59. Scott
CHAPTER 59
Scott
DECEMBER
“ D eck the halls…” Apollo hands a Christmas decoration to Ares.
“With hockey sti-icks.” Ares hands it to me.
“Fa-la-la-la-laaaaa.” I hand it to Athena.
“La-la-la-la.” After she’s finished singing, all our heads turn to Artemis who’s sitting on the loveseat across the living room in Mamá’s house.
He holds his hands up. “Nope.”
Most of us roll our eyes, but Ares throws a cushion at him. “Fuckin’ Grinch.”
Artemis flips him off.
“Not even Xavier can turn his Christmas frown upside down.” Apollo mutters, making Ares snort.
“There aren’t enough ghosts in all the land to make Arte’s heart grow three sizes.” Athena’s deliberately mixed up her references which makes me chuckle as she hangs another decoration on the tree.
I’m glad we opted to do this together this year. Watching her string those lights by herself last year never sat well with me, but I didn’t need to say a word this year. It was Artemis who asked if we could all get together to decorate the tree.
Gabriella is in the kitchen making cookies with Abuelita. A few of us started in there but we were kicked out for nibbling at the different kinds of dough.
Apparently if you eat a third of the mix, it’s noticeable.
Someone’s watching me, and when I scan the room, my eyes land on Apollo. I flex my eyes at him as if to ask ‘What?’
He shakes his head.
We repeat the decoration process another couple of times until Athena gets frustrated with Ares’s trip down memory lane over every decoration that passes his palms. She confiscates the box, then pauses, facing Apollo. “Qué?”
“Nada.”
“Qué? No es nada.” Her brows are raised, as are her hackles. “Habla.” She sweeps her hand at him to open the door for him to speak, then she closes it because she doesn’t stop talking. “You’ve been giving me and Scott weird looks all morning. Whatever bug’s up your ass could you fart it out please?”
Apollo shifts in his seat. If he were one of Snow White’s dwarves right now, he’d be bashful. “I was just…” He scrubs the back of his neck with his palm. “I was wondering.”
Even Artemis has leaned forward, elbows on his knees like he’s awaiting some kind of big announcement.
Apollo clears his throat. “Have you seen Ophelia lately?” He casually sinks back against the couch like his whole display of weirdness didn’t just happen.
I know what he’s really asking, I think we all do. Especially Ares because he’s got this smug smile on his face as he snickers.
Athena puts down the box of decorations and crosses her arms. “Do you mean seen, or do you mean fucked?”
Apollo moves again. “I was just curious.” He looks at me, his eyes pleading to rescue him from whatever verbal landmine he’s stood on.
“Since when have we had to be cagey about curiosity?” Athena’s not letting it go.
Apollo shrugs.
“Since it’s a conversation about our sister’s sex life.” Artemis speaks up, glaring directly at me.
I wave a hand. “Keep me out of this. He’s the one who wants to know if we’ve adopted a third.” I chuckle, checking Athena’s temperature from across the room with nothing but a glance. She’s keeping her brother going, and as she turns back toward the tree to pick up the box, she gives me a nod.
“We’ve seen her quite a lot, Athena and her have become friends. Athena’s only fucked her twice.”
Apollo’s face shows confusion, so he turns to Ares. “Have you and Eloise… you know…?”
“Fucked other people in our bedroom?” Ares snorts. “You’ve never struggled to use these words before, Pollo. What gives?”
“It’s weird asking your siblings about their sex lives. It’s not like asking a friend at a bar.”
Athena sighs. The cord of lights slips off the end of a branch of the tree, and as she rehangs it, she casts an impatient glance over her shoulder. “What are you actually asking, Apollo?”
He sighs. “I’m not sure. I think I’m curious about your bisexuality. Both of you.” He points at Ares, then back to Athena. “I know that just because you’re with Scott you’re not straight, you’re still bi. And I know that a bi person being in a monogamous, two-person relationship isn’t erasing a part of themselves, whoever that relationship is with.”
“Right.” Athena nods. “Because that argument itself is erasing. It’s the equivalent of saying, ‘oh, you’re a woman with a woman, therefore you must be lesbian now.’” The way she speaks tells everyone it’s not something she enjoys hearing.
“But I’m curious I suppose.”
“It’s quite simple really,” Abuelita enters the chat from the door. “When you find the person you’re supposed to be with, no one needs to change who they are to fit.” She gestures at me and Athena. “So many people aren’t open to the possibility that opening your relationship to an extra person, even just once to try, or full time as a polycule to benefit either one or both of the people in it, for whatever reason, is an act of great selflessness and love.” Her eyes twinkle as she takes a breath, holding us all hostage with her contribution to the conversation.
I don’t know about anyone else in the room, but I sure as shit didn’t think the de la Pena’s hundred-year-old grandmother knew words like polycule. I’m very grateful we all have mugs of either hot cocoa or eggnog at our feet or on neighboring coffee tables to keep us occupied right now as she speaks.
Before anyone else can talk, she pats Ares on the shoulder. “Ares here has found his twin flame in Eloise just as Scott and Athena have found their twin flame. Ares doesn’t need or want anyone else; he doesn’t need to erase part of himself. And as long as Eloise pegs him sometimes, he’s a happy man.”
The end of her sentence is almost drowned out entirely by Gabriella shrieking “Mamá.” Ares spraying a mouthful of hot chocolate everywhere. And Apollo hanging his head in severe distress, clearly regretting opening the door to this conversation.
