Chapter 58
CHAPTER
FIFTY-EIGHT
LOOT
“Do I want to know what you did with his body?” Alex asks.
“No,” I grunt, then I flick my gaze to the kitchen. “Did she eat?” I demand, sounding gruffer than I intend.
Alex clears his throat. “She showered, washed her hair, scrubbed her body almost raw, and then I made her soup before we settled on the sofa and she fell asleep almost instantly.”
Fuck.
“She say anything?” I try to keep my voice and tone a little less than over-the-fucking-top extra, which is what it was when I demanded to know if she ate. Alex is helping me, helping Juliette. I don’t need to take my stress out on him.
“Nothing, just that she was feeling guilty about killing him. That she shouldn’t have been judge and jury on that,” Alex says. “I made sure she knew that she was a fucking badass and that she saved someone else from being hurt.”
“She did,” I say. “Saved herself, too.”
“That, too, but I know she won’t give a shit about that part. She’s panicked. I don’t blame her. I would probably feel the same way if I were in her position, especially for as long as she was.”
He’s right. I know he is. If I weren’t the kind of man I am, with the background I have, I’d probably be feeling guilty, too. But I am the kind of man I am, and I don’t feel a single ounce of remorse. I’m full of goddamn glee that I made his soul suffer.
I don’t think I’ve ever been happier about cutting someone up, disemboweling them, and then dropping them in a drum of acid in my entire life. But I am, and I will never regret it, not for a single minute.
“Gotta say,” I begin, “pleased as fuck you could help today. I owe you.”
Alex’s eyes widen, then his cheeks blush. He clears his throat, looking to the dark hallway, then he shifts his attention back to meet mine. He dips his chin. “I might take you up on that one day. Not today, though. Today, I’m ready to get some sleep. You need me to do anything for Cade?”
I let out a soft laugh. “No,” I say. “But I really appreciate it. Wrath and Elodie got him taken care of for me tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll deal with that when I get there.”
“Make sure Juliette knows she comes back to work when she is ready. Not a day before. I’ll talk to Elodie, and I know she’ll agree.”
Dipping my chin in a single nod, I thank him. He leaves me alone, heading for Fantasy—who, I’m sure, should have all the blood showered off him by now. So that’s a good time. Cade isn’t at the clubhouse. Wrath and Elodie took him home, got him dinner, and he’s already tucked into bed.
He knows something is up, and tomorrow, I’m going to need to explain it to him, but I have to figure out just how to explain what happened in a way where he won’t tell anyone and where it won’t freak him the fuck out.
But that’s tomorrow’s problem. At this point, we just need to get through tonight.
I don’t know what that means or how it’s going to look, but as I sit on the sofa, staring at the blank television screen, I wonder how the fuck we’re going to get through the night.
Well, how I’m going to get through the night.
I know I won’t be sleeping.
I don’t know if I’ll ever sleep again.
Every time I close my eyes, even to blink, I see her naked, her arm outstretched, and that fucker’s dead and bloodied body.
Throwing my arm over my eyes, I try to sleep, but I fail.
Those images come back, playing inside my head over and over.
Taking my arm off my eyes, I lean forward, placing my forearms on my thighs.
My gaze shifts to the mouth of the hallway. I stare at it, waiting for her to appear. I don’t know if she will, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll be right here watching for her, waiting for her to make her appearance if she needs me.
I’m not sure how long I sit there, but a few times, I see a vision of Juliette appear in the hall, but when I blink, she’s gone. I stay that way for hours. Time seems to pass by slowly, almost as if it’s standing still while I watch, wait, and wonder if she’s okay back there.
Then she appears again. I blink a couple of times, expecting her to vanish into the darkness, but she doesn’t. She moves closer to me, one step at a time, and I hold my breath as she does, afraid to make any sudden movements.
Then she’s in front of me, her eyes searching mine. We stare at one another for a long moment in silence before I decide to speak. “You should be asleep.”
“Couldn’t,” she says with a shrug, as if it’s just something mildly annoying. “You weren’t there.”
I’m positive she’s lying. She had some kind of nightmare, no doubt. I don’t say that, though. Instead, I reach across the sofa, grabbing ahold of a pillow and placing it on my thigh.
Reaching up to her, I wrap my arms around her as gently as possible and guide her down to the cushion next to me.
Wordlessly, she arranges herself so that her head is on my lap.
I wish I could be beside her in bed, but the last thing I want to do is add to whatever the fuck happened to her, and the truth is, I don’t know what fucking happened to her yet.
Slowly, I glide my fingertips up and down her arm, staring straight ahead at nothingness. We don’t speak. I’m not sure if anything needs to be said yet. I’ll need to know what happened eventually, so I know how to proceed with her.
In the long run, it doesn’t matter. Juliette is my woman, and I’m not going anywhere, and neither is she. I fell in love with her even harder seeing how fucking badass she was in that condo—the way she took control of the situation and her future. I’m proud as fuck.
She closes her eyes and falls asleep, but I don’t. I stay there, gliding my fingertips over her skin, guarding her. I’ll always be the one to guard her. I failed her once. I wasn’t able to protect her the way I promised I would, but I’ll never fail her again.
Not fucking ever.
I’ll die before I let anything like this happen again.