Chapter 11
Danielle
T he rehearsal dinner sucked ass. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world right now, and all I wanted to do was get the hell out of here. I was miserable, and I had no one to blame but myself.
As much as I wanted to believe I didn’t he right thing by sending Rocco away I could shake the feeling that I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life all because our conversation brought up thoughts of my family and I couldn’t take the risk that I’d lose him too.
The whole thing was irrational, I knew that, but sitting in the RV I knew that there was no way I could handle going through opening myself up to that kind of heartbreak again.
Maybe I needed therapy, not a relationship, but damn it, I wanted Rocco and I was afraid it was too late.
That I had hurt him too much for him to ever give me another chance.
Why would he? I told him I wanted a relationship and then when he offered it to me; I turned him down.
Worse, I made it sound like my decision was about him when it was clearly about me. I needed to make this right.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” Belle rushed up behind me and shocked the crap out of me. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders. She wasn’t tiny, but she also wasn’t quite as tall as I was.
“Me too.” I put on a smile I didn’t feel. “I’m so happy for you.” I wondered if I could sneak out of here without her noticing.
“Thanks. I’m a lucky girl.” She let me go and sat on the bar stool next to me.
“You’ve always been lucky.”
“I know.” She raised her hand for the bartender to bring her another drink. “I sometimes wonder where I’d be if I’d stayed at the foster home instead of my parents finding me.” She lifted her head and looked around. “I don’t think I’d be here.”
“You never know. I stayed, and I turned out alright.” I reminded her.
She put her hand over my arm. “Oh, that wasn’t what I meant.”
“It wasn’t?”
“No.” She shook her head with a light smile as the bartender put down a glass of wine in front of her.
“What I meant was that it was hard enough opening up to my parents once I was adopted, and I was little.” She shrugged.
“That first three months, I didn’t say a word other than yes.
I was so scared that if I said the wrong thing or disagreed with anything they said, they’d take me back. I didn’t understand love.”
“And you do now?” I was older, had a wonderful group of friends, and I still wasn’t sure I understood it.
She smiled and glanced over at her soon-to-be husband.
“Yeah.” She nodded. “He helped me. I’ve never felt safer or freer than with him.
He has a way of understanding when I’m afraid and just being there.
He isn’t perfect, but I’m not either, and he accepts that.
And he reminds me every day that I’m loved and wanted.
” She ran her finger over her engagement ring.
“That this means there are no take-backs. That we’ve chosen each other for life. ”
I drew in a shuttering breath. “Don’t you ever worry that he might change his mind, or that life could take him away?”
“Every day.” She swallowed, but her smile never left.
“But the thing is, love and commitment don’t come with a guarantee.
Nothing in life does, and if you spend it waiting for everything to be taken away, then you miss all the good things.
I’d rather have as much time with him as I can, feeling his love, then none at all. He’s worth whatever comes.”
She picked up her wine and gave me another side hug. “Whoever you’re thinking about is probably worth it for you, too.”
My brows came together. “What makes you think there is someone?”
“Sorry, I just assumed, but it’s pretty clear something is wrong and I want you to be happy.” She giggled. “I want every to experience what I have.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that.” But even as I said the words, all I could see was Rocco’s face. His smile. Hear his laughter. I could feel the tears pushing at my eyes.
“Only you know that, but don’t hide in fear.” Her smile grew. “Love makes you brave, and you’re already the bravest person I’ve ever known.”
I didn’t know about that. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for being my first real sister.” She placed a small kiss on my cheek and walked away.
I watched her move through the room toward her fiancée. His arm went around her as soon as she was close enough, and his smile was just as big as hers. The way he looked down at her made my heart hurt with longing. I wanted that. Fuck me, I had that. I had it and I let it go.
I pulled out my phone and called Rocco. I had no idea where the rally was being held, but maybe we could talk. He needed to know that I was sorry.
“This is Roc. You know what to do.” His voicemail picked up.
“Hi, it’s me.” I really didn’t want to do this over the phone.
“You’re probably all wrapped up with everyone at the rally and showing off your new bike.
Please be careful.” I added. “I just wanted to call and tell you I’m sorry.
I shouldn’t have shut you down. I should have really listened to what you were trying to tell me, and I didn’t. ” I took a deep breath.
“I miss you.” I’d said those words before, but I didn’t mean them as strongly as I did now.
“I’ve missed you since before we took this trip.
I’ve missed you since I put an end to our deal, because I never wanted it to end.
I still don’t want it to end. Everything I was looking for I found with you, and I was just too scared to see it. ”
“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m so sorry and if you still want to give us a chance, then so do I.
” For the first time all night, I felt better.
“I don’t think I can get away until after the wedding tomorrow.
” I already saw Belle waving me over. “But if you have some time, I’d love to talk.
If you would rather not, I’ll understand.
But I hope you give me more of a chance than I gave you. ”
BELLE’S WEDDING WAS absolutely beautiful and extremely large.
I think the whole town showed up. They had it in this old church that probably sat over a thousand people, and every chair looked full.
I didn’t know the family that adopted her was such a big deal in Saddleback, but apparently they were.
It was either them or the family she was marrying into.
Maybe both. Either way, I had never been to any wedding this size before in my life.
I had a sneaky suspicion that my friend Ginger’s wedding was going to be equally as big whenever CJ got around to proposing.
I smiled for all the pictures afterward that were done in a fabulous park with trees and flowers that were so bright and vibrant they didn’t look real. Like seriously, this might be one of the most amazing places on Earth.
Belle looked wonderful. Her dress was a mix of elegance and old-world charm. She wore her hair in a half-up, half-down style that complemented her face, and the love that she felt gave her skin such a glow so beautiful that I felt myself tearing up a few times during the day.
