Chapter 5
Danielle
I was going to crack. There was no if, ands, or buts about it. There was no way I was going to make it all the way to Tennessee without giving in and sleeping with Rocco at least one more time. It felt inevitable. Maybe it had been inevitable since Dermott suggested I join him on this trip.
I flopped down on the bed and waited for the RV to start moving again. I hadn’t looked at the map, but I didn’t think we were staying here. Not with the way that girl had handed him the map. It took some time, but the engine fired up, and I felt the jerk of movement.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to give in. Who was I kidding? I knew it would be incredible, but it wouldn’t help. Not in the long run.
Before I could put any more thought into this, the RV stopped again. I should probably go back up front and say something, but I needed some time to myself. Besides, if Rocco got lonely, he could just go take Miss Flirty up on her offer.
“Hey.” His voice surprised me. “Why are you lying face down?” I felt the bed dip and knew he was beside me. He put his hand on my back and ran it up and down. “Not to get yelled at again or called another name, but is it cramps?”
I turned my head and looked him in the eye. He was lying on his side, facing me. “Why would you ask that? Cause I’m being such a hormonal bitch?”
“Your words, not mine.” He raised an eyebrow. “But also I have a general idea of when it’s...you know.” He hesitated.
It never failed to boggle my mind how men could be all about getting that ass and the minute cramps and periods were brought up, they got all squeamish.
“There’s no way that you know that.”
“I don’t know from personal experience of being around you, but I do know when you refuse to let me be anywhere near you.” He wore a knowing look. “That is generally a dead giveaway.”
“Noted.” I guess that made sense. “Well, if you must know, it isn’t that time of the month or cramps.” I still had another week before that hit.
“Oh.” He didn’t stop touching me, and I let my eyes close, enjoying having his hands on my body again. “Then why are you lying here like this?”
“Thinking.”
“About?”
“This whole trip.”
I heard him take in a breath, but didn’t open my eyes. “I’m sorry if I’m making things difficult for you. I just want to understand, and you aren’t exactly making it easy for me to do that.”
“I’m sorry. I just have a lot on my mind.” I admitted.
He took another breath.”I need to let the slides out, and you should come see our view.”
I opened my eyes and met his. “Is it beautiful?”
“The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He looked directly into my heart. My chest burned with the same desire I always felt near him.
“Roc,” My breath was shaky as I placed my hand against his cheek. Fear crept over me as I took a moment to question just how deep my feelings were. How had I missed this?
He didn’t hesitate or hold back. One moment we were lying there facing each other, the next his mouth was on mine.
His lips moved against me with a practiced skill of someone who knew exactly how I liked to be kissed.
Soft and first, and then more demanding.
His arm tightened around me and pulled me closer.
His tongue ran over the seam of my mouth, and I opened to him. Desperate to be closer.
We rolled slightly so he was on his back and I was resting on top of him. His hands dug into my hair and held me steady. My leg went over his on instinct. Desire that I had been pushing away took over, and I was more than desperate to have him inside me. I needed his cock like I needed breath.
Within seconds, I was straddling him. My body was dripping with longing and need as I moved over the large, hard bulge that was waiting for me.
“That’s it, baby.” He kissed his way to my neck. “Fuck, I knew you couldn’t stay away.”
His words, while probably meant to be sexy, had the opposite effect. I lifted the top of my body away from him.
“What does that mean?”
“That you want me as much as I want you.” He tried to pull me back. “We’re too good together to stop.”
“Fucking, you mean?” I pushed myself off of him. “We’re to good to stop fucking?”
“Yeah.” He sat up with a shrug.
“What if there’s more?” I faced him.
“What are you talking about?”
“You want to know why I stopped whatever this is going on between us?” I stood waving my hands around in the air.
“Because there has to be more than just fucking ever few days or once a week. I look at Ginger, Hailey, Daphne, and even Sunny. They are all so happy. I see the way Elliot treats Sunny, and I want that. The way being with Daphne has changed Dermott. I want that.”
“I want someone who looks at me like he would burn down the world to protect me. That can’t stop the desire to have me from shining in his eyes. That drives me crazy and maybe we argue from time to time, but I know he isn’t going anywhere because he loves me too much to ever walk away.”
“Danni.”
“I know that isn’t what we agreed on.” I shook my head.
“But things didn’t change, and I did. I wish I could say that I was sorry, but I can’t.
I don’t know if that kind of love exists for me.
It might not, but I want to give it a try.
I want to see if I can find it. I might end up broken in the end, but it’s a risk I’m finally willing to take. ”
I let out a long breath. “I walked away because it wasn’t fair to you or me to feel this way and keep doing what we were doing.” I waved my hand over the bed he was still sitting on. “You told me how you feel about love and relationships. I get it, but I want more.”
He didn’t say anything. Just continued to sit there staring in my direction. Finally, he stood. “I should go put out the slides.” As responses go, that hadn’t been what I expected, but it told me all I needed to know.
“Yes, you should.” He wasn’t ready for what I wanted.
He walked past me. For a moment, I thought he was going to stop. He looked as if he was going to stop, but he didn’t. he kept going, and I let him, knowing this was it. We were finally done.