Chapter 18 Ben
eighteen
Ben
“Ican’t believe we’re doing this,” I say as I survey all the boxes. This apartment might be small, but it sure holds a lot of stuff.
James leans against the counter, taking a break from packing up the kitchen. “It’s time we both stepped up and started being proper adults with real relationships, don’t you think?”
“Yeah…you’re right. I still don’t like it. Well, I do, but it’s just…different.”
Once Lukas got back and we started a routine at his place, it grew harder to come back to the apartment between stays with him.
Even when he was away playing, I felt better at his place.
Which was telling and something I didn’t want to overthink, so I packed the rest of my stuff and moved in. Leaving James still feels weird though.
“Of course it’s different.” He turns back to wrapping the dishes. “But I’m excited about this, Ben. I didn’t think I’d meet someone who would understand me like Brandon. It feels like it was meant to be.”
After taping another box together for him, I place it on the table and lean on the counter next to James. “I get it. You’ll never hear me repeat this, but Lukas is the same. There’s just this whole…vibe we have.”
We pack in silence for a while, and it really hits me that I’ve made this giant, life-important decision. My circus days were fun. Parties and sleeping until noon. Brunches and more parties. I wouldn’t call any of it serious. I loved what I did, but a part of me knew it wouldn’t be forever.
Even knowing that, this feels like my most adult decision, and I’ve already opened a yoga studio. Somehow, sharing a sock drawer with another man ranks above opening a business on the maturity scale in my brain.
“It’s gonna work out, Ben.” James beams a smile my way. “We’re doing this, and it’s gonna be awesome.”
“And if it doesn’t work, can I crash at your place again?”
James huffs and looks at me. “You can always count on me, Ben. I’ll be there for you, but I know you don’t need it. When can we arrange a dinner date and have our guys meet properly?”
With a groan, I shove more packing paper around the dishes. “It’s hard enough getting the two of us together, let alone another couple. But let me check with him. I’d love to know Brandon better, too.”
And just like that, we stop the serious chatter and talk instead about the book he’s writing, Brandon’s dog, and farm life. He tells me about the nook he has for writing in the farmhouse, and I tell him about the nap-time classes I’m considering adding to the studio for the working moms.
“Oh my god, that’s brilliant, Ben! I bet it will be a hit.”
“Yeah.” I nod and smile. “I think so too.”
As we finish packing up the apartment that was more James’s than mine, it no longer feels like an ending.
But a new chapter in a story that, for once, might end how I want it to.
After carrying in the last box of my things to Lukas’s, well, our apartment, I grab his schedule off the fridge to make sure I’m not missing anything in my calendar.
He returns home tomorrow and has an extended home game run of five games in nine days.
On game days, I practice my routine in the studio in the afternoon before joining Lukas for a pregame nap.
Pregame naps are my favourite times. We just snuggle and sleep, and it’s so, I don’t know…
healthy? I never miss a pregame nap, that’s for sure.
Lukas goes to the rink, and I stay home, eating dinner on my own before heading to the rink and dressing thirty minutes before puck drop. It’s not ideal, but we’re settling in, and before you know it, the season will be over, and we can stop all the sneaking around.
I send off a text to James with two dates that might work for us over the next month and then start unpacking. But only after I water the plants and send a silly photo to Lukas, this time with my clothes on.
After unpacking a box, I change my mind, strip down and send him one smiling naked in front of the succulent plant.
Ben: I couldn’t resist. Can’t wait to see you.
Satisfied with my photo, I redress and head out the door to pick up the dry-cleaning and my mascot suit.
Meeting Lukas at the team bus is my favourite thing.
Families are all buzzing, excited to greet their partners after a road trip, and the first time I did it, I thought it wasn’t that big of a deal. Until I noticed how much Lukas enjoyed it. No wonder he mauled me in the dressing room when I was still acting as mascot after his first return home.
The welcome-home thing is an experience, and while I didn’t quite understand it the first time, I do now. When he steps off the bus, he immediately searches for me, and once I’m found, he smiles, and there’s a hop to his step that I wonder if anyone else notices.
He keeps his arm around me or holds my hand the whole time.
I’ve met most of his team now at the welcome-home moments after road trips, and thankfully, nobody asks why they don’t see me at the games.
That Evans’ guy always stares at me like he knows me, and it’s borderline creepy, but when I mentioned a goal he scored was a beauty—something I heard from other players—he cracked a small smile and seemed to be better.
