Chapter 14
The meal that night in the old shopping mall consisted of three small rabbits that Harrison kept laughing about. “Fucking rabbits.”
Rana would giggle and cover her mouth, her eyes shining as she watched him lope around, his body hunched over as he ran on ‘four legs’ leaping and twisting like he was made of rubber.
How the kid was that bendy, I had no idea.
Lucky sat to my right and Isla was across from us, glaring daggers whenever she dared look my way.
“Fucking rabbits indeed taste better than I remember.” Lucky held up a drumstick and waved it in the air. “I checked from the rooftop, no bleeders, nobody anywhere close to us.”
Veyyr stood apart from the group, pacing. Color me suspicious but I had a feeling it had to do with me telling him about the blue cloaked witch. If she scared Veyyr, we were fucked if she came on us.
“I’ll take first watch,” I offered.
Isla sniffed. “We don’t take watches. I’ll set a ward.”
“We take watches tonight,” Veyyr said as if she hadn’t spoken. “Lucky, you take over for Mal. Dave, Egan, you each take two hours, Harrison you take the early morning watch. I’ll be up on the roof. You hear so much as a cockroach sneeze, you fucking wake everyone up.”
The others looked to each other, concern etching every face. “What’s up, Boss?” Lucky stood. “Something bad?”
He gave a tight nod. “Thorn.”
Harrison paled. “Fuck, are you serious?”
That was the witch’s name? The one with the blue cloak? Why didn’t it ring a bell with me? Why didn’t it stir more memories?
Isla shook her head. “I’ve been checking, there has been no magic anywhere near us. Besides. She’s not as powerful as everyone thinks.”
My eyebrows shot up. “You’ve faced her?”
Her smile was sickly sweet. “She wouldn’t dare face me.”
The bald-faced lie was so shocking, that I let it stand.
What was the point, if Thorn showed up and Isla wanted to take her on, let her have at it.
I’d seen them both in action and Isla was like comparing a matchstick to the flames of hell.
One you could blow out, the other would consume you, screaming and begging for mercy.
If Thorn truly showed up, Isla’s death would give the rest of us time to run.
I smiled at her, true joy hitting me hard. “Perfect, I hope to see that match.”
Isla’s smile cracked at the edges.
Egan handed me a mug of something steaming. “Here, kids found packs of hot chocolate.”
I took the offered mug with thanks and took a sip. The chocolate tang and sweetness coated my tongue and slid down my throat, and I struggled not to whimper with gratitude. Tears pricked my eyes as the hot chocolate seemed to tug on a buried memory.
Isla was laughing, saying something about me crying over hot chocolate, but I didn’t care because I could almost grab hold of that memory…something from my far past.
Someone who loved me as only a parent could, pressing the hot chocolate to my lips and whispering something…a man’s voice. My father’s voice.
“When things get dark my little spitfire, you take the smallest moments of light to find your path again. Even if it’s just a warm drink to soothe the cold away.”
A full-on sob worked its way up from my belly and I stumbled from the circle around the fire, clutching the mug, choking on a grief that dropped on me like an avalanche of rocks that had given me no warning.
I stumbled away from the fire, even while someone reached for me. I kept moving until I found a dark corner, far from the others. Like a wounded animal finding a place to hide their injuries.
I couldn’t hear anything past the white noise rushing in my ears.
The only thing I could do was try to hang onto the wall as deep, crushing sobs ripped out of me, tearing their way past my lips.
Even if I didn’t know my father fully, I knew he’d loved me. I felt it in my bones and the knowledge that he was gone. He was dead. That knowledge hit me at the same time I remembered his love for me.
Landslides of pain, or loss and love had me on my knees. I focused on breathing.
The woman’s voice, the woman I was starting to suspect was my mother, whispered through me, pain in every word she spoke.
There is a time for grief, and in our world that isn’t long.
Grieve deep, and hard, and then let their memory keep you going.
Let what they’ve taught you never leave you and in that, they will be with you always.
Big hands grabbed my shoulders and then I was pulled into a crushing hug against Lucky’s chest, the smell of popcorn and ogre musk flooding my nose.
With excellent hearing came words from a witch I didn’t need.
“She’s going to attract a monster with all that noise,” Isla said, far louder than the sobs escaping me which were far from noisy, especially this far from the fire.
“Ignore her,” Lucky said. “What’s wrong?”
“A memory came back and…he’s gone.” I choked out those two words. “My father is dead.”
Lucky held me tight. “Ah, shit. I’m sorry, Mal.”