Her family welcomed me as if I had been her birth sister. They kept checking in with me and making sure that I was in all the family pictures. I could easily see why Belle felt so loved and happy, and it made me glad that she found people with hearts as big as theirs.
Everyone made a grand entrance into the reception hall that looked as if it held even more people than the church. Was any business open today?
I walked in with the same guy who had escorted me down the aisle. He was a nice enough looking dude with dark hair and an easy smile. He tried his hand at flirting, but I quickly shut it down. I wasn’t in the mood for a hook-up, and there was no way this could be more.
I hadn’t heard back from Rocco. I debated calling him back, but I was going to try to leave early tonight and make my way to the rally.
I found out where it was being held from the concierge and I already had a rental car.
I had it booked to take me back home if needed, but I really was hoping I wouldn’t need it.
I’d rather ride back with him. Maybe stop and explore this time instead of rushing through each of the towns we passed getting here.
The best man gave a toast that had everyone laughing, and the maid of honor’s toast was touching and sentimental. I watched as Belle danced with her father and once again had to wipe at my eyes to make sure nothing was coming out.
People clinked their silverware against glasses repeatedly to get the happy couple to kiss, and the food was delicious.
Soft music played during dinner, but I could see instruments on a small stage at the end of the dance floor that made me guess there would be a band before the end of the night.
I looked down at my watch, wondering how much longer.
I figured that might be my chance to take off.
More clinking, and I watched as Belle and her new husband kissed once again. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone stand and hold up their glass in a toast. I turned my head, and my breath caught in my chest as Rocco stood there looking sinfully handsome in a three-piece suit.
“Forgive me.” His deep voice cut through the people whispering. “I don’t know the couple well, but I wanted to wish them a lifetime of happiness.” I let out the breath I was holding.
“It’s not easy finding the person who fills your heart.
” His eyes drifted to mine. “Sometimes you think you’ve found that special someone, but when life gets hard, you look around and they’re gone, and it can take a long time for you to get over that pain.
” Tears fell easily and for the first time in my life I felt both seen and understood.
“I don’t worry about that with these two. With them, you can see the love they share will be there through the good and the bad, and that they will always stand strong beside each other.” His toast might have been for everyone else, but his words were for me.
“Congratulations and trust in what you feel for each other. Now and in the future.” He lifted his glass higher, and everyone did the same.
The band took over almost right after he sat back down. People got up and made their way to the dance floor. I stood to go find him, and he was right beside me.
“Hi.” I looked into his eyes.
“Hi.” He reached for my hand and lifted it to his lips.
“How did you find us?”
“Are you kidding?” He laughed. “Every in town has been talking about this wedding since we got here. I just followed a handful of the people at the rally.” He kissed my hand again. “You look beautiful, by the way.”
“Thank you.” I was sure he had to be lying. There was no way my eyeliner wasn’t smeared all over my face. “What are you doing here?”
“Today was important to the woman I love. Where else would I be?”
My breath stilled. “What did you say?”
He let my hand go and wrapped himself around me. “I love you, Danielle.” His eyes never left mine. “I’ve loved you from the first time I saw you walking through the city council building while I was visiting my brother.”
“What?” I didn’t remember that. “When was this?”
“Too long ago to think about. I’ve definitely loved you since that night at the bar,” he said. “I was so scared that I’d fuck this up, but I’d rather take a chance with you than be with anyone else.”
He took a deep breath. “When I was younger, I thought I’d marry my high school sweetheart and play hockey with Dermott. Then I messed up my leg, and my dream of playing professionally died. I didn’t think she’d walk away, but she did. According to her, I wasn’t good enough without hockey.”
“What a bitch.” The words fell out without any thought.
Rocco laughed. “There is a reason I don’t say her name, but that isn’t the point. I thought I must not be good at relationships if she wasn’t willing to stay without the sports. How could I be enough for anyone to love?”
“I probably should have told you that before, but again, I was scared you’d walk away the same as she did and I couldn’t take that chance.”
It was like he was speaking into my heart. I understood that emotion. Hell, I shared it.
“I was scared too. I’m still scared.” I admitted. “I want a relationship. I want a relationship with you, but what happens when you realize you don’t want me or that I lose you? I couldn’t take that.”
“You’ll never lose me, Giggles.” He brought his forehead to mine. “I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”
I put my hands on the side of his face. “Do you mean that?”
“Absolutely.”
“Even if winery girls throw themselves at you?” I meant it as a joke, but I was still a little annoyed that she had acted as if we weren’t together.
“Even if they start stripping right in front of me.” He pressed his lips to mine. “Although if you’re interested in having one of them join us.” He let the sentence trail off.
“I don’t share.” It was best to get that out of the way now.
He let out a dark chuckle. “Neither do I.” His hold tightened.
“I love you, too.” I finally let the words out. “I love you and I’m so sorry I didn’t say it sooner.”
“That’s okay. You said it now, and that’s what's important.”
Rocco had me in his arms and lifted me in a circle. His lips pressed to mine, and his hold was completely perfect.
“I can’t wait to spend my life with you.” He lowered me back to my feet.
“Getting a little ahead of yourself there.” I laughed.
“We are at a wedding.”
“Technically, we are at a reception.” I pointed out.
“Yeah. A wedding reception.” He wiggled his eyebrows. I couldn’t argue, so I didn’t say anything at all. “Dance with me.”
“Okay.”
We walked onto the dance floor hand in hand. I might have tried to slow him down, but I couldn’t wait to spend my life with him, too. He was my person, and I’d finally found the one I’d been searching for. He was beside me all along.