Chapter 3
Danielle
I was more nervous sitting in the passenger seat beside Rocco than I used to be when potential parents came into the adoption agency.
He’d seen me naked a dozen or more times, we had said things to each other in darkness I had never shared with anyone else, and still if felt so strange to be in this insane sized RV with him.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still attracted to his rocker good looks.
Those chipped blue eyes were what drew me in first. The broad shoulders and full lips surrounded by a perfectly trimmed beard were the second.
All of it gave him a dangerous look that reminded me of my bad boy phase in my twenties.
I had grown out of that, and Rocco wasn’t nearly as hard core as he believed himself to be.
“You okay?” He was turning onto the highway that would lead us out of Oregon.
“Yeah.” I ran my hand over the plush leather seat that was closer to something you would have in a living room than in a car. His was even bigger. “This thing is massive.” I shook my head.
Rocco chuckled. “You’ve said that before.”
I gave him my best dry look and turned to check out the interior.
It was harder to take everything in with the furniture pulled in like it was.
I could see the gray L-shaped sectional that was divided apart and seemed like it would be a decent size.
Across from it was a fireplace and behind it there was a table with chairs and a kitchen.
I could see the hallway, but beyond that all I could do was assume what could be there.
“I’ll give you the full tour when we stop tonight,” Rocco said and I looked over to see his eyes still on the road.
“We’re stopping tonight?” I had thought he would try to drive straight through.
“Yep.” He nodded. “It should only take us about five to six hours to get to Oakcrest Bay, California. I booked a spot with this winery thanks to an app that was recommended.”
“Why are we going to California?” I had mapped the trip and California was out of the way.
“Because we’re taking the old Route 14.” He told me. “It’s the easiest and best way. Plus the history and all the small towns along the way should be fun.”
I had looked at Route 14 since it ran across the country and Saddleback was right on it, but we didn’t need to hit it until at least Kansas. Maybe Missouri. There was no need to go to California unless he was purposely dragging this trip out.
“And just when did you decide to take all of Route 14?” I crossed my arms.
“When I bought the RV.” He glanced over at me. “I told you a while ago that I’ve always wanted to drive cross country.” It was something he had mentioned during the few times we spent the whole night together wrapped in each others arms.
“You should have mentioned it when you demanded that I join you.” I was still quite annoyed about the way he acted before.
“I need to be in Tennessee by Friday, but I would prefer to get there on Thursday so I can get settled. That doesn’t give a lot of time to stop in every little spot along the way. ”
“Relax, Giggles.” He moved his hand like he wanted to reach over and touch me, but stopped himself.
“Don’t.” I turned my head so I was looking out the side window, my voice low. I didn’t need to think about how he nicknamed me Giggles cause I always laughed when he touched the back of my knee just right. We weren’t sleeping together anymore. Reminders didn’t help.
“I need to stop.” I decided to change the subject.
“What? Why?”
“I didn’t have time to get the food I wanted.
” Up until last night I had still been trying to find a car that didn’t require me driving to Portland to pick it up.
Stupid computer glitch took out half the state.
Add in that apparently everyone and their mother was traveling because it was summer and there wasn’t a fucking car anywhere close.
“I brought food.”
“For you, but I need specific things.” I wasn’t a picky eater, but I liked certain snacks and things with me. Things that I hadn’t been able to have when I was young and living under someone else’s roof.
“Like I said, I got food.” He repeated. “We’re good.”
“Can’t you just stop?”
“Fine.” His voice was clipped.
I stayed silent for the twenty minutes it took to find a store where he could park that would have what I needed. I didn’t expect him to go inside with me, but he turned off the RV and stepped down.
We walked in and I grabbed a cart. My first stop was the veggies and produce. I went right for the specialty cheese and looked for the smoked Gouda.
“I already have it,” Rocco said beside me. “I got Gouda, the cracked pepper and olive goat cheese, and the garlic pesto pepper jack.” I looked over at him. “I also got the herb pita crackers.”
That was unexpected. “You hate those crackers.” He shrugged, but didn’t say anything.
Feeling nervous, I went toward the bread. “I also got baguettes, cinnamon bagels, and brown sugar cream cheese.”
This time I didn’t say anything but kept moving through the store. My next stop was the coffee and tea aisle. As soon as I reached for the Lady Grey tea Rocco opened his mouth.
“Let me guess, you got this too?” I snapped, and he nodded. “What? Did you raid my house while I was out?”
Damn him, he moved so that I was up against the shelves with his body pressed into mine.
“I pay attention.” His steel blue eyes bore into me. His hand slid up my side and fuck if I didn’t forget everything but the touch of his skin on mine.
“I know you.” He leaned forward with his lips just touching the shell of my ear. “In bed and out.”
“You don’t.” My breath was so shallow you would think I had just run a marathon.
“I do, but if you need to keep pretending like I don’t, I won’t stop you.”
My eyes slid closed, and I swallowed. It would be so easy to give in.
To believe there was more between us than just mind numbing, incredible sex, but that wasn’t our deal.
We had agreed there wouldn’t be more. That neither of us wanted more, and now I wasn’t so sure I could hold up my end of that bargain.