I nodded and pulled my shit together, dragging my emotions under control. He’d been gone for…longer than I’d been away from my memories. That’s what it felt like, anyway.
“Mallory?”
Rana’s voice was soft and so fucking sad, not for herself, but for me. She didn’t even know what I was dealing with and yet she came to comfort me. She wrapped her arms around my waist. “What’s wrong?”
“I…my father is gone too, Rana, and I just remembered.”
Her tears were immediate her own grief finally given a chance to spill over.
Her sobs were near silent, just as mine had been, because in this world you learned to be in pain with little to no noise. In that Isla was right, we didn’t need to bring the monsters closer and lose someone else.
I rocked her side to side, and Lucky held us both with ease with his massive frame.
“It will be okay,” I said into her hair, my throat thick with emotion. “Even if it doesn’t feel like it. Let what he’s taught you never leave you and in that, he will be with you always.”
I scooped her up and held her to my chest, feeling the weight of what she’d been through even more keenly as she buried her face against my neck.
“I am so sorry, Rana. I am so sorry you lost your daddy.” The words were coated in my own grief, but she was a child, and she needed me to be strong for her, no matter that it felt like there was a piece of me breaking loose and floating in an ocean of the unknown.
Tears streaked through the dirt on her face as she pulled back and stared at me her words cracking through the loneliness. “I’m sorry you lost your daddy too.”
“But we’ve got each other now.” Lucky crushed us together. “Family don’t mean blood, girls. I’ll let you be my little sisters. Neither of you look much like an ogre, but I think we can make it work. Maybe get you a rude shirt or two.”
Rana sniffed a laugh. “You want two sisters?”
“Seems like a recipe for trouble, and I love trouble!” He grinned down at us, but I saw the glimmer of moisture in his eyes. Because we’d all lost someone we loved. That’s just how the world worked. Maybe he’d lost a sister. A mother. A mate.
I picked up my hot chocolate, not even sure when I’d put it on the ground. I wasn’t sure I’d even tasted it more than a bare sip. “Here. Did you finish yours?”
Rana grinned up at me, her smile wobbly. “Thank you. Sis.”
She tried out the word and Lucky picked her up and carried her back to the fire, speaking over his shoulder. “You good?”
“Yeah. Just give me…a minute.” That was all I needed, a minute on my own to process a memory that had shaken me to the core. A moment to pull the rest of my mind together.
The frustrating thing was that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t pull more of the memory of my father up—not his face, not another moment with him, nothing.
Just that piece of his voice.
Fractions of memories was all I was being allowed…but at least it was something. Sorrow flitted over to me, landing heavily on my shoulder, tugging at my hair. “Sad girl. Sorry.”
I reached up and stroked his slick feathers. “Thanks, Sorrow, I am sad. Not your fault.”
“Sorry.” He butted his head against mine, the blunted horn pressing into my cheek. “Sorry, sad girl.”
I blinked and he tipped his head, so I was looking into the glossy dark eyes, shot with silver, seeing through him, as if his eyes were…a portal.
A field, long stemmed purple flowers rippling in the wind, ocean waves and then the unmistakable sound of hoofbeats in my ears. “What is this?” I breathed, the field, the ocean, the hooves drawing me closer to Sorrow.
He blinked and the image was gone, the sounds nothing more than the crackling of the fire, the talking of the others here in this place.
No hoofbeats.
No ocean.
“Sorrow…where are you from?”
A ruffle of feathers, he fluffed his body, then scraped his horn across his scaly legs. “Far away.”
The sounds and the place were like so many things—they tugged at me, asking me to remember. Maybe I would have been able to get more out of him, but as it was, we were interrupted.
His head whipped around, staring back toward the others.
A low gurgling cluck. There was a commotion, a clattering of utensils, Lucky cursing loudly.
We were being attacked, and I wasn’t with them.
Sorrow let out a screech. “Death! Death!”
I was already running as the shouting started.
“What did you do?” Harrison screamed and I thought for sure Thorn had found us. She’d found us and we were cooked.
Harrison faced Isla, whatever fear he had of her gone as he swung a frying pan at her head. She ducked it easily, and didn’t lash back at him, her face bright red with fury.
“The girl shouldn’t have drank it!” Isla snapped.
The girl.
I searched for Rana, not seeing her at first because she was flat out on the floor, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. Her chest rose and fell in huge gasping breaths, as she choked on the foam bubbling past her lips. I slid across the floor on my knees. “On her side!”