Chapter 7
Danielle
T he next few days were very confusing. If I didn’t know better, Rocco had changed, too.
The way he was acting, it felt as if he was the one who wanted more out of whatever was going on between us.
He kept up a steady stream of conversation, telling me about his family and his life and asking about mine.
He suggested road trip games that I had never heard of, and every time we stopped, he held me all night long without trying anything.
If he kept this up, I wasn’t sure my heart would be able to take it.
We were packing up in order to get on the road. We had stayed just outside of Basic Plaines, Kansas, for the night and would be in Heartstone, Missouri, by this evening. It was the last stop before we reached Saddleback, and I had no idea what would happen when we did.
“A bike?”
“A motorcycle.” He clarified.
“You’re getting a motorcycle?” I didn’t remember him ever mentioning that he wanted a motorcycle.
“Maybe. My family isn’t really happy about the idea.” He shrugged. “They’re worried something is going to happen to me. Like I’ll get hurt or something.”
“It’s a fair concern.” I agreed. I didn’t like hte idea of something happening to him. Just the thought made my chest hurt and brought back a sense of loss I always tried to keep at bay.
“I thnk your family is right.” I pushed away the memories trying to surface. “You never know what can happen.”
“I’ll be careful.”
“Sometimes that isn’t enough.” I focused my attention on the passenger window.
Foggy images I didn’t like thinking about played in my mind.
I closed my eyes working harder to make them go away.
Smiles I thought I had forgotten were replaced with Rocco’s smile.
The strong hand I could remember holding was now Rocco’s.
Broken words echoed through me. He’s gone. They’re both gone.
“What’s going on?” Rocco asked.
“It’s nothing.”
“Talk to me, Danielle.” He replied. “Tell me what just happened.” I closed my eyes and felt the tears I didn’t realize were there, started rolling down my cheek.
“Danni?” I felt the RV slow and pull to the side.
When it came to a stop, I heard the click of a seatbelt, and then Rocco was kneeling beside me.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” He had my hand in his, and his other hand wiped at my cheek.
“I...I...” Did I really want to open the past and tell him everything?
“Danni?” His voice was so loving, I couldn’t stay quiet.
“There’s a reason I don’t fly.” I don’t know why I decided to start there, but that was the first thing that came out.
“Okay.”
“My parents died in a plane crash.” I pulled in a harsh breath and heard him do the same.
“What?” He squeezed my hand. “I’m so sorry.”
“I was four.” I explained. “I don’t really remember them. Then again, I don’t remember a lot about that time. Mostly feelings. I knew they loved me.” I could feel the corner of my lip rise. “I knew I was happy. That I was safe, and then it all went away.”
“When you told me you grew up in foster care, I thought it was from birth. I didn’t know something like this happened.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand. “Didn’t your parents have any family that could have taken you in?”
“My father had a brother,” I told him. “He tried, and I vaguely remember him, but I guess losing his brother and then having a small child dropped in his lap was too much for him. A year later, I was in foster care.”
“That’s bullshit.” Rocco’s exclamation shocked me. “I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said that, but there’s no way I would let Seb’s child end up in foster care. No way. That isn’t what family does.”
I shrugged. “I guess he had his reasons. Like I said, I don’t really remember him, and if I have any other family, I don’t remember.”
“Have you ever thought about looking for them?” He asked.
I nodded. “I thought about it when Ginny went looking for hers, but I was scared about what I might find. What if there was a good reason that my uncle gave me up? Or that no other family came forward? What if there was something wrong with me?”
“The hell there was.” This time, he didn’t apologize for his outburst. “You were four. There was no way that there could have been anything wrong with you. You are perfect, baby. Whatever happened is on them, not you. Never you.”
I appreciated his support, but I was far from perfect.
“If you want to find them or any information that you can, I’ll help.” He offered. “My family has a lot of connections. I’m sure the two of us can find whatever you want to know.”
I shook my head. “I’m not ready for that.” What if I found out they never wanted me, or that my parents weren’t the people I’ve built them up to be?
Like most kids in the system, I’ve always had this idea of how amazing my birth parents were. What my life would have been like if they had lived. It’s a fantasy, I know, but it’s the only constant I’ve ever had in my world. I would hate to lose that.
“Okay.” He raised up just a bit and gave me a quick kiss. His forehead rested against mine. “But when or if you ever change your mind, I’ll be there. You don’t have to do this alone.”
New tears burned my eyes. If I could have come up with what I would want the guy I was dating to say, it would have been that. Word for freaking word.
“Thank you.” I gave him a small smile. My hands came up to cup the side of his face. “Be careful. I know from what happened with my parents that sometimes things go wrong without you planning on it. A motorcycle can be dangerous, and I’d hate for something to happen to you, too.”
“Nothing is going to happen to me giggles.” He kissed me again. “I would never do that to you.”
I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. This kiss wasn’t as passion-filled as our regular kisses. This one was soft and touched a part of my heart I didn’t know he’d captured. A large part that scared the shit out of me.
When he pulled back, I sat there staring right at him, trying to regain my balance. My mind swirled in confusion.
“We should get going if we are going to make it to Missouri in time.” He drew a long breath.
“Sure.”
He kissed me once again and then moved back to the driver’s seat.
I stayed quiet. My heart pounded as the truth settled around me.
I hadn’t planned it or expected it, but somehow Rocco had worked his way into my heart.
Not just a small part, but the whole thing.
I was in love, and I had no idea what to do about it.
The only thing I was sure about was that come Thursday, Rocco would be gone and I’d be heartbroken for the second time in my life.