This was still a game to him, but my heart was so close to getting involved.
He wasn’t wrong. We did know each other and under different circumstances Rocco would be exactly the kind of man I might be willing to risk a relationship with, but that wasn’t what he wanted.
He had been so clear about that from the start. It wasn’t his fault that I’d changed.
“We should keep going.” I saw heat flash in his eyes. “With the shopping,” I informed him.
“If you say so.” He grinned and backed away.
If he kept this up I was going to hate that phrase by the time we got to Tennessee.
I TRIED TO KEEP QUIET for the most part during the drive.
My mind was still stuck thinking about our shopping trip.
Rocco had purchased almost everything that I had wanted to pick up.
I did get a couple of candies and a bag of chips that he missed, but it was wild to me how well he knew what I liked.
It wasn’t as if we had ever gone on a date.
Mostly our relationship, if you wanted to give it a name, consisted of text messages and lingerie.
He’d been to my house about the same number of times I had been to his, but we didn’t really do overnights or breakfast in the mornings.
Still, he had apparently been paying more attention than I had.
“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” I glanced over to see that he wasn’t looking at me at all. Just how well did this man know me? Was he more invested in what we had than I thought? Did I want him to be?
“Just thinking about the wedding.” I lied. He didn’t need to know I had been contemplating what was between us.
“I don’t remember you ever mentioning being close enough with anyone to consider them a sister other than Ginger.”
He wasn’t wrong. Ginger and I met and became fast friends when we both moved to Bliss Haven. We shared the same past of growing up without family. The big difference was that she had no idea where she came from, and I had a small clue.
“It’s not something I talk about.”
“What’s she like?” He asked.
“Who?”
He rolled his eyes. “Your sister.”
“She isn’t my real sister.” I corrected. “She was this little thing that looked up to me from the moment my foster parents brought her to the house.” They had been my third set of ‘parents’ in four years. I still ended up with one more before I aged out, but they had been one of the best.
“She’s five years younger than me and is about to start her last year of college,” I told him. “She took a year and a half off to try her hand at pageants.”
Personally, I thought she was far too young to be getting married, but it wasn’t my decision. I didn’t know the guy. They had been dating since their senior year in high school, and her adopted parents loved him, so I would support her and hope for the best.
“So she’s pretty and that’s about it?” He laughed.
“She’s also majoring in civil engineering with a minor in foreign studies.
” I defended. “She speaks three languages, and her platform that she competed on was working with organizations to help build environmentally sustainable buildings in underprivileged and underdeveloped communities and countries.”
“Okay, so she’s pretty and smart.” He looked toward me. “You two have a lot in common.”
I scoffed. “Really? Of all the lines you’ve ever used on me that was probably the worst.”
“What makes you think I’ve ever used a line on you?” His brows came together.
“The fact that I ended up in your bed.”
“That was just chemistry and passion.” He shrugged. “It also helped that we have a lot in common.”
“Not anymore.” I turned my head.
“If you say so.”
“Please stop saying that.” I damn near growled. The lift of his lips let me know he knew exactly how much he was getting to me.
“Okay, then why don’t you tell me how we’ve changed?
” He asked. “We both are still devoted to our community. We have some of the same friends. More so now that Dermott and Daphne are living together. We both have a wicked sense of humor and are really good at flirting. We love sex, and you can’t convince me that I don’t make you feel good.
” He wiggled his eyebrows. “As for me, I’ve never been with anyone who sets me on fire the way you do.
So tell me why you all of a sudden think there’s this big difference between us. ”
“It isn’t that there is some crazy difference. It’s just that things are different now.”
“How?” He pressured. “How are they different besides you unceremoniously deciding we shouldn’t sleep together anymore?” There was a bit of frustration in his tone.
“You wouldn’t understand.” It was a lame cop out, but I was scared if I told him the truth he would convince me I was wrong.
That we could keep going exactly like we were.
It wouldn’t be that hard. It wasn’t as if I stopped being attracted to him, or that sitting here with only the small space between us dampened the heat I could still feel from his body.
“I’m fairly intelligent.” He snapped.
“Just let it go.” I unbuckled my seatbelt.
“Where are you going?” He asked when I stood up.
“I’m tired and I don’t want to continue this conversation.” I blew out a breath. “Isn’t there some place to lay down in here.”
“The bedroom is in the back, but you can use the couch behind me,” he said. “It’s as good a place as any to hide.”
“I’m not hiding.”
“If you say so.” The bit in his words seared me to the bone and pull tears close to the surface.
“You know what? Fuck you, Rocco.” I didn’t owe him any explanations. “I knew you could be an ass, but you’d never been this much of one to me.”
Maybe I had been wrong about him. I was over my bad boy phase. I had done the jackasses, and dumb asses, and just plain asses. I had no desire to go back just because Rocco was suffering from a severe case of blue balls.
I bumped and rocked my way as far back as I could until I found the bedroom and threw myself on the waiting mattress.
There was a light pressure behind my eyes but I held back the tears that wanted to fall.
I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of crying over him.
We were done. Nothing was going to change that.