaching across the small table, I curl my fingers around her wrist and hold on to her there. Focusing my gaze on hers, I hold my breath for just a moment as I really think about what she’s offering me. It’s everything, and I don’t know how to respond to it.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “I don’t know how to repay your kindness, but maybe someday you’ll think of a way,” I murmur as tears fill my eyes.
Heleni shakes her head a couple of times, her eyes filling with wetness as well. She blinks a few times, and the tears roll down her cheeks instantly. She doesn’t try to wipe them away. She’s watching me with a small smile on her lips.
“Your peace is the only thanks I need, Chassis. Both you and the baby being healthy and happy is all I could ever ask for.”
Her front door opens, and my brother walks into the room, holding his phone against his ear. His eyes slide to meet mine, and I hear him grunt once, then twice, before he speaks again.
“She’s right here.”
Gauge shoves the burner phone toward me. Reaching for the device, I hold it against my ear. I don’t say anything as I watch Gauge and Heleni disappear down the hallway. Only when they’re out of earshot do I speak.
“Hello?” I don’t know why I’m even saying hello.
I know who is on the other end of the line. Gauge made it clear he would be calling him after he talked to our father. I have no idea what my father said, and I’ll be asking Gauge about that later. But for now, I’ll talk to my husband.
“What the fuck, sweetheart?” he asks.
I almost laugh, but I’m pretty sure he does not find this situation funny, and honestly, neither do I.
What I did was stupid as hell. If I hadn’t gone to Samuil with some bullshit idea that I could change his mind, that I could ensure he wouldn’t do anything crazy—we wouldn’t be in this situation.
But he did anyway, and it was all for naught.
“I’m sorry. All I wanted to do was help. And then he told me to leave. He said if I disappeared, both me and the baby were safe. Gauge thought we’d vanish and then figure out what to do next. We’re safe.”
“Skel,” he says, his tone a warning.
I know I’ve probably pissed him off, but I don’t care. I had good intentions. I tried really hard to make this right, this thing I fucked up.
“I just wanted this to be done,” I whisper the confession, the truth. “I thought I could handle it, but clearly…”
My voice trails off, and I wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Saying the words makes me feel like an absolute idiot. I should have known that he would do some absolute bullshit. I should have seen it coming. But I had hope, and therein lies my problem.
Hope.
I hoped that Samuil wouldn’t be the absolute dick I knew he was.
And here I fucking am. The dick is in full fucking swing, spreading that dickness all over.
Then he got Rocky in with him, something I still don’t quite understand, but I wasn’t going to ask any probing questions because I didn’t want them to think I gave a shit about that bitch.
Even though I really wanted to know all the details about that situation.
“You should have come to me,” Dare murmurs, interrupting my thoughts. “I had a plan.”
“You didn’t tell me that,” I snap.
I’m not mad at him.
I’m pissed at myself.
Lifting my fingers to my mouth, I pinch my eyes closed, wondering if my tone was too harsh. I know my father wouldn’t accept it—even from me. He’d have something to say about it, at the very least.
“So what now?” I ask, softening my tone.
“Now you trust me to take care of this, sweetheart.”
I want to ask him about Rocky’s part in this situation. I need details, or I’m going to sit in silence and panic. Sliding my tongue along my bottom lip, I wet my flesh as I try to breathe, then bite the inside of my cheek. I can’t help but wonder what the hell is coming next.
“Amos,” I whisper. “What really happens now?”
He laughs softly, and I can’t help but wonder if he knows something I don’t know. Waiting for his response, I close my eyes slowly and just breathe, hoping that whatever comes my way isn’t devastating in some way.
“Chassis, now you trust me to take care of this shit. I’m done waiting. I’m not going to give you details. I’m going to do what needs to be done.”
“And if it starts a war?”
I know enough about this world to realize that whatever he’s about to do to Samuil could start a war, and that’s the last thing I want. When he says he’s going to do what needs to be done, that’s usually in a permanent way.
I don’t want any of his people to die because of me, and if we’re in a war, that’s what will happen… people will die.
“Then it starts a fucking war.”
“Amos,” I exhale.
He chuckles. “It’s nothing you need to worry about, sweetheart.”
Nothing to worry about is bullshit.
We both know it.
As much as I want to poke and prod him, I decide against it. I want Amos to tell me everything. I want to hear it from his lips, so I wait, and wait a little more, and then he responds to me, but it’s not the way I want him to.
“I got this, Skel. I want you to stay where you are until this shit is done. Consider yourself on virtual lockdown. Don’t go into town, don’t even hang around outside to drink your morning coffee. Stay inside, stay safe, and I’ll come for you soon.”
“Amos,” I exhale.
“I’ll come for you, Chassis.”
“Don’t take too long.” And I mean that.
I don’t want him to leave me out here. I start to tell him that I love him, but he ends the call before I can get the words out. It is probably for the best. I don’t know how he would take it anyway.
Husband or not, I don’t think we’re at the I love you stage—even though that is exactly how I feel about him. I’ve never felt this way before. When it comes to Amos, I want everything he has to give.
I want it all.
I want him, his protection, his safety, and his heart.
I want everything.
And I don’t care how selfish that makes me sound.