“Pine! I need to pick up that plant slip on the way home for the girlfriend. If I forget again, she won’t be happy.”
“Yeah, for sure. I should’ve asked Ben to bring it.”
Without a pit stop to the dressing room this time, Lukas enters my car, and I drive him home with Burnsy following behind us.
“You don’t mind if he stops in for a bit, do you?”
“Of course not.”
Lukas squeezes my thigh from the passenger seat. “I saved the last photo of you naked with my plants. You really know how to brighten a guy’s day.”
I squeeze his hand back. “I didn’t know you were losing that badly, but I’ll take the timing as a win.”
He leans his head back with a sigh. “You can’t go undefeated. It’s just not possible, but man, I hate losing now that I have a taste of winning again. We’re such a good team. There’s a greatness with this group. I can feel it every game, and it keeps growing.”
The team has been winning since the season started. At 15-3-1, they’re on top of the league, and when Lukas rattles off other stats I don’t understand, I smile and cheer when it seems appropriate.
I don’t know what all the numbers and acronyms mean.
I just know they’re good, and that’s what matters.
Especially since some of those numbers are the sales of Slappy merchandise and ticket sales.
That’s what I pay attention to when Christine sends me biweekly reports. The trend looks good for Slappy.
“I’m happy for you, Lukas. It helps when you love your job.”
I pull into the parking lot of our building. It still feels weird to say it’s our place and not just his. After parking, Lukas leans over to kiss me. “One day we’ll drive to the rink together for work, and it’ll be even better.”
We linger in the car, sharing soft kisses until a tap sounds on the window.
“Oh, lovebirds! Can you take a break so I can get my plant, please?”
Lukas glares at his friend, but there’s no malice, and laughing, we both exit the car. Burnsy walks alongside us as we cross the parking lot. I shove my hands in my pockets as the winter wind picks up, and Lukas wraps his arm around my shoulders.
“Are you all moved in now, Ben?”
“Yeah, actually. I was waiting for Lukas for a few big things that need to move around, but it’s mostly done.”
Lukas smiles as he places a kiss on my cheek that makes me feel like a shaken bottle of champagne. “I like being your muscle. We’ll get it done.”
As we step off the elevator, Burnsy tells me how Lukas was an absolute beast on the ice last night. A Gordie Howe hat trick, whatever that is, and if it weren’t for Lukas, they likely would have lost Youngblood for the season.
“Lukas is a great player when we need protection, but don’t let his numbers fool you, Ben. They may be low, but he makes shit happen. He’s a great captain and a force on the ice. I’m honoured to play with him.”
Lukas nods at his teammate, suddenly at a loss for words as he opens the apartment door.
As Lukas gets the plant slip from the living room, Burnsy excuses himself to the bathroom.
“Do you want me to order in tonight, and we can just…I don’t know…reconnect?” Wrapping my arms around his waist, I let my fingers dance along the belt and zipper of his dress pants. He hums under his breath before turning to wrap his arms around me.
“I think that sounds like the perfect welcome home. Tomorrow we can take care of the heavy stuff you mentioned.”
My thumb brushes under his eye. A slight bruise is starting, but it’s not from a punch. It looks more like a scratch. “This game keeps hurting you.”
“You make it feel better though.” He kisses me again. “I still can’t believe you’re here every night.”
“I know. Me neither. I’ve never lived with someone I was sleeping with.”
Lukas and I both have stupid matching grins. We’re total buffoons, and I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him, but Burnsy interrupts the moment, and our smiles immediately vanish.
“So…I suspected, but I couldn’t confirm it until I went into the bathroom and almost screamed when the head of Slappy the Beaver stared back at me. It’s you, isn’t it, Ben?”
My eyes close as I curse under my breath. I forgot I had left the suit hanging behind the bathroom door after I picked up the dry cleaning. I rushed out to get Lukas, and I didn’t think anyone would come over. Of all the times not to have it stored out of sight.
“Burnsy…” Lukas starts, and I place a hand on his arm.
“Yes, it’s me, and my contract says I can’t actually tell anyone. When I met Lukas, he didn’t know either.”
He leans against the wall, gaze pinging back and forth between me and Lukas. “You have to tell Coach. This could be a conflict of interest, Piney.”
Oh, that’s something I didn’t even think of. I was so focused on just being honest with Lukas and making this work, I didn’t consider that there might be other rules he’s breaking.