Abuelita holds her hand up. “I don’t hear everything, but what I do hear, I like to understand.” She shrugs. “I Googled that word.” She grins. “It was very educational.”
Every single one of her grandchildren looks like they’re either going to vomit or are desperate for the floor to open and for the devil himself to swallow them whole.
I have to say, I’m enjoying this whole thing tremendously.
“Bisexuality doesn’t look the same on every person, Nieto.” She’s patting Apollo’s shoulder now.
He’s got his fingers in his ears, and his mouth is moving as he whispers “la-la-la-la-la,” but it’s not from a Christmas carol this time.
“Plus, if the price of me occasionally banging another woman is too high for Scott to pay.” Athena shrugs. “He can take his money elsewhere.” Seeing her strength return thread by thread like a rich tapestry has been something special to behold.
I’m absolutely going to marry that woman. In fact, I’m going to propose right here, right now, in front of everyone who knows and loves her best.
The ring is in the library, one of her favorite places, and somewhere she’s spent a lot of her time now that her father has left the building.
I kiss her cheek as I pass. “There is no price too high to pay for loving you, Athena. Whoever is charging can take the shirt off my back if it means I get to keep you.”
Her whole face softens, and Abuelita lets out a dreamy sigh. “I don’t know why you’re all getting so bent out of shape. Ares your reputation for sexual conquests is all over the internet. I’m old, I’m not dead.” She shakes her head. “Just because I’m ancient doesn’t mean I don’t get horny.” She winks at me. “Everything still works just fine.”
Good God. Now I want the ground to swallow me up as well.
Abuelita flaps her hand at us. “Don’t forget how you all came into this world.” She wags a finger at her grandchildren. “Some old people still like sex.”
Gabriella has already retreated into the cookie haven. And Athena is staring at her grandmother like she’s trying to decide something. I just like that Abuelita is comfortable enough around me to embarrass the shit out of me like I’m just one of the gang. There’s an odd comfort there. Twisted, but comfort none-the-less.
“What made you ask, Pollo?”
He shrugs. “You’re both bi, Artemis is gay. I just…” He scrubs his jaw. “I dunno. Maybe I’m missing some kind of signal that I’m something else too. Like, how would I know? What does it feel like?”
Abuelita holds up a hand. “I’ll take this one.” She smacks her grandson playfully upside the head. “You are something else. You’re straight. If you weren’t you’d know by now, and you’d feel like some part of you is missing or unsatisfied. And from the way you pine about that woman of yours…” She clicks her tongue. “I’d be very surprised if you’re anything other than straight.”
Apollo mulls over her words, nodding slowly. “It’s okay to wonder, right? Like, does everyone wonder at some point in their life?”
It’s clear that Artemis’s coming out has sent Apollo into a crisis of sexuality. He looks around the room waiting for someone to answer.
“I kissed a boy when I was ten years old.”
Everyone turns to look at me.
I shrug. “Did absolutely nothing for me. Dated his sister for a while when we got older. She was my first…” My skin heats at how much this family knows about me, now their grandmother as well. “You’d know. And they both experimented throughout their teens.” I point at Ares and Athena. “And this one…” I thumb at Artemis.
“What about this one?” The man in question tips his head to the side.
“Honestly?”
He jerks his chin for me to continue.
“You’ve been held back by your father your whole life, so you’ve only recently decided to find your true self or give him a voice that’s perhaps always been there.”
“Amén,” agrees Abuelita.
Artemis’s hard jaw softens as he processes my words. “That’s what my therapist says too.”
I look back at Apollo. “You’re questioning yourself now because you spent your whole life thinking that Artemis was straight. If he’d discovered his sexuality and come out when you were ten, or fifteen, you’d have questioned yourself then. It’s totally normal, we all have a ‘shit, what is my label?’ kind of moment. Have your existential crisis. Ask all the questions you want, even if they’re about your siblings’ sex lives. This is a safe space.” I swallow down the lump I didn’t realize had appeared in my throat. “At least it always has been for me.”
When everyone simmers back down into their smaller discussions, Apollo mouths ‘thank you,’ at me, and I nod. ‘I got you,” I mouth back. He covers his heart with his hand.
I excuse myself and head into the library. I hid it somewhere she’d never look, behind a copy of Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations. She fucking hates that book.
But when I pull out the book, my hiding place is empty. My stomach tightens. Where the fuck is the ring box with Abuelita’s ring in it?
Shit.
I grip my head with both palms, my fingers stabbing into my hair. Have I just lost a Rojas heirloom ring? I have, haven’t I?
Shit. Shit. Fucking shitting, shitting fucking shitting shit.
Fuuuuuuuck.
I can’t even make a noise, scream through my aggression. I can’t draw attention to the fact I’m in here. I thought I was being so fucking smart. I knew in my gut this was the place I’d want to propose, Athena has fallen back in love with her mom’s house now that her asshole father is gone.
It’s one of her favorite places to spend time.
I force air into my lungs on a beat of rational thinking. Perhaps their housekeeper found it while dusting. She’d know what it looks like, and she’d have given it back to Abuelita. That’s it. I haven’t lost a family heirloom that an ancient woman gave me to propose to her granddaughter.
Right?
Right. That’s exactly what has happened. Or at least, it’s what I keep telling myself as I walk back into the